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Report: Gardy Stepping Down as Manager!

In a stunning move, Ron Gardenhire has announced that he will be resigning as manager as the Minnesota Twins. When asked why, it is to follow another ambition of his.

"While I love baseball, choir has always been a passion of mine," Gardy said. "Thanks to all my years of managing I now have enough capital to start my own men's choir."

Bill Smith at the press conference said, "We wish Gardy luck in his new musical career. While we are surprised by this announcement we are fully prepared and have found and hired Gardy's replacement. The next manager of the Minnesota Twins..."

 

 

KING LEONIDAS!

At the press conference King Leonidas delivered this rousing message to the press.

" Emperor Selig plans to send his 29 armies out to destroy us. WE WILL NOT LET THIS HAPPEN! WE ARE HISTORY'S GREATEST WARRIORS! WE SHALL OVERCOME THOSE 29 ARMIES AND TAKE WHAT IS RIGHTFULLY OURS FROM EMPEROR SELIG!

One reporter blurted out that this was madness. Leonidas" response: "THIS ISN'T MADNESS THIS IS TWINS TERRITORY." Leonidas then proceeded to kick the offending reporter into the newly constructed pit of death.

Reactions from the players are best described as mixed.

Jim Thome was quoted: BIG JIM WILL KEEP MASHING TATERS FOR THE KINGED SPARTAN MANAGER.

Nick Punto, on the other hand immediately opted out of his contract so he could join Gardy's choir. He was immediately named starting tenor.

Jason Kubel was quoted: Dude has some serious beardage.

Reactions from the media have also been mixed.

Buster Olney of ESPN: "A new manager huh? While that does sound interesting we are not allowed to report on it because it does not involve the Yankees or Red Sox. Sorry."

Jim Souhan: "If the Twins have a losing season, then this will be a bad move, but if the Twins have a winning season, then this will be a good move."


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