Thome at the Bat
A recap of the 7th inning of today's 7-3 loss to Oakland, accurate to the pitch, with apologies to Ernest Thayer
The outlook wasn't brilliant for the 'Sota nine that day:
The score stood seven-three, with but three innings more to play.
And then when Sweet Drew grounded left, and Sizemore threw to first,
A sickly feeling grew inside as Twins fans feared the worst.
A straggling few got up to go and catch the BART. The rest
Clung to that hope which springs eternal in the human breast;
They thought, if only Thome could get but a whack at that -
We'd put up even money, now, with Thome at the bat.
But Joe preceded Thome, as did also Ben Revere,
Cuddyer's bat came third and Kubel's batting clean-up here ;
So upon that stricken multitude grim melancholy sat,
For there seemed but little chance of Thome's getting to the bat.
But Benny drew a four pitch walk, to the wonderment of all,
And Joe, the much belov-ed, tore the cover off the ball;
Cuddy took a strike, a ball, a strike, and fouled one off,
But then he watched strike three go by and sat down with a scoff.
With two outs now, Kubel rose and stepped into the box,
But Breslow's pitch was low and wild and bounced near Jason's socks;
And when the ball passed Kurt, and the men saw what had occurred,
There was Mauer safe at second and Ben a-hugging third.
When Kubel walked to load 'em up, there rose a lusty yell;
It rumbled through the valley, it rattled in the dell;
It knocked upon the mountain and recoiled upon the flat,
For Thome, mighty Thome, was advancing to the bat.
There was ease in Jimmer's manner as he stepped into his place;
There was pride in Jimmer's bearing and a smile on Jimmer's face.
And when, responding to the cheers, he lightly doffed his hat,
No stranger in the crowd could doubt 'twas Thome at the bat.
Ten thousand eyes were on him as he rubbed his hands with dirt;
Five thousand tongues applauded when he wiped them on his shirt.
Then while the writhing pitcher ground the ball into his hip,
Defiance gleamed in Thome's eye, a sneer curled Thome's lip.
And now the leather-covered sphere came hurtling through the air,
And Thome gave a mighty swing, but couldn't catch his share.
The second pitch was just as fast and Thome's swing as slow -
"Well, now," Jimmers mumbled. "Two quick strikes, dontcha know."
From the benches, gold with jerseys, there went up a muffled roar,
Like the beating of the storm-waves on a stern and distant shore.
"He's old so strike the bum out!" shouted one drunk Oakland fan;
But Twins fans wouldn't listen, they had faith in their man.
With a smile of Christian charity great Thome's visage shone;
He stilled the rising tumult; he bade the game go on;
He signaled to the pitcher, and once more the spheroid flew;
But Jim held his bat back for first ball one and then ball two.
The Twins fans did remember how Jim hit five-ninety-seven;
That homerun in the third to put them up, well it was heaven.
And now they saw his face grow cold, they saw his muscles strain,
And they knew that Thome wouldn't let that ball go by again.
The sneer is gone from Thome's lip, his teeth are clenched in grit;
He settles back into the box, quite sure he'll get a hit.
And now the pitcher holds the ball, and now he lets it go,
And now the air is shattered by the force of Thome's blow.
Oh, somewhere in this favored land the sun is shining bright;
The band is playing somewhere, and somewhere hearts are light,
And somewhere men are laughing, and somewhere children shout;
But there is no joy in Twinsville - mighty Thome has struck out.
****
There was an inning eight and there was an inning nine;
But nowhere in those innings did they show a winning sign,
Oh, they had the lead but lost it when the A's scored in the third;
And in the fourth Oak scored again and 'twas the final word.
Pitch by pitch retelling based on what I've got in my scorebook. The photo is the one I took as he struck out.
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Awesome. If I knew how to rec, I would have.
Well done. Jim Thome is definitely Casey.
Someone gave my son a new version of the book that is cute, Casey Back at the Bat. In this one, he hits it, and it travels so far that goes over the ocean, knocks the tower of Pisa off kilter, bounces off the Sphynx, past the Taj Mahal, through time, into outer space, and back to Mudville, where it is caught for the third out.
by AM. on Aug 1, 2011 6:22 AM EDT via mobile reply actions
Thanks...
It just seemed to fit the original poem so well.
by ColossusOfRhode on Aug 1, 2011 6:26 PM EDT up reply actions
This is the best thing ever on this site
And that’s saying a lot, with RandballStu, Jon, Adam, Jesse and the rest.
"You're thinking too much. Just have fun." -- Bennie "The Jet" Rodriguez in Sandlot
Having just spent three games in Oakland...
… I’m not sure green is the color I want anything turning. :-p
by ColossusOfRhode on Aug 1, 2011 6:30 PM EDT up reply actions
Yeah, and we got free A's jerseys!
Wait, I don’t know if that’s a plus.
by ColossusOfRhode on Aug 3, 2011 3:52 PM EDT up reply actions
My son took one look at it and told the person at the gate
no thank you…
I had to chuckle just a little…
He was raised well
I’m thinking about going to see the Tigers when they’re in town. I might wear the A’s jersey then.
by ColossusOfRhode on Aug 3, 2011 6:29 PM EDT up reply actions
that would be a good series
to cheer for the A’s… they actually looked pretty nice for a free give away
Awesome
"Don't take life for granted, because tomorrow isn't promised to any one of us." -Kirby Puckett
"God grab your neck but never choke" -Ozzie Guillen
by less cowbell, more 'neau on Aug 1, 2011 3:38 PM EDT reply actions
I LOVE THIS!
Can you do one for #600?
"It's not what you do when you walk in the door that matters. It's what you do when you walk out. That's when you've made a lasting impression." -Jim Thome
by IloveThomeHomers on Aug 3, 2011 2:39 PM EDT reply actions
What do you mean by "do one"?
If he actually hits the homerun, it sort of misses the pathos of the original poem.
by ColossusOfRhode on Aug 3, 2011 3:49 PM EDT up reply actions
It would need a different meme
Something epic.
"You're thinking too much. Just have fun." -- Bennie "The Jet" Rodriguez in Sandlot
"Sox to the left of him, Sox to the right of him"
Into the Valley of Death flew Thome’s Six Hundred
Half a game, half a game, half a game upward!"
"Don't take life for granted, because tomorrow isn't promised to any one of us." -Kirby Puckett
"There is absolutely no connection between me, Emo Phillips, and 'emo' music." -Emo Phillips
by less cowbell, more 'neau on Aug 3, 2011 4:21 PM EDT up reply actions
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two balls were struck with a wood, and JI-
JIM THOME’s took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.
I prefer the Proclaimers to Robert Frost
“But I would smash 300 homers
And I would smash 300 more
Just to be the man who smashed 600 homers
To fall down at your door”
by ColossusOfRhode on Aug 3, 2011 6:42 PM EDT up reply actions
+ Poem, + History
Only in baseball can you reference a cheesy poem from a century ago and everybody knows what you’re talking about — while justifiably applauding the skillful parody.
Steve Goodman lives.






























