Orioles GM Spoke to Twins About Brian Roberts

Courtesy of Jeff Zrebiec of the Baltimore Sun, online.

I'm pretty sure the conversation went something like this:

MacPhail:  Hey, you guys need a second baseman?
Smith:  Ummm...(checking through stats)...no.  No, we don't.
MacPhail:  Really?  Huh.  (Laughs)  What, you bringin' back Rivas?!?
Smith:  Up yours, MacPhail.  We have this Casilla kid.  He's pretty decent.
MacPhail:  Oh.  (Pause)  You mind if we talk about Roberts anyway?
Smith:  (Exhales loudly)  Fine.
MacPhail:  Well, he's a great player, a good offensive guy with a pretty good glove.  Good makeup.  Big part of our team and we'd like to keep him around, but...
Smith:  But you've been leaking trade rumors for the last eight months and now he has to be moved?
MacPhail:  Has it been eight months?  (Silence...MacPhail counts months on fingers)  It's more like ten.  So, what will it take to get this guy into a Twins uniform?
Smith:  I don't know, Andy.  Do we really have to go through this?  I told you we're not looking for a second baseman.
MacPhail:  Plleeeeaaaassse?  Don't make me call the Cubs back again!
Smith:  ...
MacPhail:  Okay, here, I'll start the conversation.  How about...Roberts for Scott Baker, Trevor Plouffe and...Erik Lis?
Smith:  No.
MacPhail:  Okay...how about, Roberts for Nick Blackburn, Danny Valencia aaandd....hey, Alexi Casilla!  That would solve your problems!
Smith:  Yeah.  Okay.  Let's do that.
MacPhail:  REALLY?!?!
Smith:  No.
MacPhail:  DAMMIT!  Fine, you offer something.
Smith:  I'll send you...one stationary bike and a gift certificate to Home Depot for Roberts, and you pay his salary for the next three years.
MacPhail:  That Home Depot is one helluva store, huh?
Smith:  Did Cubs fans run you out of town on a rail?
MacPhail:  Still can't do it, sorry.  What else can you give me?
Smith:  Andy!  Nothing, okay?  Nothing!  We're not interested in Brian Roberts, even if he is a good player.  It's just not a good time right now.  (Hangs up)
MacPhail:  Fine!  Fine!  I'll take your offer!  (Snickers to himself)  Haha, you hung up, you didn't hear me and now you'll never know I said yes!  Heehee...

That's pretty much how I expect that conversation went.

For anyone who's interested, Roberts is 30 (turns 31 in October), and is hitting .290/.372/.469 this season.  While he's a .282/.353/.414 career hitter, since 2005 he's batted .295/.378/.454...which is significantly better as he's been at his physical peak.  Roberts is making $6.3 million this season and $8 million in '09, including a 4-team limited no-trade clause.  He'd be eligible for free agency after the 2009 season.

That's all for now.  See you tonight for the game!

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