BREAKING: Somehow, Jay Mariotti Gets Even More Insufferable

Blyleven's PHG/R (Percentage of Hotfoots Given to Received) remains the best of all non-Hall inductees.

Now that everyone's had a chance to vent about our favorite poop joke enthusiast coming this close to his rightful place in Cooperstown, let's pick at the scab and complain some more!  I think you'll agree, however, that it's worth the pain.

Jay Mariotti, as you many know, is a regular on Sports Shouting Around the Horn, where he bloviates with the subtlety of a jackhammer and the precise wit of...also a jackhammer.  In addition, the former Chicago Sun-Times columnist has a perch at Fanhouse, is despised by Roger Ebert and possesses a Hall of Fame vote.  It's the latter honor that's my focus today.

You see, Mariotti submitted a blank ballot this year.  Now, you may be saying to yourself, "Well, maybe he decided that none of this year's candidates were worthy of induction.  It's not the path I would have taken, but it's defensible."  Indeed, this was his reasoning:

"I didn’t vote for anybody in the baseball hall of fame this year. Ya know why? To me…the first ballot is sacred. I think Roberto Alomar is an eventual Hall of Famer, not the first time. Edgar Martinez, designated hitter, eventually, but not the first time. Same goes for maybe Fred McGriff. As far as Blyleven and Dawson…if they haven’t gotten in for years and years I cannot vote them in now."

The whole "first ballot" nonsense notwithstanding (count me among those who says a player is either worthy or is not worthy), would it surprise you to learn that Mariotti voted for Andre Dawson, Bert Blyleven AND Jim Rice (in his 15th year of eligibility) last year?  Of course it wouldn't!  It's Jay Mariotti!  He's just making him more famous!

To recap: if you haven't gotten in for years and years, Jay Mariotti can't vote for you. Except for when he does. 

Greater baseball minds than I have already expressed their befuddlement at this, but suffice it to say, you have to feel bad for Bert that his HOF fate lies in the hands of lurkers like this.

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