It's painful to watch the Twins these days; they clearly would forfeit every game for the remainder of the year if only the commissioner would let them, but unfortunately their contracts say they still have to show up. And so the Twins lurch around like zombies for nine innings while an apathetic crowd looks on, all of them thinking, "Jeez, I overpaid for these tickets. I wish I would have gone to the Saints game instead."
Michael Cuddyer also left the game in the first inning after being hit in the left wrist with a pitch. Initial X-rays were negative, but he could be expected to miss some time. So let's all wave a nice temporary goodbye to really the only Twin who has in any way lived up to expectations this year.
Kevin Slowey pitched four scoreless innings, then collapsed in the fifth. Apparently too tired to lift his arm, he started tossing up some of his patented belt-high meatballs, which the Orioles happily crushed to various parts of the ballpark. Mark Reynolds hit one out, Baltimore hit a couple of doubles and a triple and two singles and suddenly at 1-0 Twins lead was a 5-1 deficit.
The Minnesota offense, meanwhile, was pathetic as usual. Trevor Plouffe tripled with one out in the first and then stood on third for the remainder of the inning. Jason Kubel and Justin Morneau hit back-to-back doubles in the third. And after that there was nothing. The Twins had two hits and one walk for the rest of the night.
Against the worst pitching staff in the American League, the Twins have scored three runs in three games.
I'm not doing the usual three stars, three anti-stars thing. First of all, there are no stars; everyone was terrible. Second of all, if the Twins can mail it in, so can I.