Building a Makeshift "Ace"
The Twins entered this offseason with more holes than Carlos Gomez's swing, and you can argue that the rotation ranks right at the top of the list. Every Twins starter aside from Carl Pavano spent time on the DL in 2011, and it's not as if health was their only issue. Brian Duensing allowed an absurd .947 OPS to right-handed hitters, Nick Blackburn racked up a staggering 11.1 H/9, and Francisco Liriano lost all semblance of control on the mound. Scott Baker saw his best season cut short by yet another injury, and even Pavano -- despite his health -- led the American League in hits allowed by a count of 32.
A look at the free agent market doesn't reveal much in the way of big names, but if you look a little deeper, there's a long shot to reel in some ace-caliber innings.
If there was a pitcher on the market who ranked in the all-time Top 10 K/9 ratios that could provide 200 innings, odds are he'd require a salary upwards of $15M-$20M per year, depending on age. But why do we focus so much on finding one source for that result? If the goal is to accumulate 200 innings, does it need to be limited to one pitcher?
Erik Bedard and Rich Harden are both tremendous injury risks. They're also both 80 innings or less from ranking in the Top 10 all-time strikeout ratios and combined for 212 innings with 216 strikeouts in 2011. There's no guarantee they combine for 200 innings again in 2012, but Bedard fired 129 frames, and Harden didn't miss a start after his July 1 debut. I'd like to see the Twins sign 'em both.
Harden may have posted an unsightly ERA, but his 3.68 xFIP suggests that he was plagued by his unnaturally high 15.6% HR/FB (league average and Harden's career mark are both around 10%). If the Twins can provide Harden, an extreme flyball pitcher, with a strong trio of defenders, he should be able to flourish at Target Field (when healthy). Adding a guy like David DeJesus would make a terrific outfield defense to compensate for Harden's affinity for aerial outs. Beyond that, Harden carried a reverse platoon split last year, and we know how unforgiving the left-center field power alley can be in Minneapolis. It's also worth noting that his velocity was up from a disastrous 2010, and was even stronger at the end of the season. And, for those still skeptical of Harden's ability based on his sky-high home run rates and ERA, keep this in mind: he had the nightmarish task of facing the Rangers or Yankees in 33% (5/15) of his starts. Two of those starts came at Yankee Stadium, with another coming in Arlington. That's a tough draw.
Bedard recovered from missing the whole 2010 season to throw 129.1 solid innings for the Mariners and Red Sox. Though his velocity was slightly down, he showed his best control (3.3 BB/9) since his Baltimore days, and he still managed to whiff an impressive 8.7 hitters per nine innings. Those kind of strikeout numbers are precisely the kind the Twins need to pursue.
Obviously, signing both players would mean a new-look rotation, at least for the beginning of the season when both (hopefully) are healthy. Pavano and Baker both deserve rotation spots, and Liriano's upside is too great to slot him elsewhere, despite his maddening inconsistency. That means that Duensing and his platoon split are likely returned to the bullpen, and Blackburn joins him as the long reliever. Yes, paying $4.75M to a long reliever is excessive, but realistically, the Twins can still expect Blackburn to make 15-20 starts because it's likely that Bedard and Harden will both miss time, and/or that Liriano will continue to struggle. Depth isn't a bad thing.
A rotation of Baker, Bedard, Harden, Pavano, and Liriano gives the Twins four starters who are capable of striking out eight or more per nine innings pitched (Pavano being the obvious exception), and would likely be possible by committing no more than a pair of one-year deals to the two newest members. I'd imagine Harden's guarantee wouldn't exceed $2M, while Bedard could require somewhere in the $5M-6M range. Both would obviously require further incentives based on innings pitched.
The odds of that rotation staying healthy for a whole season are virtually non-existent, but looking at the combination of Bedard and Harden as one entity who would cost about $7M-8M on a one-year deal gives the Twins a chance to field a competitive rotation that can be tough on any team in a short series. Obviously, there are numerous holes that still need to be filled (Justin Morneau insurance, right field, backup catcher, bullpen), but this is one way to cheaply gamble on some rotation upside. The Twins are probably in deep trouble if Morneau, Denard Span, and Joe Mauer aren't healthy anyway, but with a $100M+ payroll in the third year of a new stadium, I for one feel they should be trying to compete rather than rebuild. If those three come back healthy in 2012, and there's no rotation upgrades, that'll be a shame.
One plus to paying for veterans on one-year deals like this is that even if they work out to some extent and your team still struggles, they become part of the rebuilding process by becoming attractive trade chips. If it blows up, they're off the books before the 2012-2013 offseason -- a free agent class that looks much more appealing.
Am I crazy to actually be pulling for the Twins to sign two major injury risks? Probably. But hopefully they can provide as much as one solid rotation addition would at a below-market rate.
And, what pitcher wouldn't want to attempt to re-establish value in a park like Target Field? The Twins could very well be an attractive option to both targets, and both should be attractive to the Twins.
Steve Adams also writes for MLBTradeRumors.com and is a contributor for MLB.com Fantasy Baseball and 612sports.net. You can follow him on Twitter: @Adams_Steve
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I am a Bedard fan.
I hesitate to have 2 injury prone pitchers in the starting rotation, but the Twins don’t really have many options. Having Blackburn as a swing guy for insurance and emergency starts is a great idea. That is a rotation that could compete in the playoffs without being a complete financial burden. I say go for it.
Blackburn, Duensing, Hendricks
Seems like they have multiple guys who can swing into the rotation if one or both of the new guys got hurt.
Most important question...
What is the celebrity nickname of this two-headed starter?
Erich Bedarden
or
Rik Hardard
Rik Bedarden
easy choice
The Hochevar Principle: The future comes to all teams. Some teams wait for it. Those teams finish in last place a lot. -Joe Posnanski
by DaTwins on Nov 15, 2011 12:39 PM EST up reply actions 4 recs
Agreed...
LOVE this idea. I’d be all for it. I’d still look at dealing Blackburn, if at all possible, for a solid reliever from an NL club. That would kill two birds with one stone in filling a hole (relief pitching) AND saving a few million dollars (not to mention the next year of Blackburn’s contract as well). And we’d still have “insurance” rotation options in Slowey (I hope we keep him), Duensing (swing), Swarzak, and Hendriks. For one year, I’d be fine with those guys as guys that can step in if/when needed. It’s not like they’re any worse than Blackburn; in fact I’d argue every single one of those guys is better than him.
But otherwise I love this idea. We need to think out of the box if we want to both rebuild and retool at the same time. And I think this is a great way of accomplishing it. I still think we are not nearly as bad of a team as our record indicates last year. A healthy Mauer, Morneau, Span, Kubel (if he’s back), and Liriano (first normal offseason for him/innings in about 5 years) goes a LONG way towards that win total. With a couple of solid moves I would not be surprised at all to see us win a division title again this year in the ol Central.
oh, and to play this out, ideal staff with this arrangement:
Liriano
Baker
Bedard
Harden
Pavano (I’d actually look to deal Pavano for something similar to Blackburn if we could for the money reason, but otherwise, he’s fine for a year)
Bullpen:
New power RH option (Nathan/Broxton, etc.)
Michael Wuertz (gamble worth taking IMO)
new reliever from Blackburn trade
Perkins
Duensing
Slowey
Mijares
Swarzak/Hendriks (and Slowey/Duensiing above) all a phone call away when an injury occurs, either in relief or the rotation.
I think that’s a pretty decent group overall with a LOT of upside.
I agree with much of this
Grab both of those pitchers, deal Blackburn and Pavano for cheaper relief pitching. Keep Slowey and stick him in as the 5th starter. Keep Swarzak as the swingman. Hendriks is another good option for a 6th starter.
The downside with this approach is the cupboard looks pretty bare after this season if Bedard, Harden, Liriano and Pavano all leave. That means a rotation of Baker, Gibson, Hendriks and Slowey. I would consider signing Bedard to a 2 year deal.
Slowey won't go to the pen
and I believe he’s out of options so can’t be sent to AAA. And will be paid something around 2.8m. I just don’t see him on the Twins next year. He’ll either be traded or released.
but he shouldn't be...
that would be a big mistake as he’ll earn more than $2.8M in any FA contract he signs.
As for the cupboard for 2013, DJL, don’t forget that Gibson and potentially Wimmers should be ready in 2013. The timing of Gibson’s surgery means he should be “fully” ready (18 months) by 2013. So that’s 2 more guys in the mix. I still think we need to seriously consider extending Liriano right now while on the cheap. But that’s just me. It’s a gamble, but one well worth taking IMO.
Bit premature on Wimmers
Hard to say if Wimmers will be ready in 2013 since he hasn’t made it to AA yet. I am already counting on Gibson as a rookie to be the #2 starter. That’s pretty bare.
whoops...
missed that DJL. You’re right on Wimmers; I just find it “likely” that he’s ready in 2013. Either way they need another guy or two.
oh, and one other thing we should not neglect is the draft...
we can’t “count on it” right now, but it’s very possible with the #2 pick we could get, say, Mark Appel, and he’s a guy that should rise so quickly that he could very well be ready for a rotation spot in 2013. So we “might” have a crew of Baker/Gibson/Appel/Hendriks/Slowey/Wimmers. While not great, that might not be horrible. Though again, I’d still favor adding a couple of guys and/or extending Liriano.
I really think this is Liriano’s lowest point and we could extend him for a reasonable rate right now and reap some huge rewards.
Heck of a gamble
I mean, I’d support the team if they offered him something like 3/21 but why would Liriano take that going into his walk year? And something bigger 4/48 or longer could be crippling.
I was thinking along the lines of 4/$40M...
I think that puts risk on both the Twins and Liriano. And I think with his talent he’d still be tradeable even with a poor year in 2012, personally.
100% For This
I’m all about this. It was signings like this that helped the Yankees get to the postseason. Granted they had a more potent offense than ours currently looks, it’s still worth remembering that Bartolo Colon and Freddy Garcia — two guys who were minor league signings — were two major contributors to that team.
This would be great
I only hold out hope for one of the two. But even one would be a huge improvement over guys like Blackburn.
"You're thinking too much. Just have fun." -- Bennie "The Jet" Rodriguez in Sandlot
I wondered if the Twins were thinking about one of the two
But both is better, if the price is right. Good idea. I’m with DJL44 and DJSkillz that we don’t need all that much backup insurance since all our potential backups are about equally mediocre (probably no Santanas waiting in the wings.)
If the Twins go with low-risk, high-reward veterans to fill a lot of their holes while rebuilding the minors, I’d be a happy fan.
Steve Goodman lives.
This pretty much fits with what I had in mind, as a backseat GM
That is, sign two starters relatively cheap. My plan also included trying to deal Blackburn and Slowey, which might not be wise if the depth is needed.
love this idea
If health returns, you just plugged a major hole in the rotation cheap. My guess is that one works out, while the other flops… no idea on who, but either way, getting both really helps. The big problem is that forces you to basically non-tender slowey. While I suspect that’s probably going to happen at one point, I have a bad feeling that could bite us.
by diehardtwinsfan on Nov 15, 2011 11:23 AM EST reply actions
I don't think it does...
especially if you deal Pavano. Which is still quite possible.
to clarify...
i don’t think it “forces you to basically non-tender Slowey.”
I've been in favor of Bedard
But you just talked me into Hardin too. For the price, and with the guys we have who can start if needed, why not?
I like your creative thinking
I’ve been a Bedard fan for a while and wish he hadn’t had such hard luck. Time for the Twins to think outside the box.
The other teams could make trouble for us if they win. — Yogi Berra
Maybe if he would just...
harden up a little.
Ok, I’m not even amusing myself with that one.
by spanspanspan on Nov 15, 2011 12:14 PM EST up reply actions
So many inappropriate jokes just flew past my brain...
But, uh, yeah. Reliable starting pitchers… we need ’em.
by ColossusOfRhode on Nov 15, 2011 1:39 PM EST up reply actions
You should have seen what it said
Before I reworded it.
by spanspanspan on Nov 15, 2011 2:31 PM EST up reply actions
You got it, dude!
[I can’t believe I made a Michelle Tanner joke.]
by ColossusOfRhode on Nov 15, 2011 3:39 PM EST up reply actions
yikes
that was ugly
"live EVERY week like it's shark week" Tracy Jordan(30 Rock)
by carlpavanosmoustache on Nov 15, 2011 3:40 PM EST up reply actions
Now that made them Duke boys more plumb loco than a buzzard on a buzzsaw.
"Don't take life for granted, because tomorrow isn't promised to any one of us." -Kirby Puckett
#OccupyTwinkieTown
by less cowbell, more 'neau on Nov 15, 2011 4:37 PM EST up reply actions
I would rather see
I would much rather see a substantially larger restructuring of our long term pitching plans that this, involving trades and signings of both current and future players. I would much prefer that over a high-risk, short-term fix. I’m not interested in falling in love with a certain pitching design merely because of one statistic and the need to reject our franchises’s current system.
"You can't sit on a lead and run a few plays into the line and just kill the clock. You've got to throw the ball over the damn plate and give the other man his chance. That's why baseball is the greatest game of them all."
~ Earl Weaver
"In God we trust. All others must provide evidence."
~ Billy Beane
what's the current system?
Give up as many runs and hits as possible?
another nice benefit
if Mauer, Morneau, and Span don’t come back and one or both of these guys are pitching well, we might be able to solve that long term ace problem at the trade deadline.
by diehardtwinsfan on Nov 15, 2011 1:43 PM EST reply actions
I figure
The Twins have a few ways to get top of the rotation type guys
1) Sign rebound guys like Bedard/Harden for 1yr and get really lucky (combined they have had 2 4+ WAR season. Radke had 6. Neither ever pitched 200ip, Radke did it 9x).
2) Free agency – not much out there and it’s expensive.
3) Trades – top of the rotation types are expensive and unless we’re willing to move Sano, I don’t think we could beat other teams offers. On the other hand, we could get lucky and make a trade for an undervalued pitcher but it’s unlikely that that would be a true Santana-like ace but we could steal a “twins control like” pitcher from some team’s system. Remember, Shawn Marcum cost Mil Brett Lawrie.
4) Draft – With the #2 pick, we could get a pretty nice pitcher
I think both Bedard and Harden are silly risks to take. Next season they’ll be 30 and 33, both are 3-4 years (at least) from their last solid season. I’d rather the team bet on in-house guys like Slowey and Blackburn having comeback seasons after getting healthy themselves and/or see what Hendriks/Bromberg can do. I’d rather the team concentrate on improving the pen and adding more offense than worrying about the rotation.
Improving the rotation improves the bullpen
Adding 2 starters bumps Duensing and Swarzak to the bullpen where they belong. Trade Blackburn for another reliever and that’s 4 guys you can count on in the bullpen (incl Perkins).
I already assumed both those guys were in the pen
I figured Pavano, Baker and Liriano were locks for the rotation and Blackburn close to a lock. (Gardy loves him, Twins value his ability to eat innings, he doesn’t have much trade value right now and we’re committed to him. He still gives the team a quality start about half the time and with an improved defense …. anyway, I think we have to accept that he’ll be starting for us next year). That leaves the fifth spot open for Slowey (if we keep him) or Hendriks or other AAA type arms that can be had.
Incidentally, I forgot to add a #5 above – keep working in Latin America and internationally. Hendriks and Salcedo are nice signings and hopefully we can continue to add arms that way, too.
About drafting...
Some sources have suggested the Twins might pick Lucas Giolito #2 overall. Very big (6’6") RHP with a good fastball (clocked up to 98 mph) and plus curveball. But you can’t expect him to climb the system immediately. Help from this year’s draft is still 2-3 years away, at minimum.
by spanspanspan on Nov 15, 2011 2:10 PM EST up reply actions
depends on the pick...
some of the high-end guys, yes. others, no. Appel, for instance, should be a heavy contributor in 2013 for some team. I hope it’s us.
He's projected to go first
But if he doesn’t… I guess, go for it.
by spanspanspan on Nov 15, 2011 2:27 PM EST up reply actions
there's some debate...
about him, Marrero, and Zunino. No matter the Twins should be getting a stud at an area of need that will be ready sooner rather than later. But I must admit I’m hoping for Appel just because elite pitchers are so much harder to find than elite MI’s, IMO. A lot still needs to play out, obviously, with the college season yet to start.
I agree
It’s not last years draft (darnit) but Appel at #2 could be pretty exciting.
I'd be happy with any of those three
Or Giovito, as I mentioned above.
by spanspanspan on Nov 15, 2011 2:43 PM EST up reply actions
No HS pitchers with the 2nd pick
risk is just too much.
The Wolves are like the worst meal you've ever had--terrible while you're eating it and even worse later.
by Eric in Madison on Nov 15, 2011 3:04 PM EST up reply actions
Pretty low risk, though, isn't it?
We are talking about signing these guys for 1 year for not much money.
Whereas Blackburn and Slowey have never produced that the level that Bedard and Harden were once capable of. Sticking with them sounds like no-risk, no-reward to me. They will be the guys they’ve been, and that’s not very good.
Depends
Blackburn was nearly a 3 bWAR pitcher in 09 and he had strong stretches in 10 and 11 when healthy. Admittedly, his value came more from eating innings than anything but that’s a real issue with our pen. I think I’d bet on him giving us another 2009 like season before I’d bet on Bedard giving us a 2009 season.
That said, I’m not going to be upset if the Twins do decide to go that route but I don’t think it’ll be as likely to succeed as others.
I like this idea, but my only real issue
is that it would put the Twins in a very precarious position for next season. Think of it this way.
Bedard – Free agent after 2012
Harden – Free agent after 2012
Pavano – Free agent after 2012
Liriano – Free agent after 2012
Baker – Option available for 2013, otherwise free agent after 2012
Blackburn would be entering his final contract season, and Slowey (if he’s still around) would be entering his final arbitration season.
The Twins need to be thinking about the future. Don’t get me wrong, I love short-term FAs (we all know that, my blueprint had me signing 9 free agents, 6 on one-year deals…but they were position players), but if we’re thinking worst case scenario (Liriano elects free agency, Baker’s option isn’t worth being picked up), after next season we’d be looking forward to a rotation in 2013 that starred Blackburn, Duensing, and probably guys like Hendriks and Wimmers.
The next wave of Twins starters hasn’t really developed as expected, and so under the circumstances if the Twins are going to bring in more than one starting pitcher I’d like to see them make a good decision on a multi-year choice…even if it’s just two years.
I agree
Why not sign Bedard and Harden to two-year deals with options? I’m pretty sure they won’t sign for fewer years anyway.
Then extend Liriano while his contract demands are low. If you extend Baker’s option, that’s four for 2013. We ought to be able to come up with a fifth guy from within by 2013.
"You're thinking too much. Just have fun." -- Bennie "The Jet" Rodriguez in Sandlot
Just an example:
In 2012 we’re talking about paying Bedard and Harden $8m between them, Liriano $6m or so, and Pavano $8.5m. That’s enough money coming off to actually sign someone. Would you be really upset at a 2013 rotation of, say, Hamels, Baker, Gibson, Duensing, and Hendriks?
Say Baker is really bad and you decline his option, that gives you another $9m to play with. Throw in a couple extra from payroll growth and sign somebody like John Danks. That rotation still looks pretty good, and much more playoff-ready than we’ve seen since Santana was here.
And that’s not even considering that you might get something good back for Bedard or Harden at the deadline.
That's an element I hadn't thought of
Still, if your concern is starters departing via FA, the solution seems to be a multiyear deal on free agency. I’d rather give out that deal after this season, when the market consists of Hamels, Greinke, Cain, Marcum, Anibal Sanchez, Colby Lewis, and John Danks.
I’d be ok with the concept of signing Bedard to a reasonable two-year deal (I think 2/12 would probably be tough for him to turn down unless he’s really convinced of his ability to stay healthy this year and land a three-year deal next offseason).
I actually wonder if Bedard might even require a two-year deal. After I wrote this, Rosenthal tweeted that Bruce Chen has multiple two-year offers. I know Chen’s been healthier, but Bedard might think “I’m a much better pitcher than Chen” and hold out for two himself if Bruce gets one.
Ya, that's a great theory...
but it’s highly unlikely any of those guys make it to FA.
Lewis and Danks are not aces, or even potential aces, IMO. Lewis is a #3, Danks is maybe a #2, IMO. Marcum is also more of a #3 on an AL club. Hamels/Greinke/Cain/Sanchez will all either be extended by their current teams or traded and extended in the process during the year or before this season. That’s just the way of the world now for ace pitching. The best ones don’t make it to FA much, if any, anymore. Look at this year; only CC was on the market for “aces” and let’s be honest; like Jeter and ARod before him, he was a FA in name only; he was always going to go back to the Yankees. No, if we want an ace, we either need Liriano to rebound to his ace form (like 2010), to develop one, or to trade heavy prospects for one. I’m hoping for 2 out of those 3 within the next couple of years.
This
I wouldn’t count on guys being available in 2013. In the past, the Twins have gone through free agency with a wait-and-see attitude. By the time we got involved, we scraped the bottom of the barrel. Waiting for next year on free agency takes this view to extremes.
What is refreshing about how Ryan is going about his business is he’s not waiting. He’s contacting agents and kicking tires. Hopefully, this means we actually sign some quality players in free agency.
"You're thinking too much. Just have fun." -- Bennie "The Jet" Rodriguez in Sandlot
I always wanted to see what Terry Ryan could do with some $$
Now we get to see that.
My point wasn't to reel in a #1 type starter
Just to solidify the rotation beyond Baker and keep it competitive. Jesse’s concern was the whole rotation leaving. I think it’s a legitimate concern, but was merely pointing out the depth of that class. Not all of them will make it to FA, but if they can sign a guy like Danks or Anibal Sanchez for 3-4 years, exercise Baker’s option, put Gibson in the 2013 rotation, and then count on a couple of internal options (Hendriks, Blackburn, etc.), I don’t think it’d be the worst thing in the world.
The Twins will probably never sign a pitcher to a huge long-term deal, but I don’t think it’s necessarily a bad thing. Most of those contracts don’t work out. My point was that with more plentiful options on the free agent market, some of the second-tier guys will be more affordable. I don’t know that I’d want to see the Twins commit 6/120 to Cole Hamels (or any pitcher), honestly.
but that's still probably a pipe dream...
those “studs” won’t even make FA in all likelihood. They’ll be extended or traded/extended before that point, so you’ll still be left with the new CJ Wilsons (Danks/Lewis, etc.) on the market as the top dogs, and they’ll get the fat, overinflated contracts.
Let me one-up you
Do this and use a 6-man rotation which, whenever one of our starters is inevitably hurt despite the extra day of rest, turns into a 5-man rotation!
This is a great article.
Good stuff!
"Life is precious and time is a key element. Let's make every moment count and help those who have a greater need than our own." -Harmon Killebrew
Very well thought-out
I think this is what they need to do anyway. It might be a risk, sure, but it would provide new blood in the rotation and the best payoff is that it would move it in the right direction. In the very least, I wouldn’t have to watch Brian Duensing start. Anyway, rec’d.
When I was a kid, I would cover a blue futon with a white blanket, prop it up with a fan set on high, and pretend it was the Metrodome. That should tell you a lot.
by MarshalltheIrish on Nov 15, 2011 9:02 PM EST reply actions
Oh man that would be a rotation that I could live with
buuuuut I am still reeling from the BS (Bill Smith) days and can’t imagine a sensible move like this.
JIM JAMS BUSINESS IS MASHING TATERS, AND BUSINESS IS GOOD!!!
Little risk, (possible) high rewards
Love it
"Baseball, it is said, is only a game. True. And the Grand Canyon is only a hole in Arizona." ~George F. Will
Twins are supposedly in on Buehrle talks
But so are 12 other teams, according to MLBTR.
I think I’d prefer the Bedard/Harden thing.
just say no...
there’s no player in the entire sport that I hate more than Buehrle.
Really?
I mean… I think he’s overrated, but what has he done to deserve such hate?
by spanspanspan on Nov 16, 2011 5:52 PM EST up reply actions
He's killed us at times
But that makes me respect him, not hate him.
he hates us...
and constantly talks about it. He’s basically Hawk as a player, constantly dismissing the Twins and the fact that we’ve dominated his Sox over the years.
I guess I'd assume
That changes if he’s wearing the right outfit.
I don't care...
I want him nowhere near my team. He’s always been overrated and will be overpaid anyway.
Yeah
Hopefully he vetoes any MN deal. I read the Cubs were going after him anyway.
"Don't take life for granted, because tomorrow isn't promised to any one of us." -Kirby Puckett
#OccupyTwinkieTown
by less cowbell, more 'neau on Nov 16, 2011 8:14 PM EST up reply actions
That's saying something
Manny, Bonds, A-Roid, Clemens…
"You're thinking too much. Just have fun." -- Bennie "The Jet" Rodriguez in Sandlot
I always liked Bonds and Manny...
Steroids or no, those are two of the greatest players of all-time. Same can be said for Arod and Clemens, and I don’t like those 2, but I don’t have nearly the hate for them that I do for the douchebag that is Girly.

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