Navigation: Jump to content areas:


Pro Quality. Fan Perspective.
Login-facebook
Around SBN: Dallas Cowboys Projects: Andre Holmes

Twinsgirl197's Imaginary Off Season Game 1: Duece, Danny deliver

            Happy off season, Twins fans! Welcome to the wonderful imagination of Twinsgirl197! I was sort of musing to myself on Twitter Monday, and ended up mentioning that I was thinking about writing a fake game recap every Saturday for the offseason to entertain myself over on my own blog. But then Jesse said I should put it on here as well. So, here I am, ranting as I usually do before the jump on my fanposts :)

            So I should probably explain myself a little bit. I’m using the rosters from the 2011 season for this whole thing, unless a major trade occurs in the middle of this "season" that I feel like adding to this. I will probably just post these things on Saturdays, but I seem to have been a little antsy to get it started so wrote it since I have no homework tonight. Our opening game is against the Rays, and will be Brian Duensing (could you guys expect anything less?) vs. David Price. We’re starting the season at home also. Game recap after the jump :)

Star-divide



            The crowd roared as Duensing took the mound today, not knowing what my favorite lefty was about to do. Brian proceeded to load the bases, with no outs, all via walks. Twins fans held their heads in shame. What had our pitcher done to us? Were we doomed to another 2011esque season? Anderson must’ve been working some magic, because Duensing proceeded to strike out the next three. Twins fans went nuts as it was the Rays fans’ turn to hang their heads in shame for wasting such an opportunity.

            David Price was a little off of his game today, but it still worked for him. He ended up going 7 innings, walking 2, K’ing 5, giving up 5 hits and 0 runs. Our offense didn’t seem to be quite awake for those first 7 innings, the only batters getting hits were Span (2 singles), Mauer (double), Morneau (single) and Valencia (single) against Price.

            Getting into the 5th inning, fans started realizing something. Looking at the scoreboard, it appeared that there were 0 hits for the Rays. Some whisperings started "Wow, is it happening?" "Heck of a mess with the walks, but wow, the game that shall not be described is happening right now…" "Dang, Duece is looking goooooood out there…." (oh wait, that last one was me thinking…). His pitch count was high, because he had allowed 7 walks and Longoria had racked up two 13 pitch at bats and 4 other players also had 7+ pitch at bats.

            Brian ended up slipping his way into the 8th with 102 pitches. His first batter in the eighth was Upton. The count was quickly 0-2, and then slipped to 2-2. Brian left a cookie middle in, and B.J. made sure he knew it. Brian had a little grin on his face and shook his head almost laughing when BJ pulled into 2nd and stopped with a double. Gardy quickly made a trip out to the mound and took him out.

            Perk came in and quickly struck out 2 and got Johnny Damon to ground out to Nishioka. The Twins went quietly in the 8th, and Perk again sent the Rays down without a hitch.

            This left Danny batting in the bottom of the 9th with 2 strikes. Joel Peralta left Danny’s favorite pitch right in his power stroke. Fans watched the ball, praying that it’d stay fair. Even Danny waved his left hand towards first as he trotted towards first, wishing it would stay fair. I think Twins fans could be heard all the way in Florida with the roar that hit Target Field as Danny’s shot bounced off the foul pole in left.

            What a great day to be a Twins fan! (PS. Yes, i need a life, I know...)

Comment 77 comments  |  2 recs  | 

Do you like this story?

Comments

Display:

Woo! Twins win!

I imagine Danny will have lots of walk off hits this offseason.

by archie2227 on Nov 1, 2011 9:07 PM EDT reply actions  

I'll try to restrain myself...

"I don't really give a f*** and my excuse is that I'm young, and I'm only getting older somebody shoulda told ya" ~Drake (I'm On One)

by twinsgirl197 on Nov 1, 2011 9:19 PM EDT up reply actions  

Joe Mauer, Justin Morneau

and Denard Span need the runs too.

I'm a proud fan of the Minnesota Twins and Dallas Cowboys!
"Life is precious and time is a key element. Let’s make every moment count and help those who have a greater need than our own." – Harmon Killebrew
Champagne SuperTolbert Saves the day!!!

by Jessy S on Nov 2, 2011 10:58 PM EDT up reply actions  

ha!

smart lady

Come see all your favorite EPIC fails @ www.minnesotatwins.com!

by caluofmn on Nov 3, 2011 10:34 AM EDT up reply actions  

Seriously, I want them to score

I'm a proud fan of the Minnesota Twins and Dallas Cowboys!
"Life is precious and time is a key element. Let’s make every moment count and help those who have a greater need than our own." – Harmon Killebrew
Champagne SuperTolbert Saves the day!!!

by Jessy S on Nov 3, 2011 6:23 PM EDT up reply actions  

TWSS

"Don't take life for granted, because tomorrow isn't promised to any one of us." -Kirby Puckett
#OccupyTwinkieTown

by less cowbell, more 'neau on Nov 3, 2011 6:29 PM EDT up reply actions  

send them google map directions to the McDonalds in Bismarck, ND

I don't know, but I've been told it's hard to run with the weight of gold,
'the other hand, I've heard it said, it's just as hard with the weight of lead.

by montanatwinsfan on Nov 3, 2011 2:33 PM EDT up reply actions   3 recs

Danny is the Best!

"We're all in this together. Except me - I'm retiring because you guys f*%King suck, and there's no God-D@mned way I'm wasting any more of my summers traveling cross country with this group of fail. Bill Smith can suck my c@%k!"
-Actual quote from John Gordon via montanatwinsfan

by Go Twins! on Nov 1, 2011 9:17 PM EDT reply actions  

Why is it not surprising that in your imaginary game, Duensing and Valencia are the heroes?

:-p

I challenge you to make this more authentic in the future by including the filled out scorecard, pitch by pitch. Bonus points if you include hidden messages in the end of game totals.

by ColossusOfRhode on Nov 1, 2011 9:52 PM EDT reply actions  

Haha ok, it was my first one, i wanted to make myself happy...

I’ll try to make Saturday’s better. Pitch by pitch sounds like it’d take really really long to write…

"I don't really give a f*** and my excuse is that I'm young, and I'm only getting older somebody shoulda told ya" ~Drake (I'm On One)

by twinsgirl197 on Nov 1, 2011 10:03 PM EDT up reply actions  

so aka I'll do it in math class tomorrow... :P

"I don't really give a f*** and my excuse is that I'm young, and I'm only getting older somebody shoulda told ya" ~Drake (I'm On One)

by twinsgirl197 on Nov 1, 2011 10:04 PM EDT up reply actions  

Well, I was just thinking you'd fill out a scorecard

Like this: http://web.mit.edu/puzzle/www/05/setec/take_me_out/bball.pdf

I suppose it doesn’t have to be pitch by pitch. (FYI, that PDF is actually a puzzle with a solution, but I’ll leave it as an exercise for the reader.)

by ColossusOfRhode on Nov 1, 2011 10:21 PM EDT up reply actions  

Ooooh haha ok yeah that'd probably work :)

I’ll try that out next time :) But the whole code thing seems.. difficult

"I don't really give a f*** and my excuse is that I'm young, and I'm only getting older somebody shoulda told ya" ~Drake (I'm On One)

by twinsgirl197 on Nov 1, 2011 10:32 PM EDT up reply actions  

I write puzzles as a hobby

The encoding thing is hard… don’t worry about doing that. :)

by ColossusOfRhode on Nov 1, 2011 10:36 PM EDT up reply actions  

Aw!

The Twins offense sucks even in Imagination Land. At least we won (I think).

C’MON TWINS!!!!!! MOAR RUNZ PLZ!!!!!!

"Don't take life for granted, because tomorrow isn't promised to any one of us." -Kirby Puckett
#OccupyTwinkieTown

by less cowbell, more 'neau on Nov 2, 2011 9:07 AM EDT reply actions  

Haha yeah, we won :)

"I don't really give a f*** and my excuse is that I'm young, and I'm only getting older somebody shoulda told ya" ~Drake (I'm On One)

by twinsgirl197 on Nov 2, 2011 9:25 PM EDT up reply actions  

The Twins were facing David Price for crying out loud.

Last I checked, he was the Rays ace.

I'm a proud fan of the Minnesota Twins and Dallas Cowboys!
"Life is precious and time is a key element. Let’s make every moment count and help those who have a greater need than our own." – Harmon Killebrew
Champagne SuperTolbert Saves the day!!!

by Jessy S on Nov 2, 2011 11:03 PM EDT up reply actions  

Last I checked this was an imaginary game recap for crying out loud in a bucket.

"Don't take life for granted, because tomorrow isn't promised to any one of us." -Kirby Puckett
#OccupyTwinkieTown

by less cowbell, more 'neau on Nov 3, 2011 3:59 PM EDT up reply actions  

Last I checked

He was one of the Rays best pitchers. Kudos to Twinsgirl for making this somewhat realistic.

I'm a proud fan of the Minnesota Twins and Dallas Cowboys!
"Life is precious and time is a key element. Let’s make every moment count and help those who have a greater need than our own." – Harmon Killebrew
Champagne SuperTolbert Saves the day!!!

by Jessy S on Nov 3, 2011 6:27 PM EDT up reply actions  

Last I checked no one asked you

"Don't take life for granted, because tomorrow isn't promised to any one of us." -Kirby Puckett
#OccupyTwinkieTown

by less cowbell, more 'neau on Nov 3, 2011 6:30 PM EDT up reply actions  

I was just stating a fact.

There is very little evidence to point out that David Price has a bad night to the point that he gives up eight runs in one inning and is then pulled.

I'm a proud fan of the Minnesota Twins and Dallas Cowboys!
"Life is precious and time is a key element. Let’s make every moment count and help those who have a greater need than our own." – Harmon Killebrew
Champagne SuperTolbert Saves the day!!!

by Jessy S on Nov 3, 2011 6:34 PM EDT up reply actions  

Go eat some McDonald's® McChicken McNuggets®

"Don't take life for granted, because tomorrow isn't promised to any one of us." -Kirby Puckett
#OccupyTwinkieTown

by less cowbell, more 'neau on Nov 3, 2011 6:40 PM EDT up reply actions   2 recs

No

Myjah was the winner. Twinsgirl talked her into eating uncooked pasta.

I'm a proud fan of the Minnesota Twins and Dallas Cowboys!
"Life is precious and time is a key element. Let’s make every moment count and help those who have a greater need than our own." – Harmon Killebrew
Champagne SuperTolbert Saves the day!!!

by Jessy S on Nov 2, 2011 11:04 PM EDT up reply actions  

Am I the only one...

that thinks this leads to other types of fan fiction? and that it’s creepy?

by y2jayjk on Nov 2, 2011 12:17 PM EDT reply actions   2 recs

#pervert

yes I just hashtagged on TT

by mchokozie on Nov 2, 2011 12:28 PM EDT up reply actions  

Yeah, because TT is normally free of fan fiction.

(Pavstache & Sweet Drew, Scenes From An Offseason, etc.)

WFTDA Championship Tournament: Minnesota RollerGirls vs Charm City Roller Girls - Friday 11/11 at 3:00 pm central. Broadcast online at derbyaccess.com

by Flip27 on Nov 2, 2011 2:29 PM EDT up reply actions  

So cute

You should do one where Kevin is the hero. I mean since its imaginary and all

by mchokozie on Nov 2, 2011 12:27 PM EDT reply actions  

Mauer's knees are in perfect shape

Morneau/Span have no concussions . . . Liriano reverts to 2007 . . . Cuddyer and Kubel play for peanuts . . . Nishioka plays like an MLBer . . . the team wins a playoff series . . . aargh!

Steve Goodman lives.

by twinsbrewer on Nov 2, 2011 12:34 PM EDT up reply actions  

They beat the Yankees,

Drew gets hits, Mijares is thin, Revere is tall…

by mchokozie on Nov 2, 2011 1:11 PM EDT up reply actions  

-And Gardy compliments Hunter Wendelstedt on calling a great game.

WFTDA Championship Tournament: Minnesota RollerGirls vs Charm City Roller Girls - Friday 11/11 at 3:00 pm central. Broadcast online at derbyaccess.com

by Flip27 on Nov 2, 2011 2:31 PM EDT up reply actions   1 recs

or Joe West on his charming personality.

WFTDA Championship Tournament: Minnesota RollerGirls vs Charm City Roller Girls - Friday 11/11 at 3:00 pm central. Broadcast online at derbyaccess.com

by Flip27 on Nov 2, 2011 2:32 PM EDT up reply actions   1 recs

I started an evil trend...

"I don't really give a f*** and my excuse is that I'm young, and I'm only getting older somebody shoulda told ya" ~Drake (I'm On One)

by twinsgirl197 on Nov 2, 2011 9:27 PM EDT up reply actions  

and Luke conveniently has an adorable little brother my age who I marry...

"I don't really give a f*** and my excuse is that I'm young, and I'm only getting older somebody shoulda told ya" ~Drake (I'm On One)

by twinsgirl197 on Nov 2, 2011 10:16 PM EDT up reply actions  

'Tis fate, obviously.

I mean, Mchokozie already acts like an overly protective older sister to me, so it’s obviously just destiny that I will marry her future husband’s little brother! lol

"I don't really give a f*** and my excuse is that I'm young, and I'm only getting older somebody shoulda told ya" ~Drake (I'm On One)

by twinsgirl197 on Nov 2, 2011 10:52 PM EDT up reply actions  

haha

then you’d never get rid of me!

by mchokozie on Nov 2, 2011 10:59 PM EDT up reply actions  

...I didn't think that one through...

And I’d suggest you go out with my brother but no girl should go through that… lol

"I don't really give a f*** and my excuse is that I'm young, and I'm only getting older somebody shoulda told ya" ~Drake (I'm On One)

by twinsgirl197 on Nov 2, 2011 11:00 PM EDT up reply actions  

Revere's height has no bearing on his ability to succeed in the game.

…only that he grows a cannon-arm in place of his existing limp-noodley one.

"...and we'll see ya tomorrow night!" - Jack Buck, Game 6, 1991 World Series

by WindyCityTwinsFan on Nov 2, 2011 2:34 PM EDT up reply actions  

mchokozie sighting!

I’ve been meaning to ask. Where did this username come from?

by archie2227 on Nov 2, 2011 9:17 PM EDT up reply actions  

hiiiiii

so mchokozie is a Swahili word meaning “pest” and I was called that in college by some of my friends from Kenya. (in a nice way, they swear, lol)

by mchokozie on Nov 2, 2011 9:55 PM EDT up reply actions  

Awesome

That is a better reason than I could’ve made up

by archie2227 on Nov 2, 2011 10:20 PM EDT up reply actions  

ZOMG SHE'S COME BACK FROM TWITTERLAND!!!

"I don't really give a f*** and my excuse is that I'm young, and I'm only getting older somebody shoulda told ya" ~Drake (I'm On One)

by twinsgirl197 on Nov 2, 2011 10:14 PM EDT up reply actions  

I'm surprised

there isn’t more vitriol in this comment based on…. well, embarrassing you in front of Danny’s twitter timeline.

by archie2227 on Nov 2, 2011 10:21 PM EDT up reply actions  

that v word... I'm confused.. and google confused me more...

and yeah, and Brian’s… Thanks Archie… Thanks….

"I don't really give a f*** and my excuse is that I'm young, and I'm only getting older somebody shoulda told ya" ~Drake (I'm On One)

by twinsgirl197 on Nov 2, 2011 10:23 PM EDT up reply actions  

oh ok :)

I gets it now….

"I don't really give a f*** and my excuse is that I'm young, and I'm only getting older somebody shoulda told ya" ~Drake (I'm On One)

by twinsgirl197 on Nov 2, 2011 10:32 PM EDT up reply actions  

You planted the idea in his brain...

You are partially to blame…

"I don't really give a f*** and my excuse is that I'm young, and I'm only getting older somebody shoulda told ya" ~Drake (I'm On One)

by twinsgirl197 on Nov 2, 2011 10:53 PM EDT up reply actions  

Haha that's the plan :D

"I don't really give a f*** and my excuse is that I'm young, and I'm only getting older somebody shoulda told ya" ~Drake (I'm On One)

by twinsgirl197 on Nov 2, 2011 11:01 PM EDT up reply actions  

You'll be lucky

If a Twins player hits a foul ball right into your face.

Note: that actually happened to Denard Span’s mother during a spring training game.

I'm a proud fan of the Minnesota Twins and Dallas Cowboys!
"Life is precious and time is a key element. Let’s make every moment count and help those who have a greater need than our own." – Harmon Killebrew
Champagne SuperTolbert Saves the day!!!

by Jessy S on Nov 2, 2011 11:09 PM EDT up reply actions  

I stand corrected.

I'm a proud fan of the Minnesota Twins and Dallas Cowboys!
"Life is precious and time is a key element. Let’s make every moment count and help those who have a greater need than our own." – Harmon Killebrew
Champagne SuperTolbert Saves the day!!!

by Jessy S on Nov 3, 2011 6:30 PM EDT up reply actions  

..No hitting Mchokozie in the face!!!

"I don't really give a f*** and my excuse is that I'm young, and I'm only getting older somebody shoulda told ya" ~Drake (I'm On One)

by twinsgirl197 on Nov 3, 2011 6:03 PM EDT up reply actions  

Ok

But maybe Denard Span can do that to Robby or Gardy. Maybe something that would get Span on ESPN Sportscenter’s “Not Top 10 List.”

I'm a proud fan of the Minnesota Twins and Dallas Cowboys!
"Life is precious and time is a key element. Let’s make every moment count and help those who have a greater need than our own." – Harmon Killebrew
Champagne SuperTolbert Saves the day!!!

by Jessy S on Nov 3, 2011 6:29 PM EDT up reply actions  

..No, Denard should just not hit anyone with a foul ball

Hitting people is bad, mmmkay?

"I don't really give a f*** and my excuse is that I'm young, and I'm only getting older somebody shoulda told ya" ~Drake (I'm On One)

by twinsgirl197 on Nov 3, 2011 6:51 PM EDT up reply actions   2 recs

Agreed

But it would just be an accident if it happened. Seriously, I would love to see somebody hit Target Center.

I'm a proud fan of the Minnesota Twins and Dallas Cowboys!
"Life is precious and time is a key element. Let’s make every moment count and help those who have a greater need than our own." – Harmon Killebrew
Champagne SuperTolbert Saves the day!!!

by Jessy S on Nov 4, 2011 4:41 PM EDT up reply actions  

OK, just for you I will eventually..

.I’ll write it on my way to the giant cornfield this weekend, and try to post in from the hotel room or my brother’s dorm

"I don't really give a f*** and my excuse is that I'm young, and I'm only getting older somebody shoulda told ya" ~Drake (I'm On One)

by twinsgirl197 on Nov 2, 2011 9:26 PM EDT up reply actions  

In the post-game

Gardy gushes about how great Danny is and how he is the heart and soul of the organization.

I need a clever or funny signature, please send me suggestions.

by #8 guy on Nov 2, 2011 1:09 PM EDT reply actions  

And Robby lets Joe Mauer in so he can smack Danny with a shaving cream pie.

I'm a proud fan of the Minnesota Twins and Dallas Cowboys!
"Life is precious and time is a key element. Let’s make every moment count and help those who have a greater need than our own." – Harmon Killebrew
Champagne SuperTolbert Saves the day!!!

by Jessy S on Nov 2, 2011 11:13 PM EDT up reply actions  

PS thanks for front paging this (I'm assuming Jesse :)

"I don't really give a f*** and my excuse is that I'm young, and I'm only getting older somebody shoulda told ya" ~Drake (I'm On One)

by twinsgirl197 on Nov 2, 2011 9:28 PM EDT reply actions  

After reading some of the other recent fanposts,

I appreciate this one even more. Keep it up, twinsgirl197.

"Don't take life for granted, because tomorrow isn't promised to any one of us." -Kirby Puckett
#OccupyTwinkieTown

by less cowbell, more 'neau on Nov 3, 2011 4:01 PM EDT reply actions  

haha I'll probably have a new one to post late Sunday too

I think I’m going to try to do this weekly, it was a lot of fun to write :)

"I don't really give a f*** and my excuse is that I'm young, and I'm only getting older somebody shoulda told ya" ~Drake (I'm On One)

by twinsgirl197 on Nov 3, 2011 6:04 PM EDT up reply actions  

Have Tsuyoshi Nishioka hit a homerun!

I would love that.

"It happened in the moment, and it happened." - Carlos Gomez

by myjah on Nov 5, 2011 9:24 PM EDT reply actions  

haha ok, just for you he'll hit one in the next game :)

"I don't really give a f*** and my excuse is that I'm young, and I'm only getting older somebody shoulda told ya" ~Drake (I'm On One)

by twinsgirl197 on Nov 5, 2011 9:53 PM EDT up reply actions  

If that happened in real life,

I don’t know what anybody would say. Seriously, people would announce the possible end of the world. Honestly, I would love to hear Dick Bremer’s call.

I'm a proud fan of the Minnesota Twins and Dallas Cowboys!
"Life is precious and time is a key element. Let’s make every moment count and help those who have a greater need than our own." – Harmon Killebrew
Champagne SuperTolbert Saves the day!!!

by Jessy S on Nov 6, 2011 1:16 AM EDT up reply actions  

Comments For This Post Are Closed


User Tools

TT is an SB Nation blog of, by and for the fans. We strive to be the best Minnesota Twins blog by providing quality content and analysis, as well as daily news and notes on the team. We hope you'll make Twinkie Town your home for all things Twins!

FanPosts

Community blog posts and discussion.

Recommended FanPosts

Tc_at_tf_small
Hope in Beloit?

Recent FanPosts

2011-06-18_22
Rochester Celebrates 10 years of affiliation by immortalizing Dustin Martin on a Magnet
Small
I get tired of trade or acquisition discussions. . .
Snickers_small
The Next Move
Small
(Cross-post from my blog) Twins. Red Wings. It's a revolving door.
Waterpolo1956_small
Free Anthony Slama!
Snickers_small
"We Gotta Start Trading 'Em...All Of 'Em!"
Small
AAA players who could help the Twins
Justin_morneau-143_small
Fixing the Twins Pitching
The_jet_small
Poll: How long 'till a Trevor Plouffe DFA?

+ New FanPost All FanPosts >

Twinkie Town On Twitter

Yahoo_full_count

Editor-In-Chief

Twinkietown_small Jesse

Senior Writer

Small Bobomojo

Hrbek_small Jon Marthaler

The_jet_small cmathewson

Gladdentwins_small Adam Peterson

Hosken_powell_autograph_small RandBall's Stu

Mustache_small Andrew Bryz-Gornia

Twins_woo_small Steve Adams

W00t__2__small brandonwarne52

Special Contributor

Small roger13

Untitled_small Trevour

Chairmanmauer_small fischean

Metargetfieldjose_small myjah

Small Brady Eyestone