State of Play: Pizza Ranches, Millions of Tiny Kangaroos, and Aaron Gleeman Is Nonplussed

This is what happened in Twins Territory this week:

  • The Twins Caravan stopped at the Upper Midwest's finest Pizza Ranches, from Wahpeton to Glencoe. Thankfully, there were no reported casualties from the bus trip through the mysterious Biscay Triangle; nobody wants a repeat of the tragic 1979 Caravan, when Willie Norwood commandeered the bus, said he was, "Goin' south," and disappeared down US-15. He and Dave Goltz have not been seen since.
  • Per Twitter, Perth native Liam Hendriks threw his first snowball. It was up in the zone and belted into the Fergus Falls night by Edwin Encarnacion. (DID YOU KNOW: although Australia does have winter, winter storm precipitation comes in the form of millions of tiny kangaroos and Men at Work cassingles, rather than snow. And that's...One to Grow On.)
  • The next number the Twins will retire is Tom Kelly's #10. The announcement was made at Thursday evening's Diamond Awards. Hard to argue.
  • The most important thing taking place during Twins Fest this weekend, besides waiting in line for Sweet Drew's autograph? Justin Morneau potentially getting the green light to start taking batting practice after wrist surgery. As Joe C. notes, Morneau also disputed an "Internet rumor" that he banged up his wrist in a locker room tirade, and said it was done through swinging.
  • Joe C. also caught up with that one catcher guy, and says that, while he may not have gained 30 pounds as some have said, his face looks fuller and THERE ARE GRAY HAIRS BY HIS SIDEBURNS NOW. You're all one day closer to the grave, everybody!
  • Speaking of whom, Danny Valencia tweeted that he's leaning on that one catcher guy to get on Twitter. In an entirely predictable occurrence, this caused internet wiseacres to kill the rest of their afternoon making #JoeMauerTweets jokes.
  • In ACTUAL baseball news, Dan Wheeler, a relief pitcher who had expressed interest in signing with the Twins but the office phone kept going to voice mail, signed a minor-league deal with the Indians. Aaron Gleeman is nonplussed.
  • If the Twins Geek gets too big for his britches and Aaron has to do the Gleeman and the Geek podcast by himself, Aaron Gleeman Is Nonplussed would be a good name for it.
  • In other ACTUAL baseball news, the Tigers appear to be dead set on playing Miggy Cabrera at third base. As devastating as that lineup looks on paper, the thought of Cabrera and Delmon Young guarding the left field line with their combined UZR of "the car chase scene in Raising Arizona," should give Twins fans some measure of optimism.

Thoughts on these or any other things may be placed in the helpful comments section below.


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