I don't really see why people are having so much trouble coming up offseason moves the Twins can make. It's really simple if you think about it. Observe:
Free Agent Signings
This is where the Twins can make a splash and show that we're really playing with the big teams now.
Sign Cliff Lee
Bam! Take that Yankees! Oh yeah! And we're just getting started:
Sign Carl Crawford
If we are worried about our outfield defense, signing Crawford goes a long way towards fixing that. Next up:
Sign Jayson Werth
Fulfills our needs for RH power bat and homeless man all in one. Not done yet though:
Sign Mariano Rivera
Here's our closer in case Nathan isn't 100%. About halfway through our free agents now:
Sign Rafael Soriano
More closer insurance. Leading to:
Sign Carl Pavano
He has a secret role yet to be revealed... But we're just getting started:
Sign JIM THOME
He needs to hit #600 as a Twin, enough said. And we can bring back one of his old teammates:
Sign Manny Ramirez
He will also fill a position of need, as I don't intend to bring back JJ Hardy. Finally:
He seems like a versatile utility helicopter that should be able to play any position on or above the field.
Judging by the free agents, we're going all out. So let's make some trades to round things off.
Since we're signing Crawford and Werth, they probably need an OF. I bet Cuddyer + unnamed prospects gets this done.
We all know the Mariners need offense. Kubel + prospects is enough.
The Royals always seem to have really sucky managers. So let's kill two birds with one stone. TRADE GARY to the Royals!
I figure they probably miss Brendan Harris, so we'll trade Harris + prospects.
Nick Blackburn is from Oklahoma. He can probably see Texas from his house. I bet that's enough to pique the Rangers' interest. Blackburn + prospects and it's a deal.
For some reason they must want Glen Perkins, right? Let's imagine they do. Perkins + prospects finishes off our trades.
Sign LNP as team mascot. He'll have to compete with TC Bear in spring training but I think he can win out in the end.
Pavstache replaces Gary as manager. The stache will motivate this team to win like nothing else!
Offseason surgery separates conjoined twins/Twins Demon Young and Elmon Young. Elmon gets DFA'd. Demon gets extended.
C - Joe Mauer
1B - Justin Morneau
2B - Chase Utley
SS - Manny Ramirez
3B - Evan Longoria
DH - Demon Young
OF - Jayson Werth
OF - Carl Crawford
OF - Josh Hamilton
Bench - Ben Zobrist
Bench - Jim Thome
Bench - Airwolf
Bench - Sweet Drew Butera (as if Pavstache as manager would ever allow someone else as backup)
SP - Roy Halladay
SP - Cliff Lee
SP - Felix Hernandez
SP - Francisco Liriano
SP - Zack Greinke
RP - Joe Nathan
RP - Mariano Rivera
RP - Neftali Feliz
RP - Rafael Soriano
RP - Joakim Soria
RP - Brian Wilson
RP - David Aaaaaaaaaaardsma
Mascot - LNP
Manager - Pavstache
Total Salary - The Pohlads decide to pay for everything so the Twins can win, so salary is not an issue.
Total Formatting of this article - Very little.
This really isn't that hard. This team is a clear upgrade, it is within salary considerations, and we don't give up any star prospects. Case closed.
LNP as team mascot is:
Brilliant (76 votes)
Deranged (26 votes)
UnBEARable (no more TC!) (34 votes)
Gritty (86 votes)
A sign of the apocalypse (61 votes)
283 total votes