Twins 1, Royals 0: CRISIS AVERTED

Well.  What a crazy night for baseball tonight.  The Twins avoided their 100th loss of the season, Carl Pavano and his glorious mustache made an appearance for one night, and John Gordon was able to make his final Twins call in a walk-off victory.  Sure, we could dwell on the fact that 99 losses is still pretty terrible, but the season's over, so let's be happy about the quality pitching and fun ending tonight, okay?

Carl Pavano pitched a complete game shutout tonight, proving once and for all that just the 'stache must stay.  I mean...come on.  He was awesome tonight, in a spot where the Twins really needed him to step up to uh...not lose 100 games.  The Great Mustachioed One went all 9 innings, giving up only 5 hits, walking none, and striking out 3.  The K numbers aren't pretty, but the rest of that is pretty awesome.  

After the jump, my friends.

Cy Bruce Chen kept the Twins off the board for most of the night, despite running into a few jams during the game.  Chen gave up 8 hits, walked 2 batters, struck out 4, and lasted 8 innings.  For some reason, the Royals seemed to be saving their bullpen even when Chen was running into some problems in the 7th.  I guess they were saving them for tomorrow?  Anyway, Chen was pulled for Blake Wood, who went 2/3 of an inning, giving up a pinch hit double to Denard Span and then the game winning RBI single to Trevor Plouffe.  

Fun Things to Take From Tonight
-Carl Pavano was interviewed after the game.  He said this: "I can't tell you how badly we didn't want to lose 100 games...99 is bad, but it's not f----ing 100."  In somewhat related news, Carl Pavano is kind of awesome.
-Denard Span's pinch-hit appearance.  Took one pitch, then hit the next into the deep right corner for a double.  Span has some healing to do, but his last few games have to be a good feeling for him.
-Drew Butera threw out-convincingly, I might add-two runners trying to steal second base.  It was impressive.
-John Gordon's call in the 9th inning was his last as the Twins broadcaster.  The Twins thankfully gave him something good to report instead of "and your Minnesota Twins have ended their season with 100 losses" or something.  So...good for you.  And thanks for all the memories, Gordo.
-Thanks to @missles9 on Twitter for pointing this out from the radio broadcast, you will now know this fun fact: apparently the Twins only had a winning record on Wednesdays this season.  You are all welcome, my friends.  Please feel free to send gratitude in the form of cash money.  Email me for my address. 
-BASEBALL IS AWESOME.  There were a lot of really important games being played tonight, and oh my, how they were played out...you couldn't even write better stories.  The Rays are your AL Wild Card winner, after Boston pretty much pooped the bed (see how I censor myself?) in September.  The Orioles beat Boston and Tampa beat the Yankees to take the Wild Card from the Red Sox.  It was amazing.  Equally good games in the NL, with the Cardinals winning and Braves losing to the Phillies.  

Studs
Everyone

Duds
The BoSox. Epic fail, guys.

While the season is thankfully over, with all its injuries, misplays, and poor performances, I would like to take the time to thank Jesse for giving me the opportunity to do this every week and to all of you for your kind words and constructive criticism.  It's been so much fun, and I hope to see you all next season. Same bat time, same bat channel.  Enjoy the offseason and your rosterbating, pervs.  Twins baseball, I can't wait until you're back.