Big Big Story Contest: The Finalists

Hannah Foslien

After a week of entries in our contest, we've narrowed it down to the three finalists for our wonderful - well, available - prizes.

Well, you've had your week to submit your entries in the Twinkie Town Big Big Story contest - and we've narrowed it down to three finalists, plus an honorable mention winner that won't be part of the final voting, but will win something.

We had some good ones, including A.J. Barker jokes, at least one reference to an Israeli missile shield - our readers are quite well-informed - and one that made fun of Matthew LeCroy for being slow, a reference that, like Mike Redmond's pantslessness, never ages. I like to think we've all learned something about ourselves as part of this contest - possibly, that some of you don't know what "250 characters or fewer" means.

Here are the winners, in no particular order, as chosen by our illustrious panel of judges Stu, Jesse, and me:

Honorable Mention

Winning a prize, but not part of the finalists, is Devereaux, whose joke made me giggle, without being grammatically correct:

Commissioner Bans 4-Letter Nicknames
After hard lobbying by A-Rod’s agent, Scott Boras. Pedro Florimon comments.

In a related story, we'll be referring to Florimon as "P-Flo" from now on, as far as I'm concerned.

Finalist #1

Our first finalist is ColossusOfRhode, who believes that Joe Mauer's burgeoning rap career has the potential to be the biggest Twins news ever:

Straight Outta Cretin: Mauer Releases Rap Album
Featuring original tracks "Baby Got Backstop," "Gin Milk and Juice," and "Parents Definitely Understand", Joe Mauer’s debut album proves that his flow is as smooth as his swing. Also features Joe’s ode to ground balls, "Fight the Power."

Finalist #2

Second in our finals trio is Neil34, who invented a new reality show for the MLB Network.

Twins, Nats Star in MLB Network's Rotation Swap
In light of other sports joining the reality TV craze, the Twins and Nationals will star in the premier of the new show Rotation Swap. Have the Twins’ struggles been all on the rotation? Just how good is the young Nats offense? Tune in and find out!

Finalist #3

Last, but not least, unless that's the way the voting shakes out I guess, is The Ham Sandwich, who thinks the biggest possible Twins story is Joe Mauer being a robot from the future:

Joe Mauer is A Sophisticated Robot from the Future
MantiCorp, the same advanced bionics and cybernetics lab that created Mitt Romney, has announced, via backward time-travel press conference, that Joe Mauer is, in fact, a singles hitting machine from the year 2525.

Get out and vote - and claim your prizes

Please, please vote in the poll that appears below. Voting goes through midnight on Friday. Contest winners, please contact me via email at jmarthaler AT gmail.com so that I may send you your glorious, glorious prizes.

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