Date Sunday, September 16
Inning: Bottom of 8th
On First: Alexi Casilla
On Second: Michael Cuddyer
On Third: Justin Morneau
Score: Detroit 6, Twins 3
Outs: 2

Pitch #1: Called Strike
Pitch #2: Foul
Pitch #3: Called Strike

Dear Joe,

I know you probably don't want advice on how to hit.  You would point out that, throughout your career, you have gotten a hit more than three out of every ten times you've put the ball in play, and you've reached base almost four times for every ten you've gone to the plate.

But here is my unsolicited advice: when it is the bottom of the 8th, and the bases are loaded, and you are a pinch hitter, and your team is down by three runs, and the next two batters in the order are Luis Rodriguez and Nick Punto:

SWING THE $%!@&@! @#&!^$# BAT!

Thank you,

The Entirety of Twins Territory