Nick Punto Reports to Fort Myers

FLORIDA - Minnesota Twins superstar Nick Punto made quite a splash has he reported to Spring Training Camp in Fort Myers, Florida. The diminutive infielder, variously described by his manager Ron Gardenhire as "plucky", "battling",  "scrappy", and "little" reported ran the length of the Mississippi River after ignoring a sign from Third Base Coach Scotty Ullger that in fact, spring training was not going to be held in Minnesota. Punto's race along the length of the river at times broke the speed of sound, making an interview with Punto difficult if not impossible. The sonic booms were so loud that some asked if Justin Morneau was taking batting practice. Upon reaching New Orleans, it looked like Punto would have to alter his course to reach the team's Fort Myer's practice facility. But that wasn't in the mind of the indomitable mite as he launched himself into the Gulf and slid on his belly all the way to Florida. Reports say three of the Florida Keys disappeared in the resulting tsunami.

Gardenhire praised Punto for "battling his tail off" to make it to spring training, but noted there were still two weeks before camp started so Punto had plenty of time to arrange more traditional transportation.