Remarkably Uninformed Preview 2011: Cleveland Indians

(Over the next four weeks, Twinkie Town's RandBall's Stu will take a look at the four teams trying to snatch the AL Central crown from your Minnesota Twins. They will be neither thorough nor terribly accurate, and probably contain at least one sentence that SB Nation's lawyers will have to defend in court on the grounds that accusations of booger-eating are protected speech. Really should have done what Dad said and gone to med school, barrister.)

Who: Cleveland Indians

Last Year's Record: terrible

Projected 2011 Record: also terrible

Key Additions: Chad Durbin, Nick Johnson, Orlando Cabrera, Adam Everett, Austin Kearns, Roger Dorn, Ricky "Wild Thing" Vaughn, Willie Mays Hayes, Pedro Cerrano

Key Departures: Aaron Laffey, Mike Redmond

Asdrubal Cabrera's Favorite Belle & Sebastian Album: Dear Catastrophe Waitress. "Piazza New York Catcher" is a great baseball song for a band from Scotland. Excellent pick, Asdrubal!

Outlook: former Vegas showgirl Rachel Phelps has inherited the franchise from her late husband and wants to move them to Miami. She has instructed the GM to acquire a bunch of no-names and loose cannons to ensure a terrible record that will grease the skids for the move. I don't know about you, but I wouldn't bet against this ragtag bunch of misfits once they come together as a team under veteran minor league manager Lou Brown!

Other Items of Interest:

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