It's Time For Positive Support!

by Jon Marthaler on Apr 25, 2011 9:00 AM EDT in WTF

The Twins are still three games below .500. They're still four back of Cleveland even though they just beat the Indians twice in a row. They've given up 24 more runs than they've scored. They're last in the American League in hitting almost any way you slice it. And the bullpen is, at best, shaky.

But hey, they've won three in a row, and mom always said that if you can't find something nice to say, don't say it at all. So for once, let's be positive, and find something good to say about this year's Twins.

Let's see here...

Luke Hughes: Cool accent.

Joe Nathan: Beard really makes him look distinguished.

Joe Mauer: Hasn't grounded out to second in like two weeks.

Matt Capps: An inspiration to all the kiddos in the "husky" jeans.

Steve Holm: Fun to say his name. STEVE HOLM!

Jim Thome: Looks great in plaid. Awesome actor.

Michael Cuddyer: So far as we can prove, has not stabbed anyone that we know about.

Tsuyoshi Nishioka: Hasn't made an error since the first week of the season. Really studying the game.

Alexi Casilla: Really made us all feel a lot more positive towards Nick Punto.

Matt Tolbert: Double-earflap look reminds us of young Chuck Knoblauch, back before we threw hot dogs at him.

Glen Perkins: He can throw left-handed! Not everyone can do that, you know.

Eric Hacker: Can go to the concessions stand during the game in full uniform without being recognized, which takes some doing.

Drew Butera: Gives hope to every player at every level that can't hit.

Jason Repko: Considerate enough to not slap any of those pesky extra-base hits, which result in extra running for both opponents and teammates.

Justin Morneau: Very tall, so he can reach things on high shelves.

Jason Kubel: Has reclaimed the "scraggly beard" from the hobos and drifters of America.

Denard Span: Polite enough to refuse to call out his teammates for failing.

Nick Blackburn: Sinker that doesn't sink makes opposing hitters feel better about themselves.

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Comments

Funny!!!!!

by LittleLad on Apr 25, 2011 9:20 AM EDT via mobile reply actions

Booom! Roasted.

No Delmon Young? Too easy?

by Justin Van Reese on Apr 25, 2011 9:25 AM EDT reply actions

How many great plays in left field?

Delmon has been one of the team’s best RBI guys the past couple years, but his LF play was lousy. However, this year he got off to a very good start in left, catching balls at the wall and even (gasp!) in front of him. I was about ready to give up on Delmon as an outfielder until I saw that. Also, it looks like he may have lost another few pounds off his gut, which is always a good sign.

Delmon may be having a slow start at the plate, but his history reflects just that, and his defense has improved. I don’t think Repko’s solid play in left has made that much difference.

Man, if Repko could only bat his weight…

by jimbo55403 on Apr 26, 2011 4:36 PM EDT up reply actions

Delmon Young

Now teaching The Great Gatsby to underprivileged kids

by twinscrazy_german on Apr 25, 2011 9:28 AM EDT reply actions

Francisco Liriano

Polite enough to give the other starters a head start on conditioning, so “everyone has a chance to be the ace”

by twinscrazy_german on Apr 25, 2011 9:29 AM EDT reply actions 1 recs

The Casilla and Tolbert lines killed me

"It happened in the moment, and it happened." - Carlos Gomez

by myjah on Apr 25, 2011 10:21 AM EDT reply actions

The Minnesota Twins

starting to play like the Cleveland Indians and the Kansas City Royals…

by caluofmn on Apr 25, 2011 10:40 AM EDT reply actions 1 recs

Haha!

"Don't take life for granted, because tomorrow isn't promised to any one of us." -Kirby Puckett
RT @RonGarde You can Tweet that. Just Tweet it. You don't even have to write it. Just fire it through the Internet.

by less cowbell, more 'neau on Apr 25, 2011 2:12 PM EDT up reply actions

Danny Valencia

Has actually found snipe at Target Field.

ZackAndMiriMakeAMorneau: "You’d come back in a week and see that they seriously just knit a pair of wings out of yarn and tied them to a 1987 chevrolet celebrity, they’re just standing in front of it and smiling at you like they’re real f***ing proud of it - miracle whip just smeared all over the windshield for no reason"

by Go Twins! on Apr 25, 2011 10:52 AM EDT reply actions

Look at the photo! Its Jim Thome and his blue ox!

……oh wait thats Gardy.

by Go Twins! on Apr 25, 2011 11:37 AM EDT reply actions

Tampa Bay comes to town tomorrow

We may get our first real chance to double dare someone to lick the flagpole.

That's absurd!

by Devereaux on Apr 25, 2011 3:36 PM EDT reply actions

steve liddle

Thank you for not letting us forgot scotty ULCER!

by mr mpls on Apr 25, 2011 4:46 PM EDT reply actions

James Hoey is awesome

He’s so good when he fires that mid 90’s heater up in the zone alomst always up and in on a Right or up and away on a lefty.

God I love James Hoey

"Well Played Mauer"

Big fan of Juerys Familia and his repitoire

by SteveHoffmanSlowey on Apr 25, 2011 6:37 PM EDT reply actions

Eric Hacker is spot on

I saw him practicing on the field with the rest of the pitchers on Saturday and my first reaction was, “Hey, how’d that dude with the mullet get on the field?”

by 20DingerDogs on Apr 26, 2011 5:13 AM EDT via mobile reply actions

Call up Plouffe already!

If Gardenhire is willing to play Cuddyer at second for his bat, then why not call up Trevor Plouffe for the same reason? Send down Luke Hughes if you’re not going to use him! Let Casilla and Tolbert take turns filling in the middle infield, while Plouffe and Cuddyer blast away at the plate. Plouffe is at least an average shortstop, and he’s a much better hitter than Casilla.

by jimbo55403 on Apr 26, 2011 4:41 PM EDT reply actions