If MLB Was WWE: Minnesota Twins

Drew Drew Drew? You know it! (Photo by Elsa/Getty Images)

Losing stinks, and so far the Twins have done quite a bit of it. So let's have some fun today.

Let's take a look at who the Twins would be if they were WWE superstars. Initially, my intent was to just do current Twins, but I think there are some fun historical ones too.

Current Twins:

Joe Mauer as John Cena - Nobody has a middle-of-the-road opinion of either guy; you love 'em or you hate 'em. Just like when fans come out and Mauer isn't playing, a show without Cena -- if this has even happened in recent memory -- leaves fans feeling non-plussed to say the least.

Justin Morneau as Edge - Canadian. Career *possibly* ruined by injuries. Both freaking awesome at the time of their injuries.

Carl Pavano as Shawn Michaels - Obviously a reach, but both have had very good careers. Both learned to make it work late in their careers with lesser abilities. Both had a four year vacation in the middle of their careers.

Alexi Casilla as Kofi Kingston - Very good at times, with some flashes of brilliance, but all too often his talent is marred by botches.

Scott Baker as Christian - Has had good runs as a face and as a heel without really altering his character much. Where the heck is he?

Denard Span as C.M. Punk - Span isn't outspoken like Punk, but both are really, really good at what they do and are guys who live a life close to the tracks. Span doesn't really have a good comp otherwise.

Jamey Carroll as Rey Mysterio Jr. - Small, nimble, and not as quick as he once was, but gets the job done.

Drew Butera as Zack Ryder - I can see it now, when Butera got the call that he was coming back to the bigs: "Are you serious bro?" Serious as a heart attack, Drew.

Josh Willingham as Sheamus - An absolute monster the second each stepped on the screen, both are awesome and we all know it.

Sean Burroughs at Ted Dibiase Jr. - Both living in the shadows of their much better fathers. Neither have lived up to potential.

Matt Capps as The Big Show - Both are likable enough guys, with the potential to shine in small doses, but their best days are largely behind them.

Ben Revere as Evan Bourne - Both are dynamic fan-favorites who come and go from the main scene (for different reasons, however).

Glen Perkins as Randy Orton - Each of these guys are way over with the crowd, but are very stoic and business-like in their demeanor. Both adept at kicking ass.

Jason Marquis as Goldust - Consistent. Whatever that means.

Nick Blackburn as Cody Rhodes - Goldust's slighty more talented younger brother.

Danny Valencia as Dolph Ziggler - A showoff with massive talent but thus far mixed results.

Francisco Liriano as R-Truth - Does anyone REALLY know what's going on with him?

Trevor Plouffe as Alex Riley - Has the look of a very solid performer, but so far results haven't matched.

Ryan Doumit as Lord Tensai - You can't help but look at him and think you've seen this before.

Chris Parmelee as Michael McGillicutty - Both should be really good, but it's hard to say exactly what their career path will look like.

Jared Burton as the Funkasaurus Brodus Clay - Both good in their previous lives, but are absolutely squashing people right now.

Former Players:

Kirby Puckett as Ric Flair - Universally-loved superstars with shady back stories.

Kent Hrbek as Arn Anderson - Just got it done. Career shortened by injuries.

Chuck Knoblauch as Chris Benoit - Knoblauch went to the Yankees and won gold, Benoit went to WWE and won gold. We don't think Knoblauch killed anyone, though.

Shane Mack as Dean Malenko - Criminally underrated Twin that makes up the latter 4 Horsemen (w/ Puckett-Hrbek-Knoblauch).

Gary Gaetti and Tom Brunansky as Tully Blanchard and Barry Windham - The early incarnation of the Horsemen with Puckett and Hrbek.

Torii Hunter as The Rock - Inexplicably left for a while but expects everyone to love him when he come back. Torii has hinted at a Twins return.....

Ron Coomer as Dusty Rhodes - Thought about Tim Laudner for this one. Still, sometimes baffling announcer who was pretty good in his day.

Kevin Slowey as the Miz - Just keeps saying "REALLY?"

Matt Garza as John Morrison - You're good and all, but just a little too flashy for these parts.

Bert Blyleven as Jerry Lawler - Hall of Famer performer, pretty good broadcaster. Still will step in there to show how it's done. Mostly loved by fans.

Wildcard: Dick Bremer as J.R. - Yeah, it's a reach. But both are well liked and very good at what they do. Maybe he's Michael Cole, and Tom Kelly is J.R.?

I'm sure there are plenty more. Let's hear it, TwinkieTown nation. What guys would you pair up?

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