It appears that Bartolo Colon will be unavailable to pitch for Oakland today. More information as it becomes available. Before you even attempt it: everyone has already made the "tested positive for cupcakes" joke. Don't bother.

HEAVERS:

Third time's the charm, right?

Milone hasn't won in over a month. He throws with his left hand. He spells "Malone" wrong.

Lineups and newsy bits after the jump jump:

YARD-LEAVERS:

Twins (courtesy Rhett Bollinger):

1. Revere CF

2. Casilla 2B

3. Mauer 1B

4. Willingham LF

5. Doumit DH

6. Carson RF

7. Plouffe 3B

8. SWEET DREW C

9. Florimon SS

Athletics

TBA

NOTES:

• Carl Pavano is done for the season with a bruised humerus bone. (Twins medical staff joke goes here #1)
• Denard Span did not take an MRI yesterday due to his claustrophobia. (Twins medical staff joke goes here #2) Assuming he doesn't play today, this will be his 10th missed game without going on the DL, and the 10th game in a row where the Twins were short-handed for no good goddamn reason.