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Joey Mauter and the Order of the Sardines

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Today's the day, Mauter fans (well, okay, last night)... the premiere of the second half of the 7th installment in the Joey Mauter series -- Joey Mauter and Order of the Sardines. Spoiler alert: Professor Killedore died in the last book, so he's only around in painting form.

When we left off, Mauter and his pals Ron Weaslenhire and Hermichael Cuddger were wandering aimlessly around in the woods, and just missed their chance at destroying the next division horcrux. Oh, and Weaslenhire threw a temper tantrum and got ejected from the story for awhile -- it happens, but he came back eventually and led them to the Sword of Gryffindome, which is probably going to be important later.

So far, they've only managed to overcome one division horcrux -- Killedore left clues from his days in Kansas City. To defeat that horcrux, all they had to do was destroy the Royals scorebook. This was actually done in an earlier installment when Justinny Weaslneau was possessed by the scorebook and not quite himself. But he snapped out of it, stabbed the book with his bat, and just like that the Royals were vanquished. (Unfortunately, it turns out Justinny has zero on-screen chemistry with Joey, so he's not mentioned much in the current installment.)

In order to defeat the next division horcrux, Mauter and pals teamed up with the Order of the Sardines. Professor Ozzerus Guisnape is not a fan. Plus, he secretly covets Mauter's mom... it's awkward. However, his boys from the Slytherago White Death Eaters are still hoarding their horcrux -- which is in a locket. Regulus A.J. Blackynski is hiding it. It shouldn't be hard for the Order to find it and destroy it.

Oh yeah... the Order of the Sardines. After the whole wandering around in the Ft. Myers woods/trying to go it alone thing, Mauter was reunited with his pals. In addition to Weaslenhire and Cuddger, there are Order of the Sardines members Rujimeus Thomrid, a big guy with a kind heart who's always looking out for young wizards and has a knack for dealing with magical creatures like the Puntoback Dragon, and Carl "Mad-mustache" Moodvano, who's crazy mustache is always looking at you funny. (Kirbius Puck, Mauter's godfather, was also in the Order prior to his death a few books back.)

But Mauter and pals were considered too young to be in the Order, so they formed Killedore's Army to fight for the cause. Members of the army include Luka Lovehughes, who talks a little funny, Treville Plouffebottom, who's often underestimated but is primed to play a key role, and the Weaslenciaker twins, Danny and Scott. (Seriously, they have the same birthday -- who knew?) Plus, there's a little extra help in the form of Dobby Revere the house elf (who doesn't die in this edition, 'cause that's just mean).

Will Mauter and pals be able to overcome the remaining division horcruxes -- the one in Slytherago's locket, the one in Clevelpuff's cup, and the one in Raventroit's diadem? You'll have to stay tuned... because I haven't even begun to cover The Yankee That Must Not Be Named who is causing all the trouble in the first place.

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