Offseason Twins Power Rankings

 

  1. Joe Mauer's contract extension/lack of same.  You need something to stress about over the winter, right?
  2. Joe Nathan's elbow chips.  Keep telling yourself this is the only reason Game 2 turned out the way it did, and that it's all going to be better now.
  3. O-Cab or C-Pav?  Both?  Neither?
  4. The five blissful months where you won't hear John Gordon screw up even the most basic of calls.
  5. The slowly dawning realization that Phil Cuzzi didn't even make the worst call of the playoffs.  Hi, Tim McClellan!  (PS: Cuzzi, you still suck.)
  6. The TwinsCentric Offseason 2009 GM Handbook.  Learn it, know it, live it.
  7. Justin Morneau's broken back.  Don't tell me you're not a little bit worried about this.
  8. Forgetting the horrors of the ALDS and savoring the brilliance of Game 163.
  9. Hoping for Chone Figgins, settling for J.J. Hardy, ending up with Brendexi CaPunto.
  10. Insane optimism that you're talking yourself into.  Current favorite: "2010 is when Delmon Young figures it out!  He was really good those last two weeks!"
  11. Dick Bremer's non-Twins broadcasting efforts.  He just looks so forlorn working a 4th-tier Big Ten men's basketball game.  Deep down, I suspect he knows that he needs that farting, Dutch madman beside him to talk about maintaining downward planes and circling farm wives from Paynesville.
  12. Danny Valencia.  If not him, who?  If not now, when?
  13. Wondering who gets to pay Joe Crede's MRI bills in 2010.
  14. Guessing what form the precipitation will take on Opening Day in Target Field.
  15. Weaning yourself off constantly checking LaVelle or Joe C.'s blog every afternoon for the starting lineups.
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