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THE Breakdown of the Past Decade in the AL Central

The following is my half assed attempt to break down the AL Central over the past decade (2001-2010). For those of you that don’t know what a decade is, quit reading this post, and go back to coloring. If at any point while reading this post you find yourself thinking, "the guy who wrote this might be retarded," that’s not very nice but is actually understandable.  Also, if you find yourself getting offended at all, suck it.

 

White Sox:

  2006_05_sports_barrett_pierzynski_medium

RECORD

Decade Total Playoff Total

 

850-771 with 2 playoff berths

12-4 with 1 World Series Title

 

RECORD VS

Royals

Twins

Tigers

Indians

 

116-69

80-106

110-76

99-87

 

ATTENDANCE

Total

Highest

Lowest

Average

 

19,934,142

2,957,414

1,676,911

~2M

 

TEAM SALARY

Total

Highest

Lowest

Average

 

$801,910,862

$121,189,332

$51,010,000

~$80.2M

 

AWARDS

MVPs

CYs

RofYs

MofYs

All Stars

 

0

0

0

O.Guillen

 

24

 

BEST

Position Player

Pitcher

Manager

 

P.Konerko-22.9 WAR

 

M.Buehrle-42.3 WAR

O.Guillen

 

DRAFT

Total WAR

Best Draft Player WAR

 

15.8 WAR

R.Sweeny 5.2 WAR

 

BA TOP 100

Appearances

Different Players

Total WAR

 

28

21

77.4 WAR

 

If the White Sox of the 2000s were a band they would be U2. Old as dirt, full of douche bags, have a front man who talks more then the sea cows from The View, but sure know how to perform on the big stage. They are the only team from the AL Central to win a World Series championship and I’m sure it was a ‘Beautiful Day’ for their fans.

 

Tigers:

 Jim

RECORD

Decade Total Playoff Total

 

731-890 with 1 playoff berths

8-5 with 1 World Series Appearance

 

RECORD VS

Royals

Twins

White Sox

Indians

 

91-94

73-113

76-110

87-98

 

ATTENDANCE

Total

Highest

Lowest

Average

 

22,608,725

3,202,645

1,503,623

~2.3M

 

TEAM SALARY

Total

Highest

Lowest

Average

 

$822,827,409

$137,685,196

$46,353,554

~$82.3M

 

AWARDS

MVPs

CYs

RofYs

MofYs

All Stars

 

0

0

J.Verlander

J.Leyland

22

 

BEST

Position Player

Pitcher

Manager

 

C. Guillen-19.5 WAR

Verlander-18.7 WAR

 

J.Leyland

 

DRAFT

Total WAR

Best Draft Player WAR

 

54.3 WAR

Curtis Granderson 21.3 WAR

 

BA TOP 100

Appearances

Different Players

Total WAR

 

20

17

61.4 WAR

 

If the Tigers of the 2000s were a comedian they would be Dane Cook. People always saying how amazing they are but after you see them live, because a friend gives you a free ticket and you say "why the heck not I have nothing better to do", after five minutes you are looking for the nearest light socket so you can shove any exterior body part into it to off yourself. Even though they are so freaking overrated they still made it to the top of their industry, Dane Cook being able to make out with Jessica Alba and the Tigers making it to the World Series, but in the end leave you Waiting…for it all to just be over.

 

Indians:

 Cleveland-indians-fans_medium

RECORD

Decade Total Playoff Total

 

795-825 with 2 playoff berths

8-8 with 0 World Series Appearances

 

RECORD VS

Royals

Twins

Tigers

White Sox

 

101-84

92-94

98-87

87-99

 

ATTENDANCE

Total

Highest

Lowest

Average

 

20,952,182

3,175,523

1,391,644

~2.1M

 

TEAM SALARY

Total

Highest

Lowest

Average

 

$635,373,928

$91,974,979

$34,569,300

~$63.5 M

 

AWARDS

MVPs

CYs

RofYs

MofYs

All Stars

 

0

C.Lee

Sabathia

 

0

E.Wedge

18

 

BEST

Position Player

Pitcher

Manager

 

G.Sizemore- 27.9 WAR

 

C.C. Sabathia-28.2

WAR

E.Wedge

 

DRAFT

Total WAR

Best Draft Player WAR

 

59.6 WAR

Jermy Guthrie 14.6 WAR

 

BA TOP 100

Appearances

Different Players

Total WAR

 

38

29

199.3 WAR

 

If the Indians of the 2000s were an actor they would be Jeff Goldblum. In the 90s they were hot shit, 97 was amazing, but now you don’t even know if they are alive.  I know his career died with the movie Holy Man but seriously is Jeff Goldblum dead? I guess it could be worse; they could be Macauley Culkin (aka the Royals).

 

Royals:

 50376492_medium

RECORD

Decade Total Playoff Total

 

662-958 with 0 playoff berths

NONE

 

RECORD VS

White Sox

Twins

Tigers

Indians

 

69-116

68-118

94-91

84-101

 

ATTENDANCE

Total

Highest

Lowest

Average

 

15,653,606

1,797,891

1,323,036

~1.6M

 

TEAM SALARY

Total

Highest

Lowest

Average

 

$523,740,043

$72,267,710

$35,643,000

~$52.4M

 

AWARDS

MVPs

CYs

RofYs

MofYs

All Stars

 

0

Z.Greinke

A.Berroa

T.Pena

11

 

BEST

Position Player

Pitcher

Manager

 

D. DeJesus-21.7 WAR

Z.Greinke 22.8 WAR

T.Pena

 

DRAFT

Total WAR

Best Draft Player WAR

 

35.6 WAR

Zack Greinke 22.8 WAR

 

BA TOP 100

Appearances

Different Players

Total WAR

 

25

17

33.9 WAR

 

If the Royals of the 2000s were a movie they would be every movie that stared Jaime Kennedy. A disaster, but somehow still have a fan base who will show their faces in public. Watching the Royals play is like watching ‘Kicking it Old School’, not only a waste of time and money, but could have been avoided if someone would have pulled the plug 20 years ago.

 

Twins:

 Minnesota-twins_dw__177345g_medium

RECORD

Decade Total Playoff Total

 

888-733 with 6 playoff berths

6-21 with 0 World Series Appearances

 

RECORD VS

Royals

White Sox

Tigers

Indians

 

116-69

106-80

113-73

94-92

 

ATTENDANCE

Total

Highest

Lowest

Average

 

22,122,855

3,223,640

1,782,929

~2.2M

 

TEAM SALARY

Total

Highest

Lowest

Average

 

$584,906,706

$97,559,167

$24,350,000

~$58.5M

 

AWARDS

MVPs

CYs

RofYs

MofYs

All Stars

 

Mauer

Morneua

Santana x2

 

 

0

R.Gardy

24

 

BEST

Position Player

Pitcher

Manager

 

J.Mauer- 38.7 WAR

J.Santana- 31.6 WAR

R.Gardy

 

DRAFT

Total WAR

Best Draft Player WAR

 

97.8 WAR

Joe Mauer 38.7 WAR

 

BA TOP 100

Appearances

Different Players

Total WAR

 

41

24

102.3 WAR

 

If the Twins of the 2000s were a disorder they would be premature ejaculation. Having no problem getting to the chosen land but once there it is over before it starts. Leaving everyone involved embarrassed, disappointed, and thinking if it was really worth it. The only people who get any enjoyment out of it are the people who get to make fun of you till the next time it happens. 

 

Decade Breakdown:

Each team from the AL Central has their own claims to fame from the past decade.

 

-The White Sox can claim they were the only team to have won a WS and were a team where a retarded llama could have draft better then them.

-The Tigers can claim to have had the best attendance, appeared in a WS, and had a losing record against the Royals.

-The Twins can claim six playoff appearances and a fan base that probably puts up their participation trophies up on the shelf after finishing god-awful. Six playoff appearances with only winning six games is suppose to embarrass fans, not make them happy.

-The Royals can claim that there is no way the next decade can be any worse. Of course unless they lose ten straight seasons again, even with their amazing farm system, wouldn’t surprise me.

-And the Indians can claim that at least they were not the Royals.

 

Future Bold Prediction:

Due to the Royals amazing farm system, they will win the World Series in 2012, which will lead to the end of the world as predicted by John Cusack. The world will be destroyed by a dark wizard and krakens and kung fu pandas and ok, I never actually saw this movie. It looked horrid…like the Royals of the past decade! Hahaha, you need some ointment for that burn?

 

Loses:

On a more serious and sadder note, the following are people that contributed to the AL Central in some way and lost their lives the past decade. 

 

Ernie Harwell, Herb Score, Carl Pohlad, Herb Carneal, Kirby Puckett, Johnny Podres, Joe Niekco, Danny McDevitt, Ray Barton, Woodie Held, Bob Feller, Don Gutteridge, Bruce Dal Canton, Hank Bauer, Walt Dropo, Phil Carvarretta, Johnny Callison, Eddie Brinkman, Clete Boyer, Bobby Bonds, Woodie Held, Jerome Holtzman, Walter Jagiello, George Kell, Bob Shaw, Jose Uribe, Sparky Anderson, Elden Auker, Steve Boros, Chris Brown, Dock Ellis, Mark Fidrych, Billy Hitchcock, Ralph Hoak, Bill Lajoie, Larry Sherry

 

*All stats were taken from baseball-reference.com. Best positional/pitcher WAR is only that player’s WAR for that team. Best draft player WAR is that player’s complete WAR through out their career. BA top 100 appearances and total WAR are only from players that made the list with that team. Reading this post can cause bleeding of the eyes, depression, rage, sleeplessness, and erectile dysfunction.

 

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