Sources: Time-Traveling Slowey "Person of Interest" in Kidnapping of Lindbergh Baby

Authorities in New Jersey have confirmed that Minnesota Twins starting pitcher Kevin Slowey is "a person of interest" in the kidnapping of Charles Lindbergh's son, and they've taken the extraordinary step of re-opening the closed case file of one of the most celebrated crimes in American history.

Although no official with the Federal Bureau of Investigation could confirm the reasons for this, one person with knowledge of the situation said that the impetus comes entirely from information provided by the Minnesota Twins organization and reporters covering the franchise. "They're convinced he did it," said the source. "And the evidence they've provided deserves a fair hearing."

Charles Lindbergh, Jr., was 20 months old when he was kidnapped from the Lindbergh family home in Hopewell, New Jersey in 1932. He was found dead two months later, and Bruno Hauptmann, a local carpenter and ex-convict, was convicted of the crime and executed in 1936.

No Twins officials would comment publicly due to the ongoing nature of the investigation, but two team employees said that they had been in touch with the FBI. "We saw him reading Wired Magazine in the cold tub," said a front office employee. "You know what they had on the cover of that thing? Time travel. Had one of the clubhouse attendants pick it up later, and there's a whole article in there about it."

A senior member of the field staff went further. "I mean, I've got guys going out there and competing, and there's Slowey over there with his nose buried in some science rag," said the second staffer. "Figured there had to be a good reason, and sure enough, he's reading about wormholes and (stuff). Chrysler, you don't need to be a rocket scientist to put 2 and 2 together. He was gonna go on the DL again, use the days off to build a time machine, then go back in time and steal the Lindbergh baby. What else would you need it for?"

Local media members, while also reluctant to give their identity, have confirmed that they've also spoken with federal authorities. "Yeah, I talked to ‘em," said one writer. "I'm pretty sure he didn't build a time machine, but he's a total dick, so I figure let him dangle."

Slowey, who is on the disabled list with an abdominal strain, wasn't saying much when asked to comment. "I'm just going to let the legal system run its course, and that's all I'll say about it," said the pitcher. "You'll have to excuse me, I just downloaded the tuNe-YarDs album and want to make up my own mind. They're pretty obscure, you wouldn't know about them." Slowey then put his headphones on and started reading Robert Caro's Master of the Senate.

The Twins, a major league worst 16-32, open a weekend series with the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim tonight at 7:10, and the Slowey incident is the latest in a series of distractions. But the senior management source was adamant that this wouldn't affect the team.

"Kidnapping and time travel are not what we're about here, and it won't be for as long as I'm here," said the source. "Solid fundamentals, playing the game the right way, stepping up, that's Twins baseball. (Darn) wormholes."

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