Seeing as how Jesse has been posting predictions for the Twins team today, this, the day before the opener, it got me thinking. Who will have the Twins' most valuable facial hair (MVFH) this year?
The favorite going in has to be the Pavstache. But is it possible that we see some regression from this venerable veteran and we see his facial hair above replacement (FHAR, I made that stat up just now, so it's a real stat) return to a less gaudy level? Will this be the year we will see some new rookie take the top spot or will it be some long underrated facial hair get the attention it deserves? Can Joe's sideburns return to its old levels or will his new Head & Shoulders endorsement make them look like a pair of tiny, ear hugging, Troy Palamalu chia pets? Will Booby Jenks taking his d-bag looking, strawberry berry blonde goatee (real men don't die their facial hair) out of the division to the Red Sawx give the entire Twins team a higher FHAR? Find out by voting in this totally scientific poll (don't worry I'm an economist and we do polls all the time... I think).
Who will the Twins' most valuable facial hair be?
The Pavstache. (24 votes)
Joe Mauer's sideburns. (3 votes)
Alexi Casilla's chin pubes. (8 votes)
Denard Span's beard. (1 vote)
Joe Nathan's goatee. (3 votes)
Scott Baker's drawn on facial hair (has he even hit puberty yet?). (1 vote)
Duddley Do-Right's... I mean Justin Morneau's lumberjack scruff. (5 votes)
Nick Blackburn's beard. (8 votes)
Jason Kubel's beard. (14 votes)
Bobby Jenks's d-baggy looking thing leaving the Sux and going to the Sawx. (3 votes)
Burt Blyleven's HOF beard coming out of retirement to lead the staff in K's, innings pitched, complete games, and most times "Take Me Out to the Ball Game" farted. (3 votes)
Other (comment). (0 votes)
73 total votes