I was at Sunday's loss to the Indians (0-5 this year, by the way - I'm a curse), and I noticed in the fifth inning that Orlando Cabrera had already accomplished so much in the game - or so little, depending on your point of view. In the first three innings, Cabrera managed to:
- Strike out.
- Hit into a double play
- Commit an error in the field.
Cabrera actually went on to strike out twice, hit into a pair of double plays, and boot two grounders (though he was charged with only one error), which surely must be one of the worst possible performances in one single baseball game.
This got the discussion going: what constitutes the anti-cycle (also known, variously, as the "Crap Cycle" or the "Cycle of Suck")?
In our best judgment, it's certainly a more nebulous feat than a regular cycle. I think Cabrera hit the first three pretty well - strikeout, GIDP, error - but the fourth category is up for discussion.
Eventually, we decided that the fourth category in the anti-cycle should be a wild card, awarded only in the case of special sucking. In our opinion, the following things would complete the anti-cycle. We have helpfully named them, for future reference:
- The Carlos Gomez: Missing a cutoff man by more than 75 feet in any linear direction.
- The Nick Punto: Failing to get a sacrifice bunt down in an important situation.
- The Gomez/Punto Hybrid: Getting picked off a base.
- The Lonnie "Skates" Smith: Any baserunning error so egregious that it lives on forever on blooper reels.
- The Orlando Cabrera. Accomplishing two or more of the three main categories at least twice each.
- The Milton Bradley. Throwing the ball into the stands after the second out.
- The Steve Lyons. Losing and/or dropping one's pants in a public place, such as first base.
- The Delmon Young. Any inathletic play and or act of falling over that leads to multiple extra bases and/or runs.
- The Robin Ventura. Getting your butt kicked in a fight, especially by someone old enough to have grandchildren.
- The Torii Hunter. Getting thrown out by more than 30 feet when trying to take an extra base for no discernible reason, i.e., making an out at home plate while your team is down three runs.
- The Chuck Knoblauch. Any throw in the normal course of play that lands in the stands on the fly.
- The Kent Hrbek. Injuring oneself while attempting a professional wrestling move.
- The Manny Ramirez (Wild Card!) Any other play that defies all sense and logic while simultaneously embarrassing the franchise.
I'm sure you have more options... so suggest away!