Lots of hot stove action, hardly any time for talking mustaches and pyromaniac backup catchers, LET'S GO:
Jason Repko: SIGNED. One year, $600,000. Everyone's favorite back-up outfielder, Nick Nelson's stealth MVP. I don't think anyone has a problem with this.
Pat Neshek: SIGNED. One year, $625,000. Everyone's favorite local guy with a funky delivery. I have to assume they're banking on him regaining his pre-Tommy John form in his second season following the procedure.
- Almost literally everyone else (26 in all, including J.J. Hardy, Matt Capps, Glen Perkins, etc.): TENDERED.
- The exception being Clay Condrey: HE GONE. Leave your favorite Clay Condrey moments in the comments. It's a tough day for all of us, but try to keep your emotions in check.
- Jim Thome: NOT RETIRING. The Strib's Joe Christensen talked to his agent, who confirmed that the beloved masher of taters will return for the the 2011 season, and that they have talked to Bill Smith and unspecified "other teams." Read the whole thing.
- Adam Dunn: LOOMING. Dunn is expected to sign a 4-year, $56 million deal with the hated White Sox today, pending a physical. Great signing by them, yes? There is a very good chance he hits a home run off Scott Baker that travels far enough to turn back time, like Superman in the first Superman movie or Cher in that one video on the aircraft carrier. It's science, jerks. You can look it up.
- A. J. Pierzynski: LINGERING. The Whities kept him around to the tune of two years, $8 million.
- Bobby Jenks, George Sherrill, Jack Cust: NON-TENDERED. MLB Trade Rumors has a rundown of all yesterday's non-tenders. Any interest in the three mentioned here for the Twins? I don't know why I like Jack Cust; perhaps it's because I like saying "Jack Cust."
- Rob Neyer: SPEAKS FOR ALL OF US. As he Tweeted, learn the difference between "resign" and "re-sign." It's really not that difficult, and the hyphen is overrated.