FanPost

Pavsmash Reaction to 5/1 Game Vs Royals



Alrighty then... It's gotten rather tense over here lately, so i thought I'd (try to) lighten things up with a (intended to be) humorous post. (I apologize in advance, it's pretty terible. Don't say I didn't warn you)

 Incase anyone missed it, Pavano (AKA Pavsmash) went crazy on the garbage can/dugout, you can watch it here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oh0tPmYM1C0&feature=share . It's pretty hilarious. So I asked myself... "What was Pavano thinking as he beat the crap out of that poor defenseless garbage can? How would he yell at his team mates once they were back in the club house?"

Well... This is what I came up with.

 

PAVSMASH: (Picking up bat) Good, this is one of that little f***ing ba***** Casilla's bat. (Begins hitting garbage can) WHAT NOW CASILLA?! HOW DO YOU LIKE ME HITTING WHERE YOU BELONG WITH YOUR OWN BAT?HOW YOU LIKE THEM APPLES?!

LIL TIMMY BAKER: (Trying to avoid flailing bat) O golly gee (said in the voice of a pre-pubescent boy) I have to get out of here! Mean old man Pavano is going to kill me!

PAVSMASH: (Still hitting the garbage can) Damnit why won't this f***ing bat break?! They swing  like f***ing little girls and they break these pieces of sh*t like nobody's business but when a real man swings one AT A METAL GARBAGE CAN they don't break! What is Sweet Drew supposed to use for timber tonight if I don't break this f***ing bat?! (storms away to avoid the rest of the game)

***AFTER GAME IN THE CLUBHOUSE***

PAVSMASH: (To Sweet Drew) What the f*** happened today?

SWEET DREW: It was that dipsh*t Lexi who screwed us over AGAIN! (PAVSMASH chucks the baseball he was holding to the other side of the clubhouse)

LEXI: (tries to pick up baseball and throw it to Morneau at the same time, it instead hits Pavano) O shoot. That was one tough ball to field, even the best players would never have gotten that one.

GARDY: Don't worry, Lexi. (pats Lexi on the back) No matter what anyone says, you're good enough for me.

PAVSMASH: (looks ready to explode) YOU KNOW WHAT?!

EVERYONE ELSE: (looks up) What, Pav?

PAVSMASH: WHEN I WAS SMASHING THAT GARBAGE CAN, I WAS PRETENDING IT WAS YOU'RE FACE, CASILLA!

LEXI: (looks shocked) Me? What'd I do?

PAVSMASH: YOU WERE BORN!!! WHY THE HELL CAN'T YOU PLAY YOUR POSITION LIKE EVERYONE ELSE OR EVEN LIKE A GUY IN ROOKIE BALL?

MORNEAU: (snickers) Le-

PAVSMASH: Shut up, Canadian. No one gives a sh*t.

GARDY: Come on, Pav. No need to blame it all on Lexi. We obviously all suck together.

EVERYONE: Hey....

PAVSMASH: THIS IS BS! (grabs bat and walks towards Lexi)

***A FEW HOURS LATER ON FLIGHT TO CHICAGO***

LEXI: (groans in pain)

TEAM: (chanting) SILVER SLUGGER! SILVER SLUGGER!

PAVANO: (smiles as he plays with the bat in his hands, casually whistling)

*******THE END********

In all seriousness though, I don't want anything bad to actually happen to Lexi, I just know everyone is epecially frustrated with him. I do apologize in advance for poor writing and unrealisticness (Thats a word now...) of the story line. Just trying to get everyone to smile a little bit. I wrote this out of boredom more than anything else. And yes, I know I'm terrible... :)

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