Remarkably Uninformed Preview 2011: Chicago White Sox
by RandBall's Stu on Mar 18, 2011 10:45 AM EDT
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(Over the next four weeks, Twinkie Town's RandBall's Stu will take a look at the four teams trying to snatch the AL Central crown from your Minnesota Twins. They will be neither thorough nor terribly accurate, and probably contain at least one sentence that SB Nation's lawyers will have to defend in court on the grounds that accusations of booger-eating are protected speech. Really should have done what Dad said and gone to med school, barrister.)
Who: Chicago White Sox
Last Year's Record: 88-74
Projected 2011 Record: roughly the same. Let's give 'em 90.
Key Additions: Adam Dunn, Lastings Milledge, Will Ohman, Jesse Crain and his stupid bleeping necklace.
Key Departures: Bobby Jenks and his stupid bleeping facial hair, Andruw Jones, Scott Linebrink, ManRam, J.J. Putz, Mark Kotsay, Freddy Garcia.
Chris Sale's Favorite Belle & Sebastian Album: Fold Your Hands Child, You Walk Like a Peasant. There are unconfirmed reports that he has the lyrics for "I Fought in a War" tattooed on his torso.
Does A.J. Pierzynski Eat Boogers: he has never denied it. His silence speaks volumes.
Outlook: the consensus seems to be that if anyone is going to unseat the Twins in the AL Central, it will be the Whities. Adam Dunn's signing was universally praised, Jake Peavy appears to finally be healthy, and Ozzie Guillen has only been fighting with former White Sox, not current ones. What this all means: that early-September series at Target Field should be fraught with meaning. Fraught, I say!
Other Items of Interest:
- I really want to see Jim Thome bat against Jesse Crain. My White Sox fan doppelganger is probably saying the same thing about Adam Dunn and Scott Baker.
- Who replaces Jenks as the closer? Matt Thornton is the front-runner, with Sale also in the mix.
- If you're on the Twitter, you could do a lot worse than following @NotHawk, who is just like Hawk Harrelson, only funny on purpose.
- Also, it's a good sign that the regular season needs to start soon when you kind of miss being aggravated by Harrelson's schtick.
- The following players were on the 1989 Seattle Mariners with Sox SS Omar Vizquel: Steve Trout, Harold Reynolds, Dave Valle, Mike Kingery (WHAT UP ATWATER) and Alvin Davis. He's old, is what I'm getting at.
- It's Frieeeedeayyyyy. (I'm terribly sorry.)
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Catchy
It’s Frieeeedeayyyyy, Frieeeedeayyyyy♪
♬Gotta get down on Frieeeedeayyyyy
Everybody’s lookin’ forward to the weekend, weekend♩
♪Frieeeedeayyyyy, Frieeeedeayyyyy♬
♩Gettin’ down on Frieeeedeayyyyy
Everybody’s lookin’ forward to the weekend♪
"Don't take life for granted, because tomorrow isn't promised to any one of us." -Kirby Puckett
RT @RonGarde You can Tweet that. Just Tweet it. You don't even have to write it. Just fire it through the Internet.
by less cowbell, more 'neau on Mar 18, 2011 11:10 AM EDT reply actions
And here come the trolls from South Side Sox
They will likely mention that we lost to Detroit yesterday and the fact that we have been losing to all the good teams omitting the fact that we beat Boston twice and the Yankees once with the Yankee game being Split Squad and the Loss to Philadelphia was another split squad game.
Dude...
Not even White Sox fans are crazy enough to think that Spring Training games matter.
"There are only two things that are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former." - Albert Einstein
Not too good,
But not too bad either. A lot of their losses have been to NL teams and you could make an assumption that the NL is better than the AL in interleague play including the World Series. However that record since the turn of the century: 1372-1200 in favor of the AL. Translation, that early September Series at Target Field will not matter except for pride.
Wait, YOU'RE talking about TROLLS?
by tobynotjason on Mar 20, 2011 12:20 AM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
Jessy S is not a troll!
He says some crazy things and I disagree with him most of the time, but he is a Twins fan who adds to the discussion. I find him entertaining in a Andy Kaufman/Tony Clifton “is this for real?” kind of way.
"Don't take life for granted, because tomorrow isn't promised to any one of us." -Kirby Puckett
RT @RonGarde You can Tweet that. Just Tweet it. You don't even have to write it. Just fire it through the Internet.
by less cowbell, more 'neau on Mar 20, 2011 3:35 PM EDT up reply actions
At this point
I would have to say both with Cleveland as the Wild Card. All three teams are capable of putting together a good solid season.
And the Royals!
The Royals are going to burst out. I swear. Any year now…
"It happened in the moment, and it happened." - Carlos Gomez
Burst in flames maybe
#fireball
by twinscrazy_german on Mar 18, 2011 3:06 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
LOL
"Don't take life for granted, because tomorrow isn't promised to any one of us." -Kirby Puckett
RT @RonGarde You can Tweet that. Just Tweet it. You don't even have to write it. Just fire it through the Internet.
by less cowbell, more 'neau on Mar 18, 2011 5:45 PM EDT up reply actions
BTW
I love Hawk Harrelson’s schtick. At least the kind where he loses his voice while the White Sox lose.
We have proof, yerhonor...
I’m pretty sure about AJ, and his digital decongestant / snacking habits…
I just know that I have a certified un-photoshopped pic of him “in flagrante delicto” somewhere around here…
Regards from North-Central Florida
Washington - first in war, first in peace, last in the American League.
by TwinsFanWhereEverIAm on Mar 18, 2011 11:46 AM EDT reply actions
I really just.. Harrelson.. Leaves me with no words for how awful he is.
Funny preview, though!
Root canal > IRS audit > Hawk
Usually, that is…
Washington - first in war, first in peace, last in the American League.
by TwinsFanWhereEverIAm on Mar 18, 2011 11:54 AM EDT up reply actions
I would choose to be waterboarded
Than listen to Hawk.
Is it weird that I'll kind of miss Jenks' facial hair?
And miss him coughing up leads to the Twins? Hmm.
"Huh. I thought the FAQ had you listed as "Twinkie Town Goddess" but hey, whatever you prefer." -wayback, 3/9/11
Maybe we should play the other sock color?
by twinscrazy_german on Mar 18, 2011 3:07 PM EDT up reply actions
Don't Worry
Jesse Crain will cough up plenty of leads to us.
AJ eats boogers
Little known fact. He played the Smayles kid in Caddy Shack.
"You're thinking too much. Just have fun." -- Bennie "The Jet" Rodriguez in Sandlot
by cmathewson on Mar 18, 2011 12:42 PM EDT reply actions 1 recs
I'm really curious as to when exactly you guys decided that you hated AJ.
Was it the day you drafted Mauer?
Was it the day Pierzynski was shipped off to the Giants?
Was it the day he signed with the White Sox?
Was it the drop 3rd strike play against the Angels in the ALCS?
Was it the day Michael Barrett punched him in the face?
Was it when he bleached his hair?
Or when he started moonlighting as a professional wrestler?
…
There certainly are a lot of points to chose from.
For me, it was the day he went out of his way to run over Morneau on a routine grounder
"You're thinking too much. Just have fun." -- Bennie "The Jet" Rodriguez in Sandlot
by cmathewson on Mar 20, 2011 3:38 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
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