Don’t you dare fire Gardy!

I can’t believe how many people here want to fire Gardy. I normally really respect the baseball knowledge thrown around here but it’s like everyone is taking Crazy Pills! Because none of you seem to have enough common sense to understand that Gardy is one of the greatest baseball managers in history, let me break it down for you.

One – The Minnesota Twins play in the AL Central, not the West or the East. They play in the AL Central, which the Twins won! The Twins are already # 1, what more do you freaking hyenas want!?!? I mean hello! The Twins win the AL Central like all the time! They are already Champions, AL Central Champions. No one even remembers who wins the World Series. That’s another thing, World Series…last I checked one team from Canada does not make the world. I’d rather have a legit championship like the AL Central and not win some sham title.

Two – Last I checked Gardy does not actually play in these games. Why don’t you people yell to fire the players who actually lost the games!?!? What the heck did Gardy do? Nothing, exactly what he did for all those wins you all seem to be ignoring. Does Gardy pitch, hit, or field? Why are you trying to pin all these loses on him? Gardy is under contract to do two things. Sit on a bench during Twins games and hand out gifts to good girls and boys every December 25th. So check yourselves before you wreck yourselves.

Three – And maybe the hardest thing for you in the Fire Gardy crowd, it’s not Gardy that’s calling the shots, it’s that pretty boy Mauer. Who’s calling the games? Mauer… who’s batting third? Mauer… who’s spending all his time Marlin fishing in Mexico with Sony executives? MAUER! Not Gardy, not your scapegoat. Maybe if he spent less time man sculpting his sideburns and whatever else he’d hit better. Look up Mauer in the dictionary and you know what it says? Mauer – 1. a weak groundball to the second baseman. I could go on but I’m going to end this with FREE BUTTERS!

I’m sorry to come on so strong here. I have a lot of respect for this community but sometimes you have to take a stand and fight injustice. None of this is Gardy’s fault. N-O-N-E, none. You should all count your blessings we have Gardy as our manager. He’s better than any other manager the Minnesota Twins have ever had. I hope no feelings have been hurt. I had to drop this knowledge on y’all because I care. So when you see Gardy at next years fanfest make sure you tell that man thank you.