Jamie Quirk Is Trying To Break Your Heart
by RandBall's Stu on Sep 25, 2009 1:00 PM EDT
in Speculation
29 comments
For those unfamiliar, yours truly is not just Twinkie Town's Friday Daddy, but also does some scrappy, Punto-esque work at the Star-Tribune's RandBall sports blog, where I'm tasked with hunting down sports figures from Minnesota's past to see where they are now. My most recent quarry was Jamie Quirk, who 25 years ago this Sunday homered in his only career at-bat for the Cleveland Indians, dashing the playoff dreams of the 1984 Minnesota Twins. Thanks again for ruining my childhood, Ron Davis!
Anyway, it led me to thinking about who was potentially going to play the Jamie Quirk role for the 2009 Twins. My guesses, along with those of the RandBall commentariat are as follows:
- Zack Greinke. He is the best pitcher in baseball. He, not Derek Jeter, should be the name mentioned as competition for Joe Mauer in the MVP race, and should be a mortal lock for the AL Cy Young. After being fortunate enough to duck him the whole season, the Twins draw him twice in the next ten days. That is suboptimal for your favorite team's playoff hopes.
- Curtis Granderson. 77 career games vs the Twins: 14 HR, 34 RBI, OPS of .911. I'm surprised the numbers are that low, to be honest.
- Don Kelly. The defensive replacement who cost the Tigers last Saturday's game. RandBall reader David Minnesota says, "It'll be a fitting karmic [redacted]-kicker when he hits a ninth inning walk-off off Nathan in the fourth game of the series to knock the Twins out of the race."
- Adam Everett. As RandBall regular jamax2 observes, "Adam Everett will ruin not one but two Twins seasons."
- Mark Teahen. becker22, the sharpest RandBall commenter and a proud American, calls the shot: "8:47 p.m. 3 October 2009. Mark Teahen three-run HR off Jesse Crain. Mark it down. I can feel it. Down in my plums. They got a nice bluish hue. I'm getting ready to take them down to the Farmer’s Market."
So, who kills the 2009 Twins dead? A stud like Greinke, the nondescript Everett, or some September call-up that only roger13 has heard of? Speculate away. If it helps, remember that mentioning that player's name jinxes them from actually doing so and leads to a pennant for the Minnesota Twins.
0 recs |
29 comments
Email
Print
Comments
Worst Home Team post in the history of the baseball interwebz
grrrr
by ajmargarine on Sep 25, 2009 1:08 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
Seriously, WTF?
Not have your coffee this morning? Change your handle to DebbieDowner’s Stu.
The season will end when Nathan strikes out Manny in the bottom of the 9th and the Twins sweep the LAD in Game 4.
Jerk.
"Don't take life for granted, because tomorrow isn't promised to any one of us." -Kirby Puckett
"Over? Did you say 'over'? Nothing is over until we decide it is!" -John "Bluto" Blutarsky
by less cowbell, more 'neau on Sep 25, 2009 1:17 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs
but...
he said if you say the name it jinxes them from doing it!
…right?
"But seriously, the banana guy is just sitting there now quietly taking in the game. You can’t do that. You’re either the banana guy or you’re the businessman." -Daniel Louden
by fischean on Sep 25, 2009 1:30 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs
Kind of like the SI cover?
Well, I hope so…but still…
/crosses fingers
"Don't take life for granted, because tomorrow isn't promised to any one of us." -Kirby Puckett
"Over? Did you say 'over'? Nothing is over until we decide it is!" -John "Bluto" Blutarsky
by less cowbell, more 'neau on Sep 25, 2009 1:38 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs
Plums
Thank you. I just happened to be eating a plum when I read that. Gack.
"You're thinking too much. Just have fun." -- Bennie "The Jet" Rodriguez in Sandlot
by cmathewson on Sep 25, 2009 1:10 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
Mark Teahen (jinx? jinx!)...
Hmph. I have no words about him being the ruiner of the Twins season, mostly because I could see it happening in a terrible karma-laughing-at-me sort of way. My severe dislike of him would be justified then, at least.
I will be at the game on Oct. 3…if he’s the one that wrecks it, I might just cry the whole way home. :(
"But seriously, the banana guy is just sitting there now quietly taking in the game. You can’t do that. You’re either the banana guy or you’re the businessman." -Daniel Louden
by fischean on Sep 25, 2009 1:11 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
How valuable to the Twins has this been
Grienke has started 5 times each against the Tigers, White Sox, and Indians, and zero against the Twins.
My answer: Placido Polanco, who goes something like 6-for-13 with 3 walks and 3 doubles in the 4 gamer in Detroit. It’s already making me frustrated.
by Eric in Madison on Sep 25, 2009 1:17 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
Ruined my day
reading that we will face him twice in our six with the Royals. Can’t say I follow their rotation so this was definitely news to me. Damn, looks like we’ll need Chicago to pick up a series win here.
by archie2227 on Sep 25, 2009 1:19 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs
My vote is for Grandserson.
He irritates me more than everyone else. Seems like a meth head really, with all his twitching.
Second vote would be for Bloomquist. (KC) I remember a game earlier in the year where Dick&Bert pumped him up describing him as a “Twins type of a guy” and he played well against us.
Overall, I just see the Royals playing well and the WhiteSux playing crap, and I think that will be the difference.
I always loved that one.
by FoulJack on Sep 25, 2009 1:31 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
Creative, very creative
I thought it was awesome, surprised at the comments so far though.
Very entertaining perspective with a nice gallows humor. Plum comment was great, you have some interesting folks feeding you their posts.
by fineomega on Sep 25, 2009 1:32 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
The most important part of the post:
If it helps, remember that mentioning that player’s name jinxes them from actually doing so and leads to a pennant for the Minnesota Twins.
I do want the Twins to win. Really, I do.
by RandBall's Stu on Sep 25, 2009 2:07 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
In that case
38 Jeremy Bonderman R/R 6-2 220 10/28/82
49 Eddie Bonine R/R 6-5 220 06/06/81
41 Casey Fien R/R 6-2 195 10/21/83
43 Alfredo Figaro R/R 6-0 175 07/07/84
58 Armando Galarraga R/R 6-4 180 01/15/82
36 Edwin Jackson R/R 6-3 210 09/09/83
37 Brandon Lyon R/R 6-1 195 08/10/79
31 Zach Miner R/R 6-3 200 03/12/82
59 Fu-Te Ni L/L 6-0 170 11/14/82
45 Ryan Perry R/R 6-4 200 02/13/87
48 Rick Porcello R/R 6-5 200 12/27/88
50 Clay Rapada R/L 6-5 200 03/09/81
29 Nate Robertson R/L 6-2 225 09/03/77
56 Fernando Rodney R/R 5-11 220 03/18/77
44 Bobby Seay L/L 6-2 235 06/20/78
35 Justin Verlander R/R 6-5 225 02/20/83
53 Jarrod Washburn L/L 6-1 195 08/13/74
Catchers B/T Ht Wt DOB
13 Alex Avila L/R 5-11 210 01/29/87
8 Gerald Laird R/R 6-1 225 11/13/79
55 Dusty Ryan R/R 6-4 220 09/02/84
Infielders B/T Ht Wt DOB
24 Miguel Cabrera R/R 6-4 240 04/18/83
27 Brent Dlugach R/R 6-4 195 03/03/83
4 Adam Everett R/R 6-0 180 02/05/77
19 Aubrey Huff L/R 6-4 235 12/20/76
15 Brandon Inge R/R 5-11 190 05/19/77
14 Placido Polanco R/R 5-10 195 10/10/75
39 Ramon Santiago S/R 5-11 175 08/31/79
Outfielders B/T Ht Wt DOB
28 Curtis Granderson L/R 6-1 185 03/16/81
32 Don Kelly L/R 6-4 190 02/15/80
30 Magglio Ordonez R/R 6-0 215 01/28/74
25 Ryan Raburn R/R 6-0 185 04/17/81
60 Wilkin Ramirez R/R 6-2 190 10/25/85
34 Clete Thomas L/R 5-11 195 11/14/83
Designated Hitters B/T Ht Wt DOB
9 Carlos Guillen S/R 6-1 215 09/30/75
33 Marcus Thames R/R 6-2 220 03/06/77
49 John Bale L/L 6-4 205 05/22/74
19 Brian Bannister R/R 6-2 215 02/28/81
56 Roman Colon R/R 6-6 235 08/13/79
37 Juan Cruz R/R 6-2 165 10/15/78
28 Kyle Davies R/R 6-2 220 09/09/83
41 Lenny DiNardo L/L 6-2 220 09/19/79
40 Kyle Farnsworth R/R 6-4 235 04/14/76
23 Zack Greinke R/R 6-2 190 10/21/83
44 Luke Hochevar R/R 6-5 210 09/15/83
31 Dusty Hughes L/L 5-10 187 06/29/82
54 Anthony Lerew L/R 6-3 220 10/28/82
47 Victor Marte R/R 6-2 265 11/08/80
55 Gil Meche R/R 6-3 215 09/08/78
53 Carlos Rosa R/R 6-1 210 09/21/84
48 Joakim Soria R/R 6-3 204 05/18/84
51 Robinson Tejeda R/R 6-3 250 03/24/82
34 Jamey Wright R/R 6-5 225 12/24/74
57 Yasuhiko Yabuta R/R 6-2 190 06/19/73
Catchers B/T Ht Wt DOB
14 John Buck R/R 6-3 230 07/07/80
21 Miguel Olivo R/R 6-0 230 07/15/78
27 Brayan Pena S/R 5-11 245 01/07/82
Infielders B/T Ht Wt DOB
3 Yuniesky Betancourt R/R 5-10 195 01/31/82
8 Willie Bloomquist R/R 5-11 195 11/27/77
16 Billy Butler R/R 6-2 240 04/18/86
13 Alberto Callaspo S/R 5-9 180 04/19/83
4 Alex Gordon L/R 6-1 220 02/10/84
46 Luis Hernandez S/R 5-10 180 06/26/84
24 Mark Teahen L/R 6-3 210 09/06/81
Outfielders B/T Ht Wt DOB
1 Josh Anderson L/R 6-2 195 08/10/82
9 David DeJesus L/L 6-0 190 12/20/79
35 Mitch Maier L/R 6-2 210 06/30/82
Designated Hitters B/T Ht Wt DOB
17 Mike Jacobs L/R 6-3 215 10/30/80
"You're thinking too much. Just have fun." -- Bennie "The Jet" Rodriguez in Sandlot
by cmathewson on Sep 25, 2009 4:00 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs
Perfectly executed
Breathtaking, honestly.
by RandBall's Stu on Sep 25, 2009 4:11 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs
Home Field Disadvantage
It will come from within, and so many candidates starting with Punto or Alexi or Delmon or Buscher or Liriano or Keppel or Gabino gets an inning or Kubel or Gomez or Cabrera or Cuddyer.
Visit www.TwinsCards.com and check out "rosters" to see my collection!
by rosterman on Sep 25, 2009 2:50 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
Interesting take.
I vote Punto. But I always vote Punto for things like that.
I always loved that one.
by FoulJack on Sep 25, 2009 3:38 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs
Hmmm
That would be some sort of irony – the Twins miss the playoffs when Nick Punto loses a ball in the ceiling in the last game at the Metrodome, allowing the go-ahead run to score.
"There are only two things that are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former." - Albert Einstein
by BeefMaster on Sep 25, 2009 4:21 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs
at that point
Twins would pour onto the field to xxxxxxx to him…
it would be so bad I couldn’t even write what they would do to him…
by caluofmn on Sep 25, 2009 4:51 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs
Here's the answer
Ron Gardenhire. For not playing Carlos Gomez all year, and playing Brendan Harris at shortstop.
http://twinkietalk.com
http://thecollegehockeyblog.com
by fetch9 on Sep 25, 2009 4:05 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
My prediction:
Buscher will not swing at another pitch all season. Lets hope its because Gardy doesn’t give him another at bat.
my floor is looking pretty dirty... BETTER GET OUT THE BROOM!!!
by natetheskate on Sep 25, 2009 4:21 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
cmathewson
You really need to get a hobby so you don’t have so much free time.
by dklien on Sep 25, 2009 4:23 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
it probably took him 9 seconds
to cut and paste two rosters
my floor is looking pretty dirty... BETTER GET OUT THE BROOM!!!
by natetheskate on Sep 25, 2009 4:45 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs
Yes
I didn’t time it, but it was one of my easiest posts of the year.
"You're thinking too much. Just have fun." -- Bennie "The Jet" Rodriguez in Sandlot
by cmathewson on Sep 25, 2009 11:40 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs
I'm just glad Mark Lemke doesn't play ball anymore.
He’d find a way to be that guy. And then my dad would vomit.
by Jesse on Sep 25, 2009 5:01 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
Or Eric Fox
"You're thinking too much. Just have fun." -- Bennie "The Jet" Rodriguez in Sandlot
by cmathewson on Sep 25, 2009 5:08 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs
The link to Ron Davis reminded me
way back in the 80s, when dinosaurs walked the earth, a card shop in Grand Forks had a mint Ron Davis card selling for a dime. A defaced Ron Davis card cost a quarter.
The only stat that counts is W
by wayback on Sep 25, 2009 6:06 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
Jamie Quirk's only career AB for the Indians was an HR?
You could say that is really quirky…
by what_would_gil_thorp_do on Sep 25, 2009 7:19 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
It gets better
Quirk’s AB against the Twins was not his only AB of the season, though he only had four PAs all year long.
It also ended up being Quirk’s second game-winning RBI of the year. His first? An eighth-inning pinch-hit sac fly for the White Sox to beat…the Indians.
by dwintheiser on Sep 27, 2009 3:12 AM EDT up reply actions 0 recs
Comments For This Post Are Closed
Secondary Sidebar
User Tools
FanPosts
Community blog posts and discussion.
Certain photos copyright © 2009 by Associated Press or Getty Images. Any commercial use or distribution without the express written consent of Associated Press and Getty Images is strictly prohibited.
