That's it. I've had enough.
For years it has been coming. Since the dawning of rotisserie baseball and fantasy sports, the signs have always been there. I've ignored it mostly. Tried to fit in for a while. But I couldn't do it any longer, nor could I sit idly by as our nation's pasttime was slowly eaten away by the same group of douchebags who brought us such wonders as Six Sigma, Microsoft Excel, KPI's (Key Performance Indicators) and the pocket protector.
How many of these pasty, mom's basement living, glass arm having, no facial hair growing, weak-sister swinging nerds could even tell the difference between Ken Griffey, Jr and Barry Bonds just by watching the outline of the stance or the swing?
How many can tell the difference between a pitcher who is short-arming, or trying to spot his pitches, or following through too much. Hell, how many could even tell the difference between a slide-step and stretch?
Not enough my friends, and they've taken over the blogosphere with their UVR, WARP, WPA, ERA+, DUP and other crap. These pathetic wretches laugh when you try to tell them that someone is struggling because their mechanics have changed or they are dipping a shoulder, when all they want to do is blame it on the win-share or some other crap. Sure, they can tell you when the problem started, but they have no idea why or how to fix it. As such, it is up to us, the old-school fan to inform them of what the real men do.
Baseball is still a game played by men. Men are physical creatures, we don't live inside a box score. Kinesiology is the most important factor in analyzing a player. Is the swing compact? Is the drive leg stable, where does the follow-through end up? These are the real ways to analyze a ballplayer.
To all you nerds, go back to the basement. Read our manifesto, Scout's Honor, then come back and tell us how imporant your DUP is.
Ballplayers of the world unite! Viva La Revolucion!