Was Punto on Steroids?

We all hear about good players taking steroids. Barry Bonds hits 5 consecutive 73 home runs and we all think he used steroids. But what about players we don't think are very good? We never think they used steroids. The result is a conspiracy of silence that leaves young people who are also not very good at baseball unaware of the true impact of steroids.

But there is "evidence" that another Twins hero used steroids. I expect this revelation to rock the Twins blogosphere like no other. Even better, it will make everyone talk about me, and bring lots of people to my blog.

What is the evidence of Nick Punto's steroid use? First, the numbers. Look at the difference from 2007 to 2008.  In 2007 Punto hit 1 HR and had a BA of .210.  But in 2008 at the age of 31, Punto hit double the number of home runs!  And his batting average jumped 74 points! In a single season, Punto went from Scrappy Doo to Scooby Doo!

There is also photo evidence of Punto using steroids.  Keep in mind, Punto doesn't take performance enhancing drugs (PEDs) like other players do.  Punto takes grit enhancing drugs (GEDs) instead.

This photo is clear evidence of Punto taking steroids.  His grit-enhancing drugs made him so hungry that he started eating bats!  Bats! If that isn't evidence of steroids I don't know what is.

And here we have even more even of Punto's steroid use.  He is normally a scrappy player. But after taking his GEDs, he became so scrappy that instead of diving for the ball, he began to fly. Here he is, hovering in flight with a gritty expression.

Of course that doesn't "prove" that Punto used steroids, just like Bonds being awesome didn't prove he used steroids. Punto's fans will use that in his defense. To use a cliched analogy, unlike Kirby Puckett's life, Nick Punto's life is not like a classic Greek tragedy.

But Punto's life is just like Hamlet.  In the end, Punto's need for revenge will get the best of him, and then Matt Tolbert will become King of Denmark.