Unlike the last few weeks, there's actual BASEBALL NEWS ALL CAPS to discuss. Most of it is happening with the Twins' AL Central rivals, but that's good enough for us.
- The big news is Cleveland ace Fausto Carmona getting arrested in the Dominican Republic for using a false identity. He's actually 31-year-old Roberto Hernandez Heredia, which is three years older than "Carmona"'s stated age of 28. This is not the first time this has happened in the Dominican, and as Jeff Sullivan notes, if you want to speculate about who else might be doing this, you are going down a major rabbit hole.
- The not-as-big-but-still-big news is Detroit catcher Victor Martinez potentially being done for 2012 already with a torn ACL. He was as vital as anyone not named Justin Verlander to the defending AL Central champs last year, and his absence will be significant. SB Nation's Grant Brisbee has a nice analysis of what this means for the rest of the teams in the division, including the Minnesota Twins, the team that we write about the most here at Twinkie Town.
- Speaking of, the Twins officially announced the signing of Guitar Hero Expert Level Practitioner/relief pitcher Joel Zumaya on Thursday. The details, per LEN3: $850,000 base salary, up to $900,000 extra in incentives. And suddenly, the bullpen is taking shape. LaVelle:
If Zumaya stays healthy, the bullpen might not have many spots available. Zumaya and Glen Perkins would be main setup men for closer Matt Capps. Brian Duensing is headed back to the bullpen after starting last season. Anthony Swarzak should have a leg up in the battle for a long relief role. Rule 5 draftee Terry Doyle must stay on the major league roster all season or offer him back to the White Sox for $25,000. That leaves one spot. There are 33 pitchers coming to camp.
- In sad news, MLB, along with the rest of the major sports, is experiencing a stunning absence of Bobs. SB Nation's Jon Bois has the brutal details.
If anything happens this afternoon, rest assured we will check in. Tear each other to shreds in the comments in the meantime. Maybe figure out if Roy Oswalt will pitch for the $27 the Twins have left under their self-imposed $100 million salary cap.