We haven't seen the Twins' advertising campaign for 2013 yet; I'm sure it'll be a doozy. "Get To Know 'Em: Opposing GMs Are" might be the theme. Until then, let's scan the archives from that other hotbed of marketing wizardry, Hollywood, and see if we can't find excellent movie posters which embody Minnesota's 2013 squad.

Vance Worley:

via www.crankycritic.com

Well, that was easy enough. And while Worley is not a sagacious Black caddy, he wears glasses, which as almost as cliched. Let's try something trickier, Joe Mauer:

via i.ebayimg.com

Alright! Now we're getting subtle! On to Ryan Doumit:

via cdn2-b.examiner.com

The EYES. Those dark, soulless Doumit eyes. Justin Morneau:

via www.freeonlinemoviestreaming.net

Because, you know, concussions. I'm not suggesting Morneau is crazy, although he does get a little weird on the number "33" thing, stopping his microwave with three seconds remaining and so forth (I'm not making this up.) If I wanted to suggest he was nuts, I would have used "Basket Case."

On to the quality middle infielders:

via www.moviepostersdirect.co.uk

Um, let's just skip to Josh Willingham, shall we?

via www.moviegoods.com

Yeah, that seems about right. Finally, my take on a year of watching the Twins' remaining outfield options:

via 1.bp.blogspot.com

Ideally I've helped the Twins' marketing department, in my own small way. You're welcome.

(Apologies to less cowbell, who did a better version of this, but I enjoyed farting around with old movie posters -- ;)