Twinsgirl197's Imaginary Off Season Game 1: Duece, Danny deliver
Happy off season, Twins fans! Welcome to the wonderful imagination of Twinsgirl197! I was sort of musing to myself on Twitter Monday, and ended up mentioning that I was thinking about writing a fake game recap every Saturday for the offseason to entertain myself over on my own blog. But then Jesse said I should put it on here as well. So, here I am, ranting as I usually do before the jump on my fanposts :)
So I should probably explain myself a little bit. I’m using the rosters from the 2011 season for this whole thing, unless a major trade occurs in the middle of this "season" that I feel like adding to this. I will probably just post these things on Saturdays, but I seem to have been a little antsy to get it started so wrote it since I have no homework tonight. Our opening game is against the Rays, and will be Brian Duensing (could you guys expect anything less?) vs. David Price. We’re starting the season at home also. Game recap after the jump :)
The crowd roared as Duensing took the mound today, not knowing what my favorite lefty was about to do. Brian proceeded to load the bases, with no outs, all via walks. Twins fans held their heads in shame. What had our pitcher done to us? Were we doomed to another 2011esque season? Anderson must’ve been working some magic, because Duensing proceeded to strike out the next three. Twins fans went nuts as it was the Rays fans’ turn to hang their heads in shame for wasting such an opportunity.
David Price was a little off of his game today, but it still worked for him. He ended up going 7 innings, walking 2, K’ing 5, giving up 5 hits and 0 runs. Our offense didn’t seem to be quite awake for those first 7 innings, the only batters getting hits were Span (2 singles), Mauer (double), Morneau (single) and Valencia (single) against Price.
Getting into the 5th inning, fans started realizing something. Looking at the scoreboard, it appeared that there were 0 hits for the Rays. Some whisperings started "Wow, is it happening?" "Heck of a mess with the walks, but wow, the game that shall not be described is happening right now…" "Dang, Duece is looking goooooood out there…." (oh wait, that last one was me thinking…). His pitch count was high, because he had allowed 7 walks and Longoria had racked up two 13 pitch at bats and 4 other players also had 7+ pitch at bats.
Brian ended up slipping his way into the 8th with 102 pitches. His first batter in the eighth was Upton. The count was quickly 0-2, and then slipped to 2-2. Brian left a cookie middle in, and B.J. made sure he knew it. Brian had a little grin on his face and shook his head almost laughing when BJ pulled into 2nd and stopped with a double. Gardy quickly made a trip out to the mound and took him out.
Perk came in and quickly struck out 2 and got Johnny Damon to ground out to Nishioka. The Twins went quietly in the 8th, and Perk again sent the Rays down without a hitch.
This left Danny batting in the bottom of the 9th with 2 strikes. Joel Peralta left Danny’s favorite pitch right in his power stroke. Fans watched the ball, praying that it’d stay fair. Even Danny waved his left hand towards first as he trotted towards first, wishing it would stay fair. I think Twins fans could be heard all the way in Florida with the roar that hit Target Field as Danny’s shot bounced off the foul pole in left.
What a great day to be a Twins fan! (PS. Yes, i need a life, I know...)
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Woo! Twins win!
I imagine Danny will have lots of walk off hits this offseason.
I'll try to restrain myself...
"I don't really give a f*** and my excuse is that I'm young, and I'm only getting older somebody shoulda told ya" ~Drake (I'm On One)
Joe Mauer, Justin Morneau
and Denard Span need the runs too.
I'm a proud fan of the Minnesota Twins and Dallas Cowboys!
"Life is precious and time is a key element. Let’s make every moment count and help those who have a greater need than our own." – Harmon Killebrew
Champagne SuperTolbert Saves the day!!!
Seriously, I want them to score
I'm a proud fan of the Minnesota Twins and Dallas Cowboys!
"Life is precious and time is a key element. Let’s make every moment count and help those who have a greater need than our own." – Harmon Killebrew
Champagne SuperTolbert Saves the day!!!
TWSS
"Don't take life for granted, because tomorrow isn't promised to any one of us." -Kirby Puckett
#OccupyTwinkieTown
by less cowbell, more 'neau on Nov 3, 2011 6:29 PM EDT up reply actions
send them google map directions to the McDonalds in Bismarck, ND
I don't know, but I've been told it's hard to run with the weight of gold,
'the other hand, I've heard it said, it's just as hard with the weight of lead.
by montanatwinsfan on Nov 3, 2011 2:33 PM EDT up reply actions 3 recs
Danny is the Best!
"We're all in this together. Except me - I'm retiring because you guys f*%King suck, and there's no God-D@mned way I'm wasting any more of my summers traveling cross country with this group of fail. Bill Smith can suck my c@%k!"
-Actual quote from John Gordon via montanatwinsfan
Why is it not surprising that in your imaginary game, Duensing and Valencia are the heroes?
:-p
I challenge you to make this more authentic in the future by including the filled out scorecard, pitch by pitch. Bonus points if you include hidden messages in the end of game totals.
Haha ok, it was my first one, i wanted to make myself happy...
I’ll try to make Saturday’s better. Pitch by pitch sounds like it’d take really really long to write…
"I don't really give a f*** and my excuse is that I'm young, and I'm only getting older somebody shoulda told ya" ~Drake (I'm On One)
by twinsgirl197 on Nov 1, 2011 10:03 PM EDT up reply actions
so aka I'll do it in math class tomorrow... :P
"I don't really give a f*** and my excuse is that I'm young, and I'm only getting older somebody shoulda told ya" ~Drake (I'm On One)
by twinsgirl197 on Nov 1, 2011 10:04 PM EDT up reply actions
Well, I was just thinking you'd fill out a scorecard
Like this: http://web.mit.edu/puzzle/www/05/setec/take_me_out/bball.pdf
I suppose it doesn’t have to be pitch by pitch. (FYI, that PDF is actually a puzzle with a solution, but I’ll leave it as an exercise for the reader.)
by ColossusOfRhode on Nov 1, 2011 10:21 PM EDT up reply actions
Ooooh haha ok yeah that'd probably work :)
I’ll try that out next time :) But the whole code thing seems.. difficult
"I don't really give a f*** and my excuse is that I'm young, and I'm only getting older somebody shoulda told ya" ~Drake (I'm On One)
by twinsgirl197 on Nov 1, 2011 10:32 PM EDT up reply actions
I write puzzles as a hobby
The encoding thing is hard… don’t worry about doing that. :)
by ColossusOfRhode on Nov 1, 2011 10:36 PM EDT up reply actions
Yeah, not surprisingly, when you're trying to encode messages in the R, H, and RBI columns
it becomes a pretty unrealistic game.
by ColossusOfRhode on Nov 2, 2011 12:42 AM EDT up reply actions
Aw!
The Twins offense sucks even in Imagination Land. At least we won (I think).
C’MON TWINS!!!!!! MOAR RUNZ PLZ!!!!!!
"Don't take life for granted, because tomorrow isn't promised to any one of us." -Kirby Puckett
#OccupyTwinkieTown
by less cowbell, more 'neau on Nov 2, 2011 9:07 AM EDT reply actions
Haha yeah, we won :)
"I don't really give a f*** and my excuse is that I'm young, and I'm only getting older somebody shoulda told ya" ~Drake (I'm On One)
The Twins were facing David Price for crying out loud.
Last I checked, he was the Rays ace.
I'm a proud fan of the Minnesota Twins and Dallas Cowboys!
"Life is precious and time is a key element. Let’s make every moment count and help those who have a greater need than our own." – Harmon Killebrew
Champagne SuperTolbert Saves the day!!!
Last I checked this was an imaginary game recap for crying out loud in a bucket.
"Don't take life for granted, because tomorrow isn't promised to any one of us." -Kirby Puckett
#OccupyTwinkieTown
by less cowbell, more 'neau on Nov 3, 2011 3:59 PM EDT up reply actions
Last I checked
He was one of the Rays best pitchers. Kudos to Twinsgirl for making this somewhat realistic.
I'm a proud fan of the Minnesota Twins and Dallas Cowboys!
"Life is precious and time is a key element. Let’s make every moment count and help those who have a greater need than our own." – Harmon Killebrew
Champagne SuperTolbert Saves the day!!!
Last I checked no one asked you
"Don't take life for granted, because tomorrow isn't promised to any one of us." -Kirby Puckett
#OccupyTwinkieTown
by less cowbell, more 'neau on Nov 3, 2011 6:30 PM EDT up reply actions
I was just stating a fact.
There is very little evidence to point out that David Price has a bad night to the point that he gives up eight runs in one inning and is then pulled.
I'm a proud fan of the Minnesota Twins and Dallas Cowboys!
"Life is precious and time is a key element. Let’s make every moment count and help those who have a greater need than our own." – Harmon Killebrew
Champagne SuperTolbert Saves the day!!!
Go eat some McDonald's® McChicken McNuggets®
"Don't take life for granted, because tomorrow isn't promised to any one of us." -Kirby Puckett
#OccupyTwinkieTown
by less cowbell, more 'neau on Nov 3, 2011 6:40 PM EDT up reply actions 2 recs
Did you get first post in the imaginary gamethread?
by ColossusOfRhode on Nov 2, 2011 3:53 PM EDT up reply actions
No
Myjah was the winner. Twinsgirl talked her into eating uncooked pasta.
I'm a proud fan of the Minnesota Twins and Dallas Cowboys!
"Life is precious and time is a key element. Let’s make every moment count and help those who have a greater need than our own." – Harmon Killebrew
Champagne SuperTolbert Saves the day!!!
Am I the only one...
that thinks this leads to other types of fan fiction? and that it’s creepy?
by y2jayjk on Nov 2, 2011 12:17 PM EDT reply actions 2 recs
Yeah, because TT is normally free of fan fiction.
(Pavstache & Sweet Drew, Scenes From An Offseason, etc.)
WFTDA Championship Tournament: Minnesota RollerGirls vs Charm City Roller Girls - Friday 11/11 at 3:00 pm central. Broadcast online at derbyaccess.com
Mauer's knees are in perfect shape
Morneau/Span have no concussions . . . Liriano reverts to 2007 . . . Cuddyer and Kubel play for peanuts . . . Nishioka plays like an MLBer . . . the team wins a playoff series . . . aargh!
Steve Goodman lives.
-And Gardy compliments Hunter Wendelstedt on calling a great game.
WFTDA Championship Tournament: Minnesota RollerGirls vs Charm City Roller Girls - Friday 11/11 at 3:00 pm central. Broadcast online at derbyaccess.com
by Flip27 on Nov 2, 2011 2:31 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
or Joe West on his charming personality.
WFTDA Championship Tournament: Minnesota RollerGirls vs Charm City Roller Girls - Friday 11/11 at 3:00 pm central. Broadcast online at derbyaccess.com
by Flip27 on Nov 2, 2011 2:32 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
Now we're getting into those creepy types of fan fiction y2jayjk foretold
:-p
by ColossusOfRhode on Nov 2, 2011 3:52 PM EDT up reply actions
I started an evil trend...
"I don't really give a f*** and my excuse is that I'm young, and I'm only getting older somebody shoulda told ya" ~Drake (I'm On One)
and Luke conveniently has an adorable little brother my age who I marry...
"I don't really give a f*** and my excuse is that I'm young, and I'm only getting older somebody shoulda told ya" ~Drake (I'm On One)
by twinsgirl197 on Nov 2, 2011 10:16 PM EDT up reply actions
'Tis fate, obviously.
I mean, Mchokozie already acts like an overly protective older sister to me, so it’s obviously just destiny that I will marry her future husband’s little brother! lol
"I don't really give a f*** and my excuse is that I'm young, and I'm only getting older somebody shoulda told ya" ~Drake (I'm On One)
by twinsgirl197 on Nov 2, 2011 10:52 PM EDT up reply actions
...I didn't think that one through...
And I’d suggest you go out with my brother but no girl should go through that… lol
"I don't really give a f*** and my excuse is that I'm young, and I'm only getting older somebody shoulda told ya" ~Drake (I'm On One)
by twinsgirl197 on Nov 2, 2011 11:00 PM EDT up reply actions
Revere's height has no bearing on his ability to succeed in the game.
…only that he grows a cannon-arm in place of his existing limp-noodley one.
"...and we'll see ya tomorrow night!" - Jack Buck, Game 6, 1991 World Series
by WindyCityTwinsFan on Nov 2, 2011 2:34 PM EDT up reply actions
mchokozie sighting!
I’ve been meaning to ask. Where did this username come from?
hiiiiii
so mchokozie is a Swahili word meaning “pest” and I was called that in college by some of my friends from Kenya. (in a nice way, they swear, lol)
Awesome
That is a better reason than I could’ve made up
ZOMG SHE'S COME BACK FROM TWITTERLAND!!!
"I don't really give a f*** and my excuse is that I'm young, and I'm only getting older somebody shoulda told ya" ~Drake (I'm On One)
by twinsgirl197 on Nov 2, 2011 10:14 PM EDT up reply actions
I'm surprised
there isn’t more vitriol in this comment based on…. well, embarrassing you in front of Danny’s twitter timeline.
that v word... I'm confused.. and google confused me more...
and yeah, and Brian’s… Thanks Archie… Thanks….
"I don't really give a f*** and my excuse is that I'm young, and I'm only getting older somebody shoulda told ya" ~Drake (I'm On One)
by twinsgirl197 on Nov 2, 2011 10:23 PM EDT up reply actions
oh ok :)
I gets it now….
"I don't really give a f*** and my excuse is that I'm young, and I'm only getting older somebody shoulda told ya" ~Drake (I'm On One)
by twinsgirl197 on Nov 2, 2011 10:32 PM EDT up reply actions
You planted the idea in his brain...
You are partially to blame…
"I don't really give a f*** and my excuse is that I'm young, and I'm only getting older somebody shoulda told ya" ~Drake (I'm On One)
by twinsgirl197 on Nov 2, 2011 10:53 PM EDT up reply actions
Haha that's the plan :D
"I don't really give a f*** and my excuse is that I'm young, and I'm only getting older somebody shoulda told ya" ~Drake (I'm On One)
by twinsgirl197 on Nov 2, 2011 11:01 PM EDT up reply actions
You'll be lucky
If a Twins player hits a foul ball right into your face.
Note: that actually happened to Denard Span’s mother during a spring training game.
I'm a proud fan of the Minnesota Twins and Dallas Cowboys!
"Life is precious and time is a key element. Let’s make every moment count and help those who have a greater need than our own." – Harmon Killebrew
Champagne SuperTolbert Saves the day!!!
It was her chest, I believe.
I was watching that game.
by spanspanspan on Nov 2, 2011 11:16 PM EDT up reply actions
I stand corrected.
I'm a proud fan of the Minnesota Twins and Dallas Cowboys!
"Life is precious and time is a key element. Let’s make every moment count and help those who have a greater need than our own." – Harmon Killebrew
Champagne SuperTolbert Saves the day!!!
..No hitting Mchokozie in the face!!!
"I don't really give a f*** and my excuse is that I'm young, and I'm only getting older somebody shoulda told ya" ~Drake (I'm On One)
Ok
But maybe Denard Span can do that to Robby or Gardy. Maybe something that would get Span on ESPN Sportscenter’s “Not Top 10 List.”
I'm a proud fan of the Minnesota Twins and Dallas Cowboys!
"Life is precious and time is a key element. Let’s make every moment count and help those who have a greater need than our own." – Harmon Killebrew
Champagne SuperTolbert Saves the day!!!
..No, Denard should just not hit anyone with a foul ball
Hitting people is bad, mmmkay?
"I don't really give a f*** and my excuse is that I'm young, and I'm only getting older somebody shoulda told ya" ~Drake (I'm On One)
by twinsgirl197 on Nov 3, 2011 6:51 PM EDT up reply actions 2 recs
Agreed
But it would just be an accident if it happened. Seriously, I would love to see somebody hit Target Center.
I'm a proud fan of the Minnesota Twins and Dallas Cowboys!
"Life is precious and time is a key element. Let’s make every moment count and help those who have a greater need than our own." – Harmon Killebrew
Champagne SuperTolbert Saves the day!!!
OK, just for you I will eventually..
.I’ll write it on my way to the giant cornfield this weekend, and try to post in from the hotel room or my brother’s dorm
"I don't really give a f*** and my excuse is that I'm young, and I'm only getting older somebody shoulda told ya" ~Drake (I'm On One)
In the post-game
Gardy gushes about how great Danny is and how he is the heart and soul of the organization.
I need a clever or funny signature, please send me suggestions.
And Robby lets Joe Mauer in so he can smack Danny with a shaving cream pie.
I'm a proud fan of the Minnesota Twins and Dallas Cowboys!
"Life is precious and time is a key element. Let’s make every moment count and help those who have a greater need than our own." – Harmon Killebrew
Champagne SuperTolbert Saves the day!!!
PS thanks for front paging this (I'm assuming Jesse :)
"I don't really give a f*** and my excuse is that I'm young, and I'm only getting older somebody shoulda told ya" ~Drake (I'm On One)
After reading some of the other recent fanposts,
I appreciate this one even more. Keep it up, twinsgirl197.
"Don't take life for granted, because tomorrow isn't promised to any one of us." -Kirby Puckett
#OccupyTwinkieTown
by less cowbell, more 'neau on Nov 3, 2011 4:01 PM EDT reply actions
haha I'll probably have a new one to post late Sunday too
I think I’m going to try to do this weekly, it was a lot of fun to write :)
"I don't really give a f*** and my excuse is that I'm young, and I'm only getting older somebody shoulda told ya" ~Drake (I'm On One)
Have Tsuyoshi Nishioka hit a homerun!
I would love that.
"It happened in the moment, and it happened." - Carlos Gomez
haha ok, just for you he'll hit one in the next game :)
"I don't really give a f*** and my excuse is that I'm young, and I'm only getting older somebody shoulda told ya" ~Drake (I'm On One)
If that happened in real life,
I don’t know what anybody would say. Seriously, people would announce the possible end of the world. Honestly, I would love to hear Dick Bremer’s call.
I'm a proud fan of the Minnesota Twins and Dallas Cowboys!
"Life is precious and time is a key element. Let’s make every moment count and help those who have a greater need than our own." – Harmon Killebrew
Champagne SuperTolbert Saves the day!!!

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