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Just in from Craig Olson's Sports Show in Fergus Falls, Mn. Terry Ryan announced today the Twins will not sign an ace to the pitching staff for the 2013 baseball season. It has been reported by an authority that has not been given the authority to report that Terry Ryan has met with the Israel military and has exclusivley obtained sole rights to Israel's Missile Defense System. Mr. Ryan is seeking to rename the Target Field the "Iron Dome." Mr. Ryan stated with confidence that there will be no need to upgrade the pitching staff as there will be no missiles (baseballs) leaving the ball park. Mr. Ryan is quoted as saying, "All the baseballs headed for the outfield fences will be destroyed in flight. This is a 'game changer!'"
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