If  before Opening Day at Target Field, unannounced Joe Mauer stood in front of home plate and humbly addressed the fans.

His voice echoing throughout Target Field stilling the crowd, families at home stopping to watch their televisions. Moms and Dads hushing their kids, cats and dogs lying still while Joe spoke into the microphone. “Today, I consider myself the luckiest man on earth. I am here to thank all of you for making it possible for me to remain a Minnesota Twin for the rest of my career.”

“You’ll find your offertory envelope under your seats, please give what you can. For all of you who are season ticket holders. Please look for your box of offertory envelopes on the tables by Target Plaza and remember to please make sure you take the box with your correct number.”

“Finally, the Twins Men’s Club will be hosting their first annual Poker Night with a 75% cut going to pay for my contract. The Twins hope you consider attending.”

“Now Let Us Play…”

Hey Joe Mauer, if you’re reading this, when the heck you are going to finally sign the contract. No really…sign already…Please…

Go Twins!