I'm Only Going to Say this Once, Rubes

by RandBall's Stu on Sep 4, 2009 1:00 PM EDT

As Strib veteran Howard Sinker noted, the reaction to Joe Nathan's Wednesday afternoon core dump was rather untethered. Some choice internet commentary from the piece:

"...one of the easiest hit closers in the game, and also he's way overpaid."
"There need to be stats...for near blown saves."
"That is he (sic) one and only job. And he sucks at it!"

It goes on like that for awhile, including an all caps "TRADE HIM OR CUT HIS SAD...LOOSE" screed that is worthy of a YouTube comment section. The only thing missing was a misspelled demand for Nathan to produce an authentic birth certificate.

Now, it was a horrible, gut-wrenching loss. Nathan has been flirting with disaster for weeks now, and it finally caught up with him and his team at the worst possible time.

However, and I'm going to repeat this because it's so perfectly delusional, "TRADE HIM OR CUT HIS SAD...LOOSE?" Why, no, sir. Do you want to know why? I'll tell you why. Get real close to the screen so you don't miss any of this. I'll type it out so you can easily understand what I'm saying:

DID YOU GROW UP WITH RON DAVIS AS YOUR FAVORITE TEAM'S CLOSER? NO, YOU OBVIOUSLY DIDN'T, BECAUSE YOU WOULDN'T SAY SOMETHING SO GALACTICALLY [REDACTED] STUPID OTHERWISE. DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY SAVES HE BLEW IN 1984? PRETTY MUCH ALL OF THEM. YOU THINK I'M KIDDING? HE MATCHED THE [REDACTED] MAJOR LEAGUE RECORD FOR BLOWN [REDACTED] SAVES THAT YEAR. JOE NATHAN WOULD HAVE TO LET THE OPPOSING TEAM HIT OFF A TEE THE REST OF THE SEASON TO GET WITHIN SPITTING DISTANCE OF 14. AND DO NOT GET ME STARTED ON MIKE TROMBLEY.

OH, AND WHILE YOU'RE AT IT, CAPS LOCK BILL JAMES, WHO IS GOING TO REPLACE HIM? RIDDLE ME THAT! JOSE MIJARES? MATT GUERRIER? ANTHONY SLAMA? COME ON, TELL ME, JUST SO I CAN STOP TYPING TO POINT AT YOU AND LAUGH.

(BY THE WAY, I SEE WHY YOU WENT WITH THE ALL CAPS. THERE'S SOMETHING REALLY CATHARTIC ABOUT THIS. THANK YOU, CRAZY-TALKING DIMWIT!)

Anyway, yes, Joe Nathan is scuffling. He just cost his team a huge game in the thick of a pennant race and needs to turn it around in a hurry. He also notches 35-45 saves every year with an ERA that's usually under 2.00. By any metric except for the all-important "What have you done for me lately?" one, he's an elite closer. You and I are remarkably lucky to have him around.

Have I made myself clear? Good. Carry on with your day.

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There are some very good comments/voices sprikled inside the zany…but the zany is sooo damn zany….

by clutterheart on Sep 4, 2009 1:32 PM EDT reply actions

Well said

If we lose this year’s division by a single game (say), it’s absurd that people will blame that on one Joe Nathan blown save. The Twins this year, sadly, have barely looked good enough to be a .500 team, and when they’ve reached that point, have had difficulty remaining there. The starting pitching has to take the brunt of the responsibility, as this is a 162-game season, and the Twins with the talent they have, and playing in a weak division, have squandered way too many opportunities to take the AL Central by storm. Confident starting pitching can do so much for a team… just look at how well the Giants have done this year, despite lacking some firepower in the batting line-up.

by Twins Limey on Sep 4, 2009 1:42 PM EDT reply actions

I'm not entirely sure how to take this rant

I mean, one of things that’s wrong with the internet is NOT the over-the-top, absurd comments that you are railing against—those are just funny and entertaining. One of the things that IS wrong with the internet is people actually taking such comments seriously, assuming wrongly that they are representative of any serious opinion, and writing long-winded pieces upbraiding such comments and the people who make them.

On the other hand, this could just be a parody of Bill Plaschke or Pat Ruesse or someone, in which case, nice try, but not great execution.

by Eric in Madison on Sep 4, 2009 1:59 PM EDT reply actions

I'm still laughig out loud

because this is so ridiculously funny. My stomach hurts.

by Jesse on Sep 4, 2009 2:05 PM EDT reply actions

I guess we know where you stand on the Nathan issue, eh?

…now back to CMath’s post yesterday. I now have read in several places Gardy’s comments about why Valencia won’t get called up…“he isn’t playing very well.” Way to go Gardy, why not just be quiet and say nothing. But no, he has to cram it down the kids throat or some other place. And this is the kid many feel will be our third baseman next year? No way, not if Gardy and Nick Punto are still around.

But how bad is Valencia doing? At .295Average he is .005 from being in the league’s top 10. Yes, 12 errors is a few to many and he did slump a bit after his torrid start, however, has turned it around with four multi hit games in the last 10. So thanks Mr. Gardenhire, for making another future Twin feel real confident in the organization he plays for.

by roger13 on Sep 4, 2009 2:27 PM EDT reply actions

Nice work Stu.

Since 2004 Nathan has successfully secured 234 wins. He has blown 25 saves. If that does not speak for itself, I don’t understand what argument would change anyone’s mind. Those who would argue that he should be traded, is washed up, or should not be our closer after a 234-25 record are in my mind a lost cause.

I always loved that one.

by FoulJack on Sep 4, 2009 2:43 PM EDT reply actions

Enlightenment no, fodder yes

The Strib blogs have a lot of rubes. But what would the blogosphere be like without rubes? It’s like my Strib letter today. What would my political commentary be like without Michelle Bachmann. She’s a fish in a barrel who’s particularly fun to shoot.

"You're thinking too much. Just have fun." -- Bennie "The Jet" Rodriguez in Sandlot

by cmathewson on Sep 4, 2009 3:23 PM EDT reply actions

I love watching Bachmann

Get ripped a new one on snippets from the Daily Show and Countdown!

by montanatwinsfan on Sep 4, 2009 4:25 PM EDT up reply actions

Politics aside

But Palin/Bachmann 2012 would really be a ratings goldmine and a never ending source of material for Stewart and Colbert.

"Don't take life for granted, because tomorrow isn't promised to any one of us." -Kirby Puckett
"No, you don't understand It’s a metaphor for A SERIES SWEEP!!!!!!!" -natethejinx

by less cowbell, more 'neau on Sep 4, 2009 4:59 PM EDT up reply actions

Oh man...can you even imagine?

They’d have to turn their shows into hour long episodes to cover everything…

by fischean on Sep 4, 2009 5:08 PM EDT up reply actions

I would get cable

Just for that alone!

"Don't take life for granted, because tomorrow isn't promised to any one of us." -Kirby Puckett
"No, you don't understand It’s a metaphor for A SERIES SWEEP!!!!!!!" -natethejinx

by less cowbell, more 'neau on Sep 4, 2009 5:13 PM EDT up reply actions

it would definitely be entertaining…in that scary kind of way. Haha

by fischean on Sep 4, 2009 5:16 PM EDT up reply actions

Great letter, sir.

by RandBall's Stu on Sep 4, 2009 6:50 PM EDT up reply actions

As someone

who no longer lives in Minnesota, can I tell you how hard it is to constantly explain how that whacko gets elected every two years? It is like people hold me personally responsible even though I haven’t voted in the state in over 11 years.

by wcooley on Sep 5, 2009 8:42 AM EDT up reply actions

It is a mystery

They showed scenes of the town hall meeting hosted by her on health care and there were more of her supporters there than anyone. I don’t know what’s happened to this country. I heard some of their comments, and I just can’t believe the level of ignorance from grown men, presumably educated by our fine system. “Barack Obama is spreading his socialist propaganda across America!!!”

Remember when these same people accused Bush critics of treason? That was for reasoned criticism, such as the claim that the Iraq war would cost this county $3 trillion and 5,000 American lives. Obama’s the President of the United States. To call what he says “socialist propaganda” and to call for a “revolution” to overthrow the “socialist government” as Bachmann has repeatedly done, really is treason.

"You're thinking too much. Just have fun." -- Bennie "The Jet" Rodriguez in Sandlot

by cmathewson on Sep 6, 2009 12:04 AM EDT up reply actions

THANK YOU!

Knock the sense back into the anti-Nathan people! That loss sucked pretty hard, but could you imagine that happening at least once a week like it does to the Nationals and 3-4 other teams?

by Eric J. Thompson on Sep 4, 2009 3:41 PM EDT reply actions

The "Trade Nathan" crowd

I can’t speak for other areas of the blogosphere (TwinkieTown is 90% of my Twins blogosphere time), but the “Trade Nathan” sentiment here hasn’t been knee-jerk – the big thread here was started a day or two before the meltdown, and it was purely a value proposition, with the thinking that he gets paid a ton of money and would likely net the Twins a hefty bounty in trade. I think pretty much everyone is in agreement that he’s the best closer the Twins have ever had and that they’re a better team with him than without him; however, there can be legitimate discussion about whether paying him $12 million a year is the best use of the Twins’ resources.

I personally think that closers in general are overvalued, but I don’t think trading Nathan makes sense. The Twins are in “win now” mode, so they would want player in return who could contribute immediately, but it’s difficult to acquire quality major league-ready talent from teams in contention, and teams that are rebuilding have no need for a high-priced closer, so it’d be very difficult to find a suitable trade partner.

"There are only two things that are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former." - Albert Einstein

by BeefMaster on Sep 4, 2009 4:51 PM EDT reply actions

WELL SAID RANDBALL STU

So far this year we’ve had Bench Mauer, Mauer – Not Mr Clutch, Fire Gardy, Less-neau (Which I take personally), and now, Trade Nathan. I’M AS MAD AS HELL, AND I’M NOT GOING TO TAKE THIS ANYMORE! I <3 ALL CAPS!

"Don't take life for granted, because tomorrow isn't promised to any one of us." -Kirby Puckett
"No, you don't understand It’s a metaphor for A SERIES SWEEP!!!!!!!" -natethejinx

by less cowbell, more 'neau on Sep 4, 2009 5:10 PM EDT reply actions

hahaha

by fischean on Sep 4, 2009 5:15 PM EDT up reply actions

I keep expecting to hear Hartmans show theme after I read that quote.

I always loved that one.

by FoulJack on Sep 4, 2009 6:10 PM EDT up reply actions

what's with the dunce cap

over the boobies?

by montanatwinsfan on Sep 4, 2009 7:51 PM EDT up reply actions

While I'm generally glad to have Nathan backing the squad

in the 9th inning, I do think some lamentation—and scrutiny—of his blown saves is appropriate.

You can run the numbers and show us his rank in all these specific categories, but let’s go back to last year. RNC is in town and the hired help is busy busting heads on the streets of St. Paul. The Twins hit the road for like 21 days or something.

If memory serves Nathan blew a save in Seattle, Oakland, LAA and Toronto, in one fashion or another. Now, shit happens and MLB hitters are pretty damn good. But, the Twins are and were a weak road team. They need a win when they have a chance to get one, especially on the road. When they lose games they should have won, it throws the balance of being a good baseball team out of whack. And, in any case, end of game meltdowns are hard to repair, psychologically at least.

This year, it was in NYC. First game of four, Twins looking for some confidence. Bottom of the 9th and Melky milks a hit to win the game with two out. They go on to get swept. I believe Nathan walked at least one in that inning.

Now, no one is saying that Nathan is responsible for getting swept in NYC or made last year’s road trip a disaster. But, we do need to bear in mind that a better performance by Nathan in crucial situations makes a .500 team something more. And so far, the Twins are nothing more than a .500 team.

In the final analysis, whatever his percentage of saves versus opportunities, ERA, WHIP or SO per inning, Nathan finds some pretty poor times to implode.

by Old Twins Cap on Sep 4, 2009 6:42 PM EDT reply actions

I think it's the nature of the beast.

If beast = The Closer. Anytime you have The Closer blowing it, it’s a poor time, because generally that means the team has gone from winning to losing.

by Jesse on Sep 5, 2009 8:05 AM EDT up reply actions