Joe Mauer is 27 years old today!
One assumes that he probably bought himself his own birthday present this year, perhaps something on the order of his own Caribbean island, or a fleet of 31 cars from Mauer Chevrolet (one for each day of the month, of course).
I'm sure the rest of the clubhouse pitched in to get him a Jimmy John's gift card, though. And Justin Morneau probably baked him a maple-flavored cake.
(I'd say he deserves more, but with the city of Minneapolis already erecting 50 statues of the guy to go along with his gigantic new contract, he's probably set on the money and glory fronts.)