Help: Twins Players Nicknames?

by Gornara on Feb 1, 2011 11:54 PM EST

I know The Common Man did this with a few players, but I though with the season just around the corner, we could come up with some fun nicknames for our current Twins players. I've been thinking about this at work for the past week (don't tell my boss) and I think this would be kind of fun. Many of these may have been coined from somebody already, but lets see who can come up with the best. Feel free criticise, make up your own, or improve mine.

Here is my list:

C: Joe "Warning Track Power" Mauer

1B: Justin "I fight bears and drink maple syrup" Morneau

2B: Tsuyoshi "I am in the end credits of mario bros" Nishioka

3B: Danny "Hide your daughters" Valencia

SS: Alexi "Caught Looking" Casilla

LF: Delmon "I swing at every first pitch" Young

CF: Denard "Lets Get Denarded" Span

RF: Micheal "Inning Ending Double Play" Cuddyer

DH: Jason "The Only Prescription is More" Kubel

DH: Jim "Thome is my Homme" Thome

P: Carl "Pavstach" Pavano

P: Francisco "Cisco Kid" Liriano

P: "Big Spot Scott" Baker

P: Kevin "Slow-Ride" Slowey

P: Nick "Blackburn singing in the dead of night" Blackburn

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Here's some

Joe “Flauer Pauer” Mauer
Justin “Less Yes” Morneau
Tsuyoshi “Banzai Bat” Nishioka
Danny “Hebrew Hurricane” Valencia
Alexi “Chin Pubes” Casilla
Delmon “Getzpastem” Young
Denard “Collision Course” Span
Michael “WTF” Cuddyer
Jason “Cudubel” Kubel
Jim “Mashin’ Taters” Thome
Carl “You better grow back that f***ing mustache” Pavano
Francisco “Dominican (something that starts with D)” Liriano
Scott Baker, “Protector of draws, Destroyer of leads”
Kevin “Managed to get pulled from a no-hitter” Slowey
Nick “Big Time Blackbeard” Blackburn
“SIMC” Somewhat inept Matt Capps
and of course Ron “Standing on my head” Gardenhire

"Baseball is the only major sport that appears backward in a mirror" ~George Carlin

by thewild_viking_twins on Feb 2, 2011 12:21 AM EST reply actions

a few i like...

Danny “Fist-pumpin’ Danny V” Valencia
Alexi “Sexy Lexi” Casilla
Denard “The Nard-Dog” Span
Michael “Cuddy Buddy” Cuddyer
Francisco “Frankie Franchise” Liriano
Nick “Blackbeard” Blackburn
Brian “B. Diddy” Duensing
Scott “Candlestick Maker” Baker
Ron “Lawn Gnome” Gardenhire
Matt “Baby Morneau” Tolbert
Anthony “Slama Da Door Shut” Slama
Drew “Butters” Butera
Ben “Rev” Revere
Jason “Koob-stick” Kubel
Jose “Venezuela Fats” Mijares
Justin “Porneau” Morneau

silly penguins, acting all fancy

by sillypenguin on Feb 2, 2011 3:48 AM EST reply actions

hmmm....

Michael “Cuddles” Cuddyer- when he is good.
Michael “Cuddyarrhea” Cuddyer – when he is bad.
Matt “Sugar High” Tolbert
Jose “Baconator” Mijares
Tsuyoshi “Dave” Nishioka – It’s just easier to say.
Denard “Sleepy” Span – Maybe it’s just me but the guy always looks tired.
Alexi “Piss Whiskers” Casilla
Jason “Pull-ball” Repko – or “Pull” for short.
Scott “ummmm….go…wait…yeah go….” Ullger
Drew “Backstop” Butera
Pat “Rock skipping champ of Minnesota” Neshek
Delmon “Clown Car” Young – For his crazy, circular routes to fly balls.
Delmon “Ten and Two” Young. – When he walks, his big toes point at ten o’clock and two o’clock. I swear. Just watch next time.
Danny “Gigiddy” Valencia

by sheet stain on Feb 2, 2011 4:40 AM EST reply actions

LOL @ Dave

"It happened in the moment, and it happened." - Carlos Gomez

by myjah on Feb 2, 2011 11:45 AM EST up reply actions

Let's see how many stick

This makes me wish BatGirl would write a blog now & then. The archetype nickname blog entry.

"Don't take life for granted, because tomorrow isn't promised to any one of us." -Kirby Puckett
"Gardy MOY. Feel great disturbance in Force. As if millions of Internet cranks cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced." -BatGirl

by less cowbell, more 'neau on Feb 2, 2011 9:13 AM EST reply actions

....

“Homerun Maker” Baker

After a small kitchen fire occured at Target the Minnesota Twins bullpen was on the scene first and soon the fire became a raging inferno.

by minnietwinkie on Feb 2, 2011 12:20 PM EST reply actions

Moonshot Scott.

俳句！

by fischean on Feb 2, 2011 1:56 PM EST up reply actions

I like this one a lot, even though I like Scott Baker.

It has that invincible grade-school nastiness to it. It’s punchy, plays on a perceived weakness, and rhymes. I also like “Flower Row Joe” a lot for the same reason, which someone (I think Old Twins Cap) came up with this season. It’s a Target-Field-ification of “Front Row Joe,” which was Mauer’s nickname when he was hitting them into the front row of seats in left at the Dome.

Other winners:
Chairman Mauer/the Chairman (should be coupled with a picture)
“White Castle” for Liriano (F-Bomb, ’Cisco Kid, and the Francisco Treat are also acceptable)
Twitchy McXanex for Nathan
I enjoyed the various acronyms tracing the relative ineptitude of Matt Capps (SIMC, etc.). Extra points for interactivity.
I sort of like D-SPAN too.

I think around here LNP is just about the most successful in terms of actual use. Cuddles is another one that I give props to mainly just because it seems to stick.

by Luke in MN on Feb 2, 2011 3:06 PM EST up reply actions

Oh, I don't dislike Baker either.

But if you do something enough, people will start to take notice. And run with it. :)

俳句！

by fischean on Feb 2, 2011 6:01 PM EST up reply actions

I'm eagerly awaiting gamethreads to return

Most of our best nicknames seem to come out of gamethreads

This was a triumph
I'm making a note here - huge success

by what_would_gil_thorp_do on Feb 2, 2011 6:23 PM EST reply actions

I like Valencia's

Will that ever get old? (personally I highly doubt it)

by twinsgirl197 on Feb 2, 2011 7:33 PM EST reply actions

Me too

I love the “hide your daughters” nickname for Valencia! So true!!

by jujee on Feb 3, 2011 1:20 PM EST reply actions

Titles

A little different than nicknames, but something important that each person does:

Scott Baker: The Out Maker
Nick Blackburn: Commanding Stinker
Delmon Young: slugger
Justin Morneau: Slugger
Jim Thome: SLUGGER
Michael Cuddyer: That open sore in your mouth that some times starts to bleed and you try and cover it up by spending lots of money to get it fixed and hope it cooperates, but you can’t get it to just settle down, so finally you adopt it and say it has character and even though it detracts from the beautiful experiences to be had in life, when you need to spit blood for emphasis, no matter the occasion or where you are, it’s right there to do it. (With LNP gone, someone who sucks has to be called out.)

by haroldwiggins on Feb 3, 2011 3:33 PM EST reply actions