Ron Gardenhire's Five Stages of Losing Nick Punto

by Jon Marthaler on Jan 24, 2011 9:01 AM EST in WTF

Told few wks ago that Gardy was asking for Punto's return on regular basis & front office wouldn't budge because of Nick's frequent DLs.

From Joe Christensen:

Nick Punto's first choice was to re-sign with the Twins, and beyond that, he wanted to make sure he ended up with a contender. When it became clear this week that the Twins were moving on, Punto struck quickly, signing a one-year, $750,000 deal with the St. Louis Cardinals.

DENIAL.

"What? Punto's not coming back? This isn't happening! No! Nooooooooooo! We talked yesterday! And the day before that! He sent me a pie! Everything was fine! Bill Smith said he'd think about it! This can't be true!"

ANGER.

"People are going to pay for this. I'm going to get some of my Oklahoma buddies to put dead catfish in Bill Smith's trunk. I'm gonna bench Alexi Casilla every other day, just to show Smith who runs this team. I'm going to call Tsuyoshi Nishioka "Kaz Matsui" until he cries or goes home. I'm going to make Matt Tolbert dive headfirst into first base forty times a day."

"And Hunter Wendelstedt had better watch out, because I'm going to sneak up behind him in the umpire's room and punch his lights out."

BARGAINING.

"Why couldn't you have dumped Tolbert instead? Or Cuddyer! Take Cuddyer instead! HE'S SHOCKINGLY OVERPAID!"

"I promise if you bring Punto back, I'll learn about fielding-independent pitching! I'll stop pretending that Jason Kubel can hit lefties! I'll quit benching Pat Neshek because he's weird! PLEASE! ANYTHING!"

DEPRESSION.

"Why even manage this team anymore? It's like all of the grit is gone. I see now that baseball is only a foolish construct, perpetuated only by the powerful to glorify the powerful. The weak, the slow, the small - there's no place for us in baseball. It's a sham, and you people in the stands, you can see it now, can't you? You can see how baseball uses you up and casts you aside, tosses you out like yesterday's garbage if you can't hit or run the bases or get a bunt down, or if you swing the bat like you're trying to hit a cow with a banjo."

"There is no fun in baseball any more. Hard work means nothing, only luck. DON'T LOOK AT ME, MAUER, YOU'RE EVERYTHING WRONG WITH THIS GAME."

ACCEPTANCE.

"Well, at least I've still got you two. Butera, you can't hit, and Cuddyer, you make way too much money, and if I put you two together, it's kind of like Nick's still here. And we've still got Tolbert. He battles his tail off, you know. It won't be the same, but I guess I'd better... (sniff)... get after it. It's what Nicky would have wanted."

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Comments

Classic

Tolbert has a lot to live up to.

You, sir, are a mouthful.

by Att. Bob Loblaw on Jan 24, 2011 9:20 AM EST reply actions

Amazing

That was hilarious :)
“Well, at least I’ve still got you two. Butera, you can’t hit, and Cuddyer, you make way too much money, and if I put you two together, it’s kind of like Nick’s still here”

by mchokozie on Jan 24, 2011 9:56 AM EST reply actions

LOL Funny!

It looks like Cuddy is going to be the new LNP as far as irrational dislike of a player on TT goes in 2011.

"Don't take life for granted, because tomorrow isn't promised to any one of us." -Kirby Puckett
"Gardy MOY. Feel great disturbance in Force. As if millions of Internet cranks cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced." -BatGirl

by less cowbell, more 'neau on Jan 24, 2011 10:00 AM EST reply actions

Either that or Delmon when he shows his Elmon side again early in the season.

And here is to hoping that’s not the case

by twinscrazy_german on Jan 24, 2011 10:15 AM EST up reply actions 1 recs

+1

by less cowbell, more 'neau on Jan 24, 2011 10:40 AM EST up reply actions

Not me.

I really like Cuddyer, and I think he’s a good bounce-back candidate for this year. Sure, he might be overpaid, but I still think he’s very valuable to this team.

by Jesse on Jan 24, 2011 10:18 AM EST up reply actions

Does this make me a turncoat, too?

by Jesse on Jan 24, 2011 10:18 AM EST up reply actions

I thought you were a Redcoat?

by less cowbell, more 'neau on Jan 24, 2011 10:37 AM EST up reply actions

Either way is cool.

I just like coats.

by Jesse on Jan 24, 2011 11:05 AM EST up reply actions 1 recs

dude

you have to get out of the UK

I feel an obligtaion to help fill the void in fischean's life lft by that no good montanasheeplover
Knock that cancer out of the park, Harmon!!!!

by carlpavanosmoustache on Jan 24, 2011 11:35 AM EST up reply actions

I concur.

This joint ain’t doin me any favors.

Favours?

Favors.

by Jesse on Jan 24, 2011 11:42 AM EST up reply actions

Jesse

I happen to agree with you. Cuddy played on a bad knee all season and people give him crap for bad defense and no mobility. Well, duh…yeah that kinda follows. But he did it because the team thought that was what was best.

Is he overpaid? Sure. But I think he’s a good bet for a bounce back as well.

by Shawn Gillogly on Jan 24, 2011 12:17 PM EST up reply actions

He's always been a bad defender

Even in the minor leagues he led leagues in errors in the infield and was a lumbering outfielder.

But I do cut him some slack for last year, offensively and defensively. I just don’t know how you can call a guy underrated when he makes $11 million and the media wanted to make him the Twins MVP despite being less than 1 win above replacement level last year.

"You're thinking too much. Just have fun." -- Bennie "The Jet" Rodriguez in Sandlot

by cmathewson on Jan 24, 2011 12:29 PM EST up reply actions

Not about salary

How many people outside the Twin Cities have any idea that Michael Cuddyer makes that much? How many people outside the Twin Cities would have even heard of Michael Cuddyer had the Twins not played the Yankees a bunch of times in the playoffs? That’s why I think Cuddyer probably qualifies as underrated – even in years when he’s been legitimately excellent, he’s not anything approaching a household name.

"There are only two things that are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former." - Albert Einstein

by BeefMaster on Jan 24, 2011 12:37 PM EST up reply actions

If that's the criterion, then a lot of Twins are underrated

I can think of several Twins who have a lower profile than Cuddyer and delivered more value. Brian Duensing comes to mind.

Go to the StarTribune’s Twins page and what player is most prominently profiled? That might not translate into national esteem, but it’s better than not being profiled at all.

"You're thinking too much. Just have fun." -- Bennie "The Jet" Rodriguez in Sandlot

by cmathewson on Jan 24, 2011 1:14 PM EST up reply actions

Cuddyer definitely is a Twins Territory icon.

Just as much due to his tenure and apparent clubhouse leadership as his productivity. He’s been a good player, an organization guy…and a lot of that isn’t sexy, and it hasn’t translated into great yearly numbers, but there’s clearly more to it than that.

by Jesse on Jan 24, 2011 1:20 PM EST up reply actions

That I agree with

I think he’s a good guy and a good clubhouse presence. He’s a team leader. That counts for something. But this organization tends to prop those guys up in the media, and the media tends to spout what the team says, particularly LEN III.. Witness Punto and Redman.

I just have a hard time saying a guy is underrated when as recently as August, a lot of people in high places were calling him the Twins MVP over guys like Mauer, including a couple of national broadcasters.

I thought he was one of the most overrated Twins last year. People made so much about his versatility, but I don’t give a lot of credit to a guy who is written into the line-up card at almost every position but is not very good at any of them. If he had a great offensive season, maybe. But he was not only bad on raw numbers, but he led the team in LOB and had the lowest BA with runners in scoring position.

"You're thinking too much. Just have fun." -- Bennie "The Jet" Rodriguez in Sandlot

by cmathewson on Jan 24, 2011 2:10 PM EST up reply actions

I've watched a lot of games

and I’m not sure that I’d agree that he’s"Cuddy" a weak outfielder. Is he the best NO, I’d place him at average. Now Delmond, I’d say he’s a weak LF’er, I’m not sure he’s be much better in RF either.

by b1 on Jan 24, 2011 1:06 PM EST up reply actions

I'd say slightly below average

He’d be well below average were it not for two things: His UZR looks worse than it should be because he plays in front of high walls; and he has a strong and accurate arm.

"You're thinking too much. Just have fun." -- Bennie "The Jet" Rodriguez in Sandlot

by cmathewson on Jan 24, 2011 2:11 PM EST up reply actions

+1

by Gunnarthor on Jan 24, 2011 10:27 AM EST up reply actions

Are we allowed to rationally dislike Butera?

by DJL44 on Jan 24, 2011 11:43 AM EST up reply actions

yes

I’m sick of our bench being populated by players who consider the Mendoza line a standard of excellence.

The fact Butera got his enabler back doesn’t help things, either.

by Shawn Gillogly on Jan 24, 2011 12:19 PM EST up reply actions

I don't know...

You’re certainly within your rights to dislike his presence on the team and how he’s used, but I don’t know that you necessarily need to dislike Drew himself.

This brought to mind something that I’d been thinking about a lot regarding Punto – it seems like dislike for how a player is used gets transferred into dislike for the player. By most accounts, there’s pretty much no reason to hate Nick Punto – he plays harder than anyone, he’s a useful player when used the right way, and I’ve never heard a bad thing about him personally (he always seemed to be popular in the clubhouse). Yet for a fairly substantial subset of Twins fans, he was the most hated home team player I can remember, all because he played more often than he probably should have.

Don’t hate the player; hate the game. It’s not Drew Butera’s fault that Bill Smith and Ron Gardenhire are happy with him as the backup catcher.

"There are only two things that are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former." - Albert Einstein

by BeefMaster on Jan 24, 2011 12:35 PM EST up reply actions 5 recs

I completely agree with your sentiments

by twinscrazy_german on Jan 24, 2011 1:43 PM EST up reply actions

Rec'd

by less cowbell, more 'neau on Jan 24, 2011 1:58 PM EST up reply actions

There was plenty of reason to hate Nick Punto's game

Mental errors in the field, getting picked off bases, sliding headfirst, failing at bunts, doing the little things wrong. I really disliked watching him play baseball.

by DJL44 on Jan 24, 2011 3:00 PM EST up reply actions

True

But you have to admire his grit, and the fact that the chose not to sign with the White Sox. Ozzie would have loved him on the team.

by Jessy S on Jan 24, 2011 3:32 PM EST up reply actions

Grit isn't worth 4 million

I didn’t necessarily hate LNP, I hated him wearing a Twin’s Uniform. I met him out in Anaheim last year, got his autograph (depsite people saying the balls value actually went down when Nick signed it….) and had a nice chat with him actually. But like I said Grit is not worth 4 million dollars, and neither is being a nice guy… that should get you 1 mil max.

by Shuckler on Jan 24, 2011 7:50 PM EST up reply actions

I never said I hated the person.

I just don’t want him on my team as a player.

by Shawn Gillogly on Jan 24, 2011 4:17 PM EST up reply actions

I've always made the child/scissors comparison with Gardy/Punto...

Gardy is a 4 year old and Punto is his sharp scissors. Bill Smith is the parent that must take the toy away.

by DJSkillz on Jan 24, 2011 4:36 PM EST up reply actions 2 recs

+1

Butera’s definitely the guy I most want off the roster at this point.

You just know Gardy’s going to overuse him. I’d much rather have Morales than Butera.

by DJSkillz on Jan 24, 2011 3:04 PM EST up reply actions

We need to have a holiday...

“Get after it” day.

I’m just not sure on the date. It could be Punto’s B-day, but that’s in November. I think it would be much more appropriate to do it on Punto’s big-league debut, on June 7, 1998.

June 7th every year, is the day you “get after it.”

You dive headfirst into things.
You show more grit and hustle in everything you do.
You make ordinary tasks look amazing.

In honor of Little Nicky Punto.

by #8 guy on Jan 24, 2011 10:28 AM EST reply actions

We could rename Nick Punto day, now that he's moved on!

by Patrick42 on Jan 24, 2011 10:47 AM EST up reply actions

There was a Nick Punto day?

My life has been missing out

by #8 guy on Jan 24, 2011 11:06 AM EST up reply actions

Oh, Nick Punto day was all sorts of fun.

People can be very clever when inspired by a little ball of wonder like LNP.

俳句！

by fischean on Jan 24, 2011 11:39 AM EST up reply actions

Great stuff, Jon.

by RandBall's Stu on Jan 24, 2011 10:29 AM EST reply actions

This reminds me of that one time when Burl Ives was real sad because Rudolph ran away from home. But he came back – maybe Nick Punto will too.

AZGGinCHI

by AZGGinCHI on Jan 24, 2011 11:13 AM EST reply actions

Maybe the funniest thing I've ever heard....in baseball...

you swing like your trying to hit a cow with a banjo.

@Wow!

by Iowatwinswin on Jan 24, 2011 12:13 PM EST reply actions

The funniest thing I ever heard in baseball

is that the Angels took on Vernon Wells, gave away two useful, if mediocre players, and didn’t get any money back from Toronto.

"Pinch-bunters don't have a ton of value, even with the Twins"

by Steven Ellingson on Jan 24, 2011 1:41 PM EST up reply actions

That is pretty hilarious.

In that painful, glad-it-wasn’t-the-Twins kind of way.

by Jesse on Jan 24, 2011 2:08 PM EST up reply actions

Excellent Take

In all seriousness, Punto served a valuable role for the Twins for all of his years here. He never should have been a regular, but as a fill in a three positions with good to outstanding defense at all three, he was worth something. Probably about what the Cards are paying him.

by Alexi Casilla All-Star on Jan 24, 2011 12:54 PM EST reply actions

This is exactly what I needed this morning

Hilarious!

Baseball reminds us of all that once was good, and that could be again.-Terence Mann/James Earl Jones in FoD

by Twins33 on Jan 24, 2011 12:57 PM EST reply actions

Also

I think it is important to remember that Nicky has spend a lot of DL time and given his style of play, he’ll probably spend more in the next couple of years. Besides that, you don’t need 33 y.o. bench players who can’t hit.

by Alexi Casilla All-Star on Jan 24, 2011 12:57 PM EST reply actions

Wonderful Jon

My favorite Line

“There is no fun in baseball any more. Hard work means nothing, only luck. DON’T LOOK AT ME, MAUER, YOU’RE EVERYTHING WRONG WITH THIS GAME.”

That has to be a new instant classic.

by Jessy S on Jan 24, 2011 3:35 PM EST reply actions

Totally agree.

Depressed Gardy is awesome. Rec’d

by Luke in MN on Jan 24, 2011 5:24 PM EST up reply actions

This is genius

And the accompanying photos are perfect fits

This was a triumph
I'm making a note here - huge success

by what_would_gil_thorp_do on Jan 24, 2011 5:31 PM EST reply actions

The photos make the story

Without the photos, meh

by DJL44 on Jan 24, 2011 6:07 PM EST up reply actions

you know if nothing else i come here everyday just for the comedy that is sure to present itself

Twinkie Town is turning into 50% comic relief and 50% actual baseball blog.

I called it - Joe Mauer's first career Home-Run at Target Field !!!

"Matt Millen ran Barry Sanders out of town he Drove the Lions into the ground
and now he acts as if he is a know it all NFL analyst" -favre

by SteveHoffmanSlowey on Jan 24, 2011 5:31 PM EST reply actions

It's that time of the year. ;)

by Shawn Gillogly on Jan 24, 2011 5:43 PM EST up reply actions

True.

It’s that time of the year. Plus, we like to cater to everyone…or at the very least give it a good shot.

by Jesse on Jan 24, 2011 6:28 PM EST up reply actions

Shhhh!

Jesse will make us write actual stories, if you’re not careful!

by Jon Marthaler on Jan 24, 2011 7:28 PM EST up reply actions

There _has_ been a lot of baseball content.

All this minor league/prospects stuff dragging the percentage of awesome down.

by timprov on Jan 24, 2011 8:45 PM EST up reply actions

It's 100% baseball

This is a game. Let’s be fans and have fun.

"It happened in the moment, and it happened." - Carlos Gomez

by myjah on Jan 25, 2011 8:04 AM EST up reply actions 1 recs

That's a good answer, I like that one.

by Jesse on Jan 25, 2011 9:37 AM EST up reply actions

One of the funniest things I've ever read.

Jon Marthaler, you have a new fan. Holy cow. That was hilarious.

by hrbekmorneau on Jan 25, 2011 9:38 AM EST reply actions

another excellently funny read, Mr. Marthaler.

I can see it now. Three lonely underrated Twins lazily sipping decaff in a booth after a late night meal at Embers. All of ‘em making their best pitch at the lone tired waitress. Butera is coolly flicking a lighter, Cuddyer is trying to dazzle her with card tricks,and LNP slides head first into the kitchen and does his best impersonation of an actual major league baseball hitter by grabbing a frying pan and swinging it like he’s trying to hit a cow with a banjo.

Me? Just another sheeple on the internets.

by montanatwinsfan on Jan 25, 2011 3:06 PM EST reply actions 2 recs

Hahaha...rec'd.

by Jesse on Jan 26, 2011 6:11 AM EST up reply actions

and pavstache

Is rubbing his fingers through his mustache with a cigarette mutters something to Butera who stops (for a second) flicking the lighter and gets an evil grin. You can practically see the explosion in his far off look. Waitress looks at them like they are all nuts and walks away. Pavstache mutters about not bringing the freakshow next time just as Pat Neshek walks in. (I couldn’t resist)

by twinsgirl197 on Jan 26, 2011 7:06 PM EST up reply actions