Stuff you can read while cursing the American public's abysmal judgment:
The Detroit Tigers lost to the New York Yankees, meaning that, for a time, the Kansas City Royals were not in last place in the AL Central. This lasted about three hours. The Royals are now mathematically eliminated, probably.
- Local codger yells at kids to get off his lawn, wonders why coffee isn't a nickel anymore. (Credit where it's due: Reusse trolls better than most internet trolls, and he gets paid to do so.)
- SB Nation rolled out its snappy Baseball Nation thingamajig. More importantly: KEN F------ TREMENDOUS.
- Carlos Gomez hit a long home run in his first at-bat of the year. Twinkie Town was unable to confirm who he inadvertently pissed off afterwards, but candidates include the Cincinnati Reds, Ron Gardenhire, Tim Tschida, the Roman Catholic Church, character actor Robert Loggia, Norway, and the Kaiser Family Foundation.
- If all goes well, tonight will feature the Kubel version of the Twins' everyday lineup.
- The only national sports talking head type I saw who picked the Twins to win the World Series was professionally enraged orange person Skip Bayless. Troubling.
- If Pete Rose never gets into the Hall of Fame, it will probably be because of this ensemble. Also the gambling, I suppose.
Not necessarily baseball-related, but if you're local, and you're going to enjoy an adult beverage with your season opener, you could do worse than treat yourself to the wares of San Diego's wonderful Stone Brewing Company, now available in the Twin Cities and points northwest.
In addition to a Blue Jays primer coming later today, Jesse will be handling your game thread and recap this evening, while I sit at Target Center, watching the Timberwolves lose by 30 to the Miami Heat and missing the season opener. I'll see you tomorrow, though, so don't worry.