Since last night’s Twins game consisted of 1 good first inning at bat (Thank you, Trevor Plouffe), in order to give the announcers something to talk about, the FSN news team went kind of nuts with the whole Twitter thing, displaying fans’ tweets in the stadium and making much of this "new-fangled" thing. Not surprisingly, the players are fans of Twitter also. Let’s listen in…
ARod: In MN…hanging out with fellow 600 HR club member and BFF Jim Thome.
Jimmer: Alex? Where are you? I can’t see you anywhere?
ARod: Uh, when I say hanging out, I mean sort of figuratively…like in the same city…
Jimmer: Oh, I see. I guess. I’m sort of new to this whole twittering thing. Anyway, how about a big figurative man-hug?
ARod: Hey, don’t wrinkle the suit!
Jimmer: It’s after midnight and you’re wearing a suit?
ARod: What? I took off the vest.
Cuddles: Can a guy who’s only in the 100 HR club get one of those hugs?
ARod: Oh, please, Jim. That’s beneath you. I was just thinking how great you would look as a centaur. I’ve been considering having another painting done of myself.
Pavstache: If someone put your head on a horse’s body it would be hard to tell one end from the other. Ha!
Jimmer: Carl, I’m surprised at you. That was unkind.
ARod: Mr.Pavano, it’s not like I hold you personally responsible for taking all that money and hardly pitching for the Yankees, but good riddance to bad rubbish!
Jimmer: It sure would be nice if everybody could get along.
Cuddles: Exactly. Hey, virtual high fives for everybody!
Smiley: Hope I get into the club one of these days.
Jimmer: What club is that, Ben?
Smiley: The 1 HR Club.
Cuddles: You almost did the other night. That was some collision at Home Plate! Great hustle, man!
Jimmer: Besides, Gardy says your smile is worth a lot of HR’s.
TexMex: Aw, c’mon, CC. Go easy on the little guy. His team stinks, and now you made him frown.
Pavstache: Careful, Ben. CC has meals bigger than you.
CC: Yeah, kid, watch out! lol Hey, that reminds me…who’s got the snacks?
KSlow: I applaud you for not capitulating to the media’s tyrannical notions of what constitutes a pleasing body image.
Pavstache: Heh, heh…yes, our Kevin does need translation now and then…
KSlow: Just don’t succumb to the eating clichés of the Herd.
Jimmer: Speaking of translation, I see this "lol" word all the time…what’s with that?
CaneMan: “Laughing out loud,” man. Wit u 4ever. BFN. Go, Miami!
Jimmer: Hmmm. Laughing out loud? How do you laugh, but not out loud?
BenRev: Maybe that’s what Rick Anderson has been doing during games lately when we see him sitting quietly in the dugout with tears running down his face.
Pavstache: Um…yeah, maybe.
CC: This babble is making me even more hungry.
KSlow: Remember now, only real foods that are part of the grand pastoral narrative.
Jimmer: Ironically, now I’m hungry too.
KSlow: lol…oh, wait…that wasn’t a joke, was it?