Johan who?

In their first encounter with former staff ace Johan Santana, now of the New York Metropolitans, the Twins tagged him for five runs and nine hits in 3 1/3 innings, on their way to a 7-3 victory. 

Heroes

Danny Valencia (2-for-4, solo home run off Santana)

Wilson Ramos (2-for-3, solo home run off Santana)

Brendan Harris  (2-for-4, two-run double that chased Santana)

Matt Tolbert (2-for-3 with a double, pushing his average all the way up to .174)

Jason Kubel and his beard (2-for-4 with a double)

Kevin Slowey (3 IP, 1 ER, 2 BB, 2K, worked out of a bases-loaded jam in the 3rd)

Timothy Olyphant (plays the lead in FX's Justified, which is awesome and re-airs tonight at 10:00 Central)

Zeroes

Delmon Young (0-for-3)

Pat Neshek (1 IP, 1 ER, 1 H, 2 BB, 2 K)

The Minnesota Gophers Men's Basketball team in the 2nd half of their game against Xavier (can't shoot, can't stop Jordan Crawford, can't advance)