This beard gets you. It listens to you. It will buy you flowers for no reason other than it cares about you. Can it draw you a bath? Say yes.
(Yes, I know memorial implies that Hosken Powell is deceased. He is, in fact, quite not-dead. Just roll with it, okay?)
- Most of you know that I am fascinated by Jared Burton's luxurious face-blanket. Burton has been damn near untouchable all season, and his current run of 8 strikeouts of the last nine batters he's faced is all you can ask from an off-season, minor-league signing. But the truly important thing, the thing that makes you sit up and take notice, is his good-enough-to-run-for-mayor-of-Balsam Lake-Wisconsin beard. It fills in nicely, but is unkempt enough that you know he's got a taste for flannel shirts and plaintive acoustic laments about a dead dog or something. My point here, such as it is, is that the Twins have a fine history of bearded bullpen hands, like Jeff Reardon and Rick Aguilera (I'm willing to consider Joe Nathan's billy-goat scruff, but it just seemed too half-assed to include here). Is it any surprise that Burton is having success, or that Ron [redacted] Davis was clean-shaven? No. No, it is not.
- The most important potential member of the 2013 starting rotation Tweeted that he will throw from 60' 6" for the first time since TJ (Tommy John, baseball term) on Monday. With the possible exception of whatever Francisco Liriano start convinces some team to give the Twins a viable prospect or two, I would argue that this is the most critical pitching performance by a Twins pitcher in 2012.
- Via Twinkie Town's Steve Adams, ESPN prospect guru Keith Law ranks Byron Buxton ahead of Miguel Sano as the team's best prospect, "and that's saying something." For those wondering what that weird, tingly feeling is, it's positivity about your favorite team's farm system. You probably haven't felt it in awhile. That said, if you also smell burnt toast, you probably have the Shining like Dick Hallorann, the chef at the Overlook Hotel. Stay out of Room 217.
- I don't care for the White Sox, and neither do you. But I respect Paul Konerko, and T.S. Flynn has a fine appreciation of him at The Classical. Bonus points for the Studs Terkel quote about the Cubs.