Offseason rosterbation primer

EDIT: Thanks for the recs, folks. For the eleven of you who want some sort of contest, I will draft up a mock of the contest (and maybe have an admin look it over), then we can have at it until sometime around the arbitration/free agent deadline.

With the latest on next year's payroll confirming our hopes for a decent team next year, I know the absolute first thing to come to mind is: great! Now to scour MLBTR and fine tune my 25-man (or 40-man, if you're thorough like that) roster for next year...begin the rosterbation!!!

NOT SO FAST!

I've quietly mentioned this in threads, but I must insist that while fantasizing about next year's roster is really the only thing we've had to look forward to for the last couple months, it's just too depressing to start doing it while our Rochester man-boys are still (allegedly) trying to win games.

Ground rules after the jump.

First things first: no, you can't trade Mauer. Feel free to slot him into any position other than backup catcher, but you're stuck with the lazy fatcat superstar, so just deal with it.

1A) Nobody is going to take you seriously unless you package some combination of Blackburn, Slowey, Mijares, Repko, Butera, Tolbert, Plouffe and Gardenhire (either) for another team's reasonably-priced superstar. After all, I heard Josh Johnson grew up in Minnesota...

1B) Mention the Santana or Hardy trade with as much vitriol as possible. Just think how good our team would be if we had JJ, Ellbury, Lester, Chamberlain and Gomez on the same roster!

1C) Nick Punto will not come cheaply. Any offers under $4MM will be not be considered worthy of LNP's services.

But seriously,

Article II: No submissions while the MLB season is still being played. This includes the postseason! The offseason is long enough without you people rushing to get this season, however disappointing, over with.

Article III: Thou shalt not be unorganized! Don't get me wrong, I love math, but I am not about to sift through your incomplete thoughts and poor calculations in order to decipher why Jessy S thinks that a Manny-Ramirez-at-SS-laden roster (he's making a comeback!) can still be made for under 100 million. May I suggest pasting in a table from word?

*Acquired via free agency after Phillies decline option

**Claimed after the Royals DFAd this tasty prospect

Rule the fourth: Find a way to make trades and other transactions lucid -- see asterisks above. I won't pretend to suggest regulating your harebrained schemes themselves.

Tenth Amendment: I cede all editorial and amendment powers to Adam Petersen or any of the admins because, well, it's nice to offer before they do so anyway and do a better job of it. Any chance SBNation supports wikis? I would love to see some universal format that Jesse approves and make some sort of contest out of it. Maybe play some WAR games and see who, by the end of next year, crafts the best team? Closest to reality? Just offering some pre-masturbatory thoughts.

Good luck and be safe! Wins can wait, rosterbate!