A Day in the Life of Little Nicky Punto

It was a wise person who first called him "Little Nicky Punto." It's the perfect silly nickname for the shortest (and lightest-hitting) Twin. Punto is really the Minnesota Scrappy-Doo.

Nevertheless, it is possible to carry the nickname a bit too far, and start imagining a childish, five-year-old version of Little Nicky Punto, and what it might be like if the nickname came true. Like....

...

4:30  - Wake up. Loose daily primal scream. (Getting after it knows no time of day, even if it wakes the dog, mom and dad, and the neighbors.)

4:35 - Call Gardy. He's not picking up, like every morning, but now he knows that SOMEBODY was up. And getting after it.

4:40 - Sprint to kitchen. Miss turn and crash through patio doors. Throw batting gloves in disgust.

4:45 - Mistakenly pick up blanky. Get sleepy.

4:50 - Get ride to school. Fall asleep in backseat of car. Too cute to wake up. Even to get after it.

7:30 - Gently shaken awake by mom.

7:31 - Battle tail off.

7:32 - Remember to get out of car first.

7:45 - Batting practice. Gardy throws underhand from ten feet away, like usual. Accept effusive praise whenever the ball meets the bat.

8:15 - JUICE BOX JUICE BOX JUICE BOX

8:30 - Workout time. Battle tail off AND get after it. (Careful not to sprain effort gland again.)

10:30 - Bath time. Denied rubber ducky by Scott Ullger. Pout. Splash extra water on the floor.

12:00  - Lunchtime! Joe and Justin say that every spot at their table is "taken" again. Sit alone. Eat faster than anyone else. (Stomachaches are a sign that one is getting after it.)

12:05 - Sprint out onto playground for recess. Dive headfirst into slide.

12:15 - Sprint back out onto playground after patching up from nice nurse. Dive headfirst, this time into sandbox.

12:16 - Commence dirtying uniform. Those who truly give 110% are identified by dirty uniforms.

1:00 - Back inside. Time for film study. Gardy asks for a volunteer to run the projector. Raise hand. Since hand is unable to be seen over bigger boys in the front of the room, stand halfway up out of the desk and wave arm wildly while shouting "OOH! OOH! PICK ME!"

1:15 - Thread film backward through projector. Knock over desk. Accidentally set scouting report on fire with projector lamp. Accept effusive praise from Gardy for "really going out there and getting after it."

3:00 - Milk break. Sprint to cooler to get to chocolate first.

3:05 - Covered in milk from totally unnecessary dive into cooler. Still worth it.

3:10 - Offered high five from Jon Rauch. Can't... quite... reach... lots of jumping...

3:15 - Finally manage to grab Jon's arm and pull it down within high-five reach. Swing and miss, of course.

4:30 - ICE CREAM MAN ICE CREAM MAN

5:00 - Time to mow Gardy's lawn! Sprint home to get lawnmower. Forget to read traffic signs and end up four streets away from home.

5:30 - Finally make it to Gardy's. End up mowing wrong lawn and also killing two flowerbeds. Gardy promises a quadrupling of pay for next time.

6:00 - Hide in special hiding place before dinner. Imagine world where everybody is 5'2" and those who are 5'9" are giants who are loved and respected.

9:00 - Fall asleep while watching favorite show - "This Week in Baseball" reruns from 1989.

9:05 - Carried to bed. Tomorrow's another big day.

9:10 - Battle tail off.