FanPost

LOTR Part II: The Two Mauers

Things seem to be going almost exactly as J.R.R. Tolkien predicted. Our little band of heroes was severely beaten down in Moria and almost succumbed at Helm's Deep, but Gandalf's epic return has brought new hope, and although Frodo is still far from destroying the Ring, he did make the All-Star game, so hope remains.

Details after the jump.

As predicted, Gandalf/Joe Mauer has returned from battling the Balrog/Bilater Leg Weakness, just in time to help defeat SaruGuillen the White (Sock). Though not fully vanquished, I think it is safe to say the White Sox no longer pose a threat.

Aragorneau, Gimli/Kubel, and Legolas/Span are all missing in action, as they are currently in the Halls of the Dead/DL. They should all reemerge at some point, with Aragorneau accompanied by an army of Ghost Warriors/Pucket and Killer, who will help turn the tide in the second-to-last battle/divisional race.

Due to vagaries in the time-space continuum, Boromir/Delmon is still with the team. I expect him to come out swinging and the get traded/shot by 18 arrows. He will be replaced by Faramir/Plouffe, who was previously deemed to be not of "high enough quality" by the Steward of Rondor.

The middle infield of Pippin and Merry continues to prove pesky, and Dannywise Gamgee is proving stout-hearted at the hot-corner.

Frodo/Cuddyer, as mentioned, made the All-Star team and continues to surprise everyone with his leadership and magic tricks/ability to turn himself invisible.

Other notes: King Theoden/Thome continues his long reign of glory, but if the analogy holds, will eventually be slain by the Wraith-King/Verlander at a critical moment in the second-to-last battle/divisional race. On the bright side, a new character has emerged who will play a critical role: Eowyn/Revere, who swings a pretty small sword, but due to his/her lightness, can really ride a horse fast. I predict in game 163 Nishioka/Meriadoc beats out an infield single/stabs the Wraith King/Verlander in the ankle, and then Eowyn/Revere sends a laser up the middle/stabs the King in the eye socket to win the game. Other than that, I can't seem to figure out who equates to Eomer. But he doesn't come into the story until a little later, just before the trading deadline. A long haired blond guy. Hmmm, Jered Weaver, anybody?

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