Joe Mauer is Getting Married.

My plans are foiled!

But really, congrats to Joe.

by ColossusOfRhode on Dec 11, 2011 6:36 PM EST reply actions

That sound you're hearing

That’s every Joe Mauer fangirl (and gay fanboy… okay, a few straight fanboys, too) killing themselves upon hearing this news.

Seriously, I couldn’t be happier for Joe-Joe and wish him well.

by leo3375 on Dec 11, 2011 6:39 PM EST via mobile reply actions

ide do it for the money

lol just no pre nup dammit joe im too wholesome for pre nups plus its already been established he is a catcher.

first-worst-first?

by holymackerel on Dec 11, 2011 7:05 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs

Pffft to me, guys. Duh.

Haha just kidding, happy for him and hope for a long happy marriage for them :)

"The problem with baseball is that it is not played year round" -Gaylord Perry

by twinsgirl197 on Dec 11, 2011 6:40 PM EST reply actions

I like beer too much to be with Joe.

Meaning I drink more than one beer a week/moth. :/

"It happened in the moment, and it happened." - Carlos Gomez

by myjah on Dec 11, 2011 6:47 PM EST reply actions

Unintentionally hilarious

:(

"It happened in the moment, and it happened." - Carlos Gomez

by myjah on Dec 11, 2011 7:50 PM EST up reply actions

Hopefully his family life quickly deteriorates and he pours himself into his work as a distraction!

I mean, “Congratulations!”

by Luke in MN on Dec 11, 2011 7:25 PM EST reply actions

Congrats!!!

Couldn’t be happier for you Joe!! Hope you and Maddie are very happy!!

by WSBound2010 on Dec 11, 2011 7:29 PM EST reply actions

Joe's official statement

http://www.twincities.com/twins/ci_19526008

All together now: AWWWWW!

by leo3375 on Dec 11, 2011 7:41 PM EST via mobile reply actions

I’m kind of a sucker for when people say they are marrying their best friend though… But also at that my cousin yelled “BUT JOE! JUSTIN IS ALREADY MARRIED SO YOU CAN’T MARRY YOUR BEST FRIEND!!! DON’T RUIN THIS BROMANCE, JOE!!!” I’m convinced there is somethign wrong with my cousin….

"The problem with baseball is that it is not played year round" -Gaylord Perry

by twinsgirl197 on Dec 11, 2011 7:51 PM EST up reply actions

Joe already cheated on Justin with JJ

I mean they spent the weekend in the cabin fishing… no wonder the team traded him to Bmore for a bag of balls…

by caluofmn on Dec 11, 2011 10:15 PM EST up reply actions

Awww poor Justin...

"The problem with baseball is that it is not played year round" -Gaylord Perry

by twinsgirl197 on Dec 11, 2011 10:25 PM EST up reply actions

BFFs

And TFFs (Twins Friends Forever) too, I hope! They just won’t share a bachelor pad together anymore.

"Don't take life for granted, because tomorrow isn't promised to any one of us." -Kirby Puckett
#OccupyTwinkieTown

by less cowbell, more 'neau on Dec 12, 2011 9:06 AM EST up reply actions

So she got him through last year

Well that explains the bilateral leg weakness!
// Drum rimshot
//Cue laughter

"Don't take life for granted, because tomorrow isn't promised to any one of us." -Kirby Puckett
#OccupyTwinkieTown

by less cowbell, more 'neau on Dec 11, 2011 9:23 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs

at least you didn't go for the pulled groin injury...

rimshot

by caluofmn on Dec 11, 2011 10:15 PM EST up reply actions

Congrats Joe!

I always thought we were going to get married, but I’m happy for ya.

Follow me on twitter: @tara_novotny

by taralynn09 on Dec 11, 2011 9:17 PM EST reply actions

Congrats Joe and Maddie!

"Don't take life for granted, because tomorrow isn't promised to any one of us." -Kirby Puckett
#OccupyTwinkieTown

by less cowbell, more 'neau on Dec 11, 2011 9:24 PM EST reply actions

Congrats Joe!

"Somebody once asked me if I ever went up to the plate trying to hit a home run. I said, 'Sure, every time." --Mickey Mantle

by ilovethetwins on Dec 11, 2011 9:40 PM EST reply actions

Maddie Mauer?

People just shouldn’t do that…

(Congrats!)

by spanspanspan on Dec 11, 2011 9:44 PM EST reply actions

Edit:

I’m not saying she’s required to change her name.

by spanspanspan on Dec 11, 2011 9:45 PM EST up reply actions

I can't say I approve or disapprove of this....

until we see a pic.

by DJSkillz on Dec 11, 2011 10:02 PM EST reply actions

it's true

see where his confidence level is at after last season

REPORTER: What do you think is happening to the team?
MICHAEL RAY RICHARDSON: The ship be sinking.
REPORTER: How far can it sink?
MICHAEL RAY RICHARDSON: Sky's the limit.

by uofmike on Dec 11, 2011 10:31 PM EST up reply actions

I just want to be the first to congratulate

Joe and Fischean…

by caluofmn on Dec 11, 2011 10:18 PM EST reply actions

I thought Joe was marrying montanatwinsfan

"Nobody wants to hear me rap." - Joe Mauer
"The more toppings a man has on his pizza, I believe the more manly he is." - Herman Cain

by what_would_gil_thorp_do on Dec 11, 2011 10:50 PM EST up reply actions

I think he's the hetero-lifemate

by caluofmn on Dec 11, 2011 11:38 PM EST up reply actions

He already has a harim of sheep

"You're thinking too much. Just have fun." -- Bennie "The Jet" Rodriguez in Sandlot

by cmathewson on Dec 12, 2011 12:09 PM EST up reply actions

Hahaha

Joe was never really my type… :)

WordUpThome: BOOM, HAND HUGGED

by fischean on Dec 11, 2011 11:56 PM EST up reply actions

I didn't know

Mark Rosen changed his name to Maddie…

REPORTER: What do you think is happening to the team?
MICHAEL RAY RICHARDSON: The ship be sinking.
REPORTER: How far can it sink?
MICHAEL RAY RICHARDSON: Sky's the limit.

by uofmike on Dec 11, 2011 10:32 PM EST reply actions

Congrats, Joe!

"Baseball, it is said, is only a game. True. And the Grand Canyon is only a hole in Arizona." ~George F. Will

by SooFoo Fan on Dec 11, 2011 10:41 PM EST reply actions

Congrats Joe!

"Nobody wants to hear me rap." - Joe Mauer
"The more toppings a man has on his pizza, I believe the more manly he is." - Herman Cain

by what_would_gil_thorp_do on Dec 11, 2011 10:50 PM EST reply actions

Grats Joe!

For the curious, this is her (the bridesmaid):

by Purpledork on Dec 11, 2011 10:57 PM EST reply actions

Oh Damn

Way to go Joe

by Caulfield on Dec 11, 2011 11:21 PM EST up reply actions

it's good to be the king

by caluofmn on Dec 11, 2011 11:42 PM EST up reply actions

She's in the center of this picture on page 53

http://www.cretin-derhamhall.org/files/cdh/files/hberrisford/CDH%20Annual%20Report%20Final%2051.pdf

Remember, remember the seventh of November.

by Go Twins! on Dec 12, 2011 12:19 PM EST up reply actions

HAHA

You sure about that?

by Caulfield on Dec 12, 2011 1:28 PM EST up reply actions

Yes Page 53 not the cover page

Remember, remember the seventh of November.

by Go Twins! on Dec 12, 2011 6:53 PM EST up reply actions

So Glen you want the beef, chicken, or salmon

I need to know by Tuesday b/c that’s when we’re meeting with the wedding planner and blah blah blah…

Glen: Oh gawd it’s starting already…

Congrats Joe, wishing you much happiness

by caluofmn on Dec 11, 2011 11:45 PM EST reply actions 2 recs

Haha.

Gardy: Come on Perk! The right answer is all three!

by spanspanspan on Dec 11, 2011 11:51 PM EST up reply actions

Joe Mauer to Gardy

You are not invited, you will pig out at the refreshments.

I'm a proud fan of the Minnesota Twins and Dallas Cowboys!
"Life is precious and time is a key element. Let’s make every moment count and help those who have a greater need than our own." – Harmon Killebrew
Champagne SuperTolbert Saves the day!!!

Check out my eBay items.

by Jessy S on Dec 12, 2011 3:34 AM EST up reply actions

New meme for 2012?

We’ve joked about Joe’s rather vanilla public persona. So now are we throwing jokes about wedding planning into the mix, too?

by leo3375 on Dec 11, 2011 11:55 PM EST up reply actions

x

Joe: /dials phone

Joe: Hey, Jim, I know you’re with the Phillies now, but I want to invite you to my wedding.

Jim: OF COURSE JI

Jim: JIM WILL COME TO YOUR WEDDINGED PARTY

Joe: Oh, good. Will you want the beef, the chic—

Jim: OX

Joe: What? You didn’t let me finish and that wasn’t an option.

Jim: BABE IS GETTING OLD AND NEEDS THE YOUTH OF ASIA

Joe: Uh… the what?

Jim: YOU REMEMBER BABE, THE GIANT OX WHAT TAKES A MURDER OF CROWS ALL DAY TO CROSS?

Joe: Umm… Jim, that was a commercial.

Jim: IT WAS REAL YOU KNOW IT. JIM WILL BRING BABE HAVE SOMEONE THERE COMPTROLLING THE COOKING OPERATIONS.

Joe: Uhh… ok, I’ll call Delmon and Drew.

by spanspanspan on Dec 12, 2011 12:10 AM EST up reply actions 9 recs

Awesome.

by Purpledork on Dec 12, 2011 12:13 AM EST up reply actions

I only take about 5% credit

http://withleather.uproxx.com/2011/04/the-dugout-al-central-folklore
and
http://withleather.uproxx.com/2011/04/the-dugout-hello-old-friend

Provided most of it. TT memes provided most of the rest.

by spanspanspan on Dec 12, 2011 3:23 AM EST up reply actions

by DJL44 on Dec 12, 2011 10:35 AM EST reply actions

She's a beard, folks

Steve Goodman lives.

by twinsbrewer on Dec 12, 2011 11:20 AM EST reply actions

She's from a good family

I actually rented an apartment from one of her relatives back in the day. They have huge holdings.

"You're thinking too much. Just have fun." -- Bennie "The Jet" Rodriguez in Sandlot

by cmathewson on Dec 12, 2011 12:43 PM EST reply actions

Upper class/pristinely pretty

= Beard.

Steve Goodman lives.

by twinsbrewer on Dec 12, 2011 12:49 PM EST up reply actions

The story called Joe a "notorious bachelor."

So how accurate can it be?

by Flip27 on Dec 12, 2011 1:45 PM EST reply actions

Not very

This is the guy who kicked Morneau out because he kept having his girlfriend (and eventual wife) stay the night. According to Justin, “Joe doesn’t allow overnight female guests.”

"You're thinking too much. Just have fun." -- Bennie "The Jet" Rodriguez in Sandlot

by cmathewson on Dec 12, 2011 1:49 PM EST up reply actions