Good morning and happy St. Patrick's Day, everyone. Let's do some free association to kick off the post. St. Patrick's Day ---> Green beer ---> Green eggs and ham ---> Dr. Seuss ---> The Lorax. Your conscience is telling you to go to The Lorax today, even if the only reason is so you can compare his mustache to Jamie Hyneman's.

News, please!

• It sounds like Scott Baker could start the 2012 season on the disabled list due to his balky elbow. With this issue, Baker may not be fully stretched out in time for his first regular season start, which is the home opener on April 9th. The Twins don't need a fifth starter until April 15th, so while the article I've linked suggests Baker may start the season on the DL, that's not necessarily the course of action the Twins will take. With him being a starting pitcher, they could just skip him until that April 15th start comes around, or they can DL him and call up an extra relief pitcher until the 15th. Because, what's the point of bringing up Scott Diamond or Liam Hendriks if you don't even need them that early in the season?
• Stars just cannot quit their respective games, it appears. The latest to continue this trend is Andy Pettitte, who signed a minor league contract with the New York Yankees. It will be interesting to see how he fits in, as the Yanks already have C.C. Sabathia, Hiroki Kuroda, Michael Pineda, Ivan Nova, and Freddy Garcia in their rotation. Pettitte won't be ready until May perhaps, so an injury may come up, or they'll just choose that Pettitte will be able to contribute more than Garcia. Oh, and don't forget about Phil Hughes jumping up and down repeatedly in the back of this group photo because no one can see him in the back.
• New Kansas City Royals reliever Jonathan Broxton tips the scales at around 300 lbs. Fellow relievers Everett Teaford and Tim Collins have a combined weight just slightly over 300 lbs., so naturally Teaford and Collins decided to try on Broxton's pants... simultaneously. Boys, while you're in there, you might as well slather some peanut butter around the inside of the legs.
• I don't know who created this, but the Miami Marlins apparently have a theme song. It turns out it's not from the Marlins themselves, which makes me feel a little better. Still, I think it's absolutely ridiculous, and thus I'm having a tough time deciding whether the song or the YouTube comments are more hilarious. Regardless, it could be worse, I suppose.
  
• Finally, there's an article in GQ about super-prospect Bryce Harper, which you can read here. It's awfully short and doesn't really contain very much inside that's all that interesting (as in not really new from what we already know about Harper), but I've linked to it because of one thing. There's a picture of him biting a baseball. I have no idea why anyone thought that would be a good idea, or why Nick Punto has a similar picture of himself and a baseball bat from when he was with the Phillies, but apparently having a photo taken of you biting something shows aggression unrivaled by any other pose you could possibly create. Well, unless you're 7 feet tall and have a neck tattoo.
• Eh, one more thing. This is what Jon Rauch used to look like. It's like Coach Klein conquering his fear of Coach Beaulieu.
  

Enjoy this amazing weather we've been having, and stay safe this weekend.