We haven't seen the Twins' advertising campaign for 2013 yet; I'm sure it'll be a doozy. "Get To Know 'Em: Opposing GMs Are" might be the theme. Until then, let's scan the archives from that other hotbed of marketing wizardry, Hollywood, and see if we can't find excellent movie posters which embody Minnesota's 2013 squad.
Well, that was easy enough. And while Worley is not a sagacious Black caddy, he wears glasses, which as almost as cliched. Let's try something trickier, Joe Mauer:
Alright! Now we're getting subtle! On to Ryan Doumit:
The EYES. Those dark, soulless Doumit eyes. Justin Morneau:
Because, you know, concussions. I'm not suggesting Morneau is crazy, although he does get a little weird on the number "33" thing, stopping his microwave with three seconds remaining and so forth (I'm not making this up.) If I wanted to suggest he was nuts, I would have used "Basket Case."
On to the quality middle infielders:
Um, let's just skip to Josh Willingham, shall we?
Yeah, that seems about right. Finally, my take on a year of watching the Twins' remaining outfield options:
Ideally I've helped the Twins' marketing department, in my own small way. You're welcome.
(Apologies to less cowbell, who did a better version of this, but I enjoyed farting around with old movie posters -- ;)