Saturday Morning Breakfast & Baseball: Trampolines, Soria, Dunn, Extortion, and Herp Derps

We are now less than two weeks away from our first official 2012 regular season Twins game and there are still places on the roster to be won. There are three bullpen spots, a bench spot or two, and even possible a rotation spot up for grabs right now. Let's hope Sean Burroughs, Michael Hollimon, Jared Burton, Jeff Manship, etc. keep us entertained and don't go belly-up in these last days of camp.

On to more notes from the Twins and around the league.

  • Ow ow ow. Ouch. Oh God. *looks at ankle, rotates it, shudders* If you haven't figured out why I've started this bullet point like this, it's because Yankee pitcher Joba Chamberlain just suffered one of the most grisly injuries a person could ever have. He was at a trampoline park with his 5-year old son when he landed funny (I'm assuming) and suffered an open dislocation of his ankle (not funny). Translation: Bone sticking out of leg. While I did have a few "Why did he think that Joba + trampoline = no risk at all" thoughts and jokes going through my head, I've sobered up and realized how serious this could be. For one, he will miss a second consecutive season (he missed last year from Tommy John surgery) and his career is in jeopardy. Second, as already mentioned, his 5-year old son was present. This may be the most traumatic thing Karter Chamberlain will ever see in his life.
  • To lighten the mood, we herp derp with Jeff Karstens. Exhibit A and Exhibit B.
  • Some bad news in Kansas City, as closer Joakim Soria will need Tommy John surgery, just like 33% of all other pitchers in MLB. Soria came out of nowhere to become a luxury the Royals never really needed, as he was a dominant closer on a whole bunch of basement-dwelling teams. His absence means the Royals will be tasked with the ol' proven closer vs. young guy decision, as former closer Jonathan Broxton and young'un Greg Holland are the top two choices to become the new anchor in the 'pen. Additionally, Aaron Crow will no longer continue his transition from a reliever to a starting pitcher.
  • Watch out people, Adam Dunn may have just woken up from his one year slumber. It may have something to do with this.
  • Lance Berkman must of had a little Luke Scott in him* when he decided to announce that MLB commissioner Bud Selig "extorted" an agreement from new Houston Astros owner Jim Crane to move the team into the American League. This is rather interesting, as MLB offered to take off $65 million of Jim Crane's purchase payment to former Astros owner Drayton McLane ($615 million, down from the original $680 million) as a thank-you to switching to the AL, so unless that discount was a bribe, I don't see how anyone was extorted here. With Berkman having played 12 seasons for the Astros, I feel he was a little upset about his former home being moved into the other league. It certainly doesn't help either that Berkman has shown a distaste for the designated hitter rule, which probably has something to do with his unhappiness over the future move. Having fourteen teams use the DH rule is already too many, man!

* That is not an euphemism, you perverts.

In honor of Trevor Bauer throwing everything, including the kitchen sink at hitters, I'm going to try to master the stopball from Maniac Magee, a pitch that appeared to slow down and stop in midair as it came to home plate. Don't you dare crush my dreams by telling me it's just a glorified change-up.

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