It's Christmas And There's No News, So Let's Pretend I'm Larry King

I'll tell you, this blogging thing: not as easy as it looks... Tsuyoshi Nishioka looks like the kind of guy who'd own fifty belt buckles, but wear sweatpants every day... If there's one guy that really makes the Twins organization go, it's the guy who makes the Tony O's Cuban Sandwiches in the upper deck... That guy goes down, the whole ballclub loses something, mark my words... Carl Pavano smokes cigarettes between innings and nobody can tell me different...

Fads come and fads go, but fedoras will always add ten years to your age... I see no use for key lime pie... I don't know much for sure, but I'm pretty sure that Ron Gardenhire called up Nick Punto last week and asked him to start taking a few balls behind the plate, just so he can be the backup catcher next year... Kudos to those folks in Washington, they're really doing a heck of a job spending that money that they might conceivably have at one point somewhere down the line... That's about the Nationals, by the way...

I really think the Twins could bring in some money by playing a couple games every year in Winnipeg... Those are folks that really love their baseball, and their whiskey, and not always in that order... Either these suspenders are on too tight, or this shirt's on inside out... I have to imagine that the same people who make plain sugar cookies for Christmas are the kind of people who find vanilla "a little too spicy"...

I might be alone, but after seeing that TCF Bank Stadium on TV for the Vikings game - that stadium would work for baseball... Insider alert: Justin Morneau is telling people that he's "certain" he will walk again, maybe even play baseball... Ice girls in hockey give me the creeps, but put those same girls on rollerblades and put them on the grounds crew - heaven... If mustard on hot dogs was good enough for William Howard Taft, it should be good enough for all of us - put that ketchup away, people...

I once interviewed Joe Mauer... Now there's a guy that either has something to hide, or is the blandest human being on the planet... I bet he takes cold showers in the morning, just so he's not showing off... Gun to my head: pecan over pumpkin, every time... Say what you want about the drug wars, but those folks in Mexico sure make a good automobile... If Jesse Crain doesn't subscribe to "Guns & Ammo" magazine, then I'm not the judge of character I thought I was...

This has been fun... Enjoy the end of your Christmas, everyone, and here's to a Happy New Year... and let me leave you with this: third barstool from the left of the Dallas-Fort Worth airport Applebee's. Ask for the quesadilla and tell them I sent you. I guarantee you're in for a delicious time.