Your 2009 Minnesota Twins Fake Twitter Roundup

(Note: don't let the presence of this story restrain you from discussing the Twins' acquisition of Carl Pavano.  Carry on.)

Twitter, the popular social networking service, has definitely caught on in the world of professional athletics.  The Twins, however, have a relatively low presence on the site.    What would happen if the club were to ramp up its "tweeting," you ask?  Well, we think it would look a little like this:

• gogogomez hit ball good last nite but ran full speed into open locker door again OWOWOW :(
• mauerpower when I get home from a game, sometimes I cut loose, butter some bread and watch Jay Leno.
• MVP33 @mauerpower dude, Lenos been off the air for months LOL!
• mauerpower @MVP33 my mom came over and set up my TiVo, so I've been watching reruns.  Jaywalking never gets old!  LOL!
• blylevenHOF @richardbremer, did U get that surprise I left in your car?
• richardbremer @blylevenHOF why would you put dog poo in my passenger's seat?  My wife sat in it!!! :(
• blylevenHOF @richardbremer oh, it wasn't dog poo, just a special delivery from the Dutch Oven!  ROFLMAO!!!!!11!
• richardbremer @blylevenHOF you are an awful human being.
• getafteritgardy anyone know a good nickname for the Swarzak kid?  Leaning to Swarzy, but Zakky might work.
• jcnecklace hey gguys, this is Jesse Crain's necklace.  I've achieved sentient thought.  What up?
• getafteritgardy @jcnecklace  Can U pitch the 7th or 8th in a close one?
• jcnecklace @getafteritgardy of course.  I'm a control pitcher and hit my spots, except for when I don't.
• getafteritgardy @jcnecklace yr in the fold, Necky.
• LNPHustle just saw 1 of my pay stubs.  U guys arent gonna believe how much I make!  GET MONEY GET PAID LNP
• RealBillSmith @LNPHustle money well spent, IMHO.  Keep up the fine work!
• RealBillSmith looking 2 add a back-end rotation starter for stretch, anyone know if Frank Tanana is worth a look?
• getafteritgardy @RealBillSmith you can't be bleeping serious
• RealBillSmith @getafteritgardy U wanted veteran presence, HA!  Besides, guys a winner and hes not on anyones radar.
• getafteritgardy @RealBillSmith that's cuz hes 60 years old!
• RealBillSmith @gardy U said same thing about Tony Batista!  LOL!  Wonder if Tonys available I remember him being good...
• LNPHustle @gardy @RealBillSmith hey guys I can be a spot starter.  Pitched in HS and town ball growing up.   GET MONEY GET PAID LNP
• RealBillSmith @LNPHustle luv that idea, saves $$$ bottom line.  @getafteritgardy Thots?
• getafteritgardy @LNPHustle we need someone who'll pitch to contact and let the guys behind him make plays, can U do that?
• LNPHustle @getafteritgardy U know it!!! GET MONEY GET PAID LNP
• getafteritgardy @LNPHustle go out there and compete, then.
• RealBillSmith @gardy @LNPHustle now that's what I call Twins baseball!